A request for a full!

YES! I got a request for a full. Man I'm excited! Now I realize the chances are always high for a rejection, but I have to do a happy dance.

*Dances like a crazy man for a minute*

Oh yes, oh yes, oh yes, oh yes!

Doctor Who rodeo!

YEEHAW!

Darth Vader Blues

California

Last week I went to Huntington Beach, California for training in Micro station.
The classes were Tues through Friday, with Monday being a travel/get to know the area day.

I had a really good time. I went with a co-worker named Dennis and his wife. She brought along her laptop to study real estate while he was in class. Class was good. I understood a lot and got ahead of things. Now I just need to remember everything.

I flew out on Delta. It was a small plane but the flight was good. The rental car was a Mustang. I'm not into cars but it looks and drives nice. It was too cramped, though.

I stayed at the Best Western Regency and they stayed at the Hilton.
Monday we all rested after the traveling. I mostly read the second "His Dark Materials" book called The Subtle Knife by Phillip Pullman.
Tuesday I stayed around the hotel and worked on the novel edits (Dennis' wife was wonderful. She let me use her lap top in the evenings).
Wednesday we went to Downtown Disney. Great place. The family is so going back!
Thursday I hung around the beach, the Pier and did some shopping at the little stores on Main Street.
Friday we got out of class early so we went to the pier to have lunch, looked around and then went to the airport early.

We flew out Friday night (I chose late Friday because I didn't want to be away from the family any longer). We flew out on Jet Blue and it was a better plane. There was TVs on the backs of the seats. I flipped through channels faster than a ADD person dosed in Crack. It was just so fun. :)

I really enjoyed the trip. I hope to go again someday. I was glad to get home, too. I missed everyone. I had a lot of time to work on the edits, but I waisted some of that time. BAD SCOOTER! I did finish Pullman's book and started on Stephenie Meyer's New Moon.

Well there is my travel story. Here are pics of the event.

Marvel/DC: After Hours #6

Check out JT''s blog!

Like humor? Need a laugh?

Go check out JT and Tea's blog.

He's one of my friends and he's a riot.

http://jtandtea.blogspot.com/

Spider-Man 3 How It Should Have Ended

Update on things

We saved the house. Now to get back to regular things and strive to keep things normal. At least what passes for it in our lives.


Tuesday night (all night) I was in the emergency room with my Katie. She has the stomach flu. She wasn’t improving (her blood pressure was dropping down and she remained pale despite a whole bag of water that went through her IV). They checked her in to the hospital and at 4:30 am (a ½ hour before I would get up for work) I went home to sleep for a bit while Janeen took over Katie Watch.
Later I took over and remained at the hospital till 7:30pm when she was released. She’s much better but we found out she’s anemic. They prescribed iron pills and sent us home.

Now I’m going to walk the dogs and then come home. If I have time to read some PV stories so I don’t get farther behind and so some of our fine writers get appropriate kuddos for their hard work, I will. Not sure if there is time. Another sad thing is that I just don’t have time to edit the book today. Several authors (including Stephanie Meyers) say to write every day and I didn’t do that today. Grr.

Speaking of Stephanie Meyers, with all that time at the emergency room last night, I was able to finish Twilight. It was a good book that kept me reading. I’ve observed a lot of showing instead of telling. This helps me in finding how I can show in my own way. I was disappointed with the ending, but a lot of that is because my muse has me thinking in one direction and she didn’t go that way. Just in time, Phillip Pullman’s The Subtle Knife (part two of His Dark Materials) arrived at the library. Now I can continue with that. Twilight’s sequel, New Moon, is due soon too.

I guess I’ll have reading material for my trip to California next week. For those of you out of the States, I live in Utah and California is two States away. My work is sending me to Huntington Beach (that’s Southern California) for training. I’ll have free evenings and besides looking for souvenirs and walking on the beach, I’m going to use the hotel guest computer to work on editing the novel as well as penning a PV story.

And that’s the news. :)

ItsJustSomeRandomGuy does it again...

Vampire writing music

I’ve been meaning to respond to a “music as writing inspiration” thread for a year but just haven’t made the time!

When I’m actually writing, sometimes music distracts me but there are some tunes that build up my excitement and keep me going.
Normally, though, I don’t listen when I’m writing or editing.

