Thursday, March 05, 2009

42

GAH!

Ah well. It was a nice birthday. We had balloons, a great cake, a wonderful dinner and some relaxation with the fam. They even cleaned the house for me. Very nice of them! Days like this makes me feel special.

Love you guys!

Thoughts on work after the contract

"Prepare Yourself for Success" by Rachelle Gardner, Literary Agent.

http://cba-ramblings.blogspot.com/2009/03/prepare-yourself-for-success.html


Whew! When I read this I got depressed. I know my family would support me, but so much work will come! Am I ready? No. Will I be? No clue.

I've got to get ready.

Last night I took a long walk, pondering the fearful future that a writing contract would mean while at the same time pondering all my resent rejections and the possibility that maybe no one wants Annabelle. Well after all that swimming in my head I was ready to throw in the towel.

But I took a deep look inside me. I thought of what it would mean to not be published. What if it never happened? What if I did quit?

I realized that I can't stop the stories. If I never planned on getting them out there, if I never had a reason to perfect the craft, I'd still gravitate towards the Parodyverse or other sites where I could write.

Why?

Because many, many stories run through my head. Everything and anything sets them up and they create on their own. Maybe I'm codependent but I have this wild need (ever sense I discovered writing for others) to share my stories.

So if I quit this foolish dream where I only half get what would really happen if I became a published author, if I quit this, I'd still write stories. Only after all is said and done, I'd think on the few requests I got back in '06 and wonder. What if?

I'm not going to quit. I'm considerably pessimistic about the whole thing, but I wont quit.

Truth is, Rachelle Gardner is correct. If a miracle happens and I do get a contract, there will be deadlines just to name one problem. Deadlines while striving to keep my full time job and still know my family.
What I can do now is help my future self by getting an extra jump on those deadlines and perfecting the craft.

Book two of Annabelle needs heavy editing.
My "store" project needs to be written.
My "fantasy" project needs to be written.
Book 3 of Annabelle needs to be both edited and written.

I've got a long way to go so and only evenings and weekends to do it. I need to make a schedule. Pick certain days and weeks to work on writing, editing and submitting.

More later as I try this.