I’m a CAD Drafter by way of day job. I try to listen to music constantly. There are certain fast songs (like Evanescence “My Immortal” and “Bring me to life” that get me in the mood for Annabelle.
Some time ago I did a search for vampire music and found a lot. I also added several non-vampire movie themes that speak to me.

When I hear the Edward Scissorhands theme, at first I see the children in their dark cloaks, pale faces and bright red hair and eyes, following Eliza (their adoptive mother and vampire mentor) through the Colonial town at night. Then the song changes tempo and I see Annabelle dancing in the light of the full moon, as well as flying with the boy she loves, Thomas.

When I hear “Love Song for a Vampire” by Annie Lennox I see Eliza, biting the near dead children and turning them into what she is. I see her sorrow for them, and hope for them and the future they must save.

“The Kraken” from the Pirates of the Caribbean II soundtrack, gives me thoughts of Dominic and his evil majesty. I see his armies of night creatures, his mad devotion to his three black eternal goals and feel the pure, deep, forever evil seething within. The power. The arrogance. How could two simple children ever hope to stop his plan?

From the play “Dance of the Vampires”, the song “Carpe Noctem” always shows me the final battle at the end of the series. Taking place in whatever year the book comes out, I see Annabelle and Roland, now generals and leaders of their army, putting up the last line of defense with all their friends and allies against the massive armies at Dominic’s control.

It goes on and on. The Cocteau Twins – “Music For Vampires” is the children as little bats, hunting in the night. ”Journey To Transylvania” from the “Van Helsing” soundtrack shows me a different carriage ride than the one it was written for. It shows Annabelle, Thomas and Eliza in their desperate chase to rescue Roland from that gruff vampire-trapper Fenroth (and I don’t mean he traps vampires, I mean he is a trapper from pre-Colonial days who is also a vampire, and one of Dominic’s right hand men).

Music just excites me and drives the desires onward. I’m glad I finally took the time to share this with you guys.

A poem to discribe my thoughts

Oh bright ball of lunar majesty! You sit in the heavens, full of illuminating power!
As I walk the streets of man, my faithful beasts at my side, I wonder at your glow.
I hear her behind your glory.
If she were real she’d be dancing beneath you. If she were real she’s stroll much like I did, listening to the nightlife and thirsting for more.
I hear her in every cricket chirp.
I see her in every shadow.
I feel her in the glow of that beautiful moon.

So why do I not heed her strong influence once more? Why dose my Chapter Eight, and all it’s sisters, remain unedited?

Exhaustion. The frail body cannot keep up with life’s demands.

But I must return. Tomorrow I hope to return. She must be headed. I will serve her tempting, addictive call.

Chocolate Rain by Chad Vader

Marvel/DC: After Hours #5

Chad Vader update

SIXTH EDITS!

I'm going to bring in the old chapter 5 (where Dominic shows up at the house) and I need to polish and refine the prose. This will be an extensive reread where I try and check that the reader can really feel whats going on.

I got a review from a published vampire author. I like what she said and it goes along with what that one rejection said, but it's put in a better, helpful way.

The Golden Compass

I saw the preview and decided to treat this movie (and another one, the Spiderwick Chronicles) like I treated Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings in 2001.
Back then I saw the previews for both movies and decided to read the books to know ahead of time what the stories were truly like. This way I could enjoy the movie even more.

It worked great for both those so I'm doing it again. I read the first four Spiderwicks (they're small) and while waiting for book five from the library I started on Golden Compass. I like Spiderwick, but I think I like Compass more.

Originally published in England as the Northern Lights, this is the first of a trilogy. It's about a girl in a parallel Earth who has to go on a quest and do all sorts of stuff. You know me, I like my spunky, adventurous girls (Annabelle) so I'm totally eating it up.

At first I wasn't to enamoured with Lyra only because she's a bit crass sometimes, but as a writer I can see that Phillip Pullman did that to give her room to grow in the series.

In this world every human who ever lived has a Deamon. These are shape shifting creatures who share every emotion and physical feeling with their human. Lyra's Deamon is Pantalaimon. I really like him. He's my favorite character. Sometimes he reminds me of Adam's "Fleabot", but not rude.

This preview shows him a bit more than the other. It's from the Comic Con.






Pretty sweet, huh?

I hope we're out of our crisis by December. I REALLY want to see this.

At the moment I'm about half way through the first book. I need to get back to reading.

An accounting of my submissions so far...

Started October 06- present (August 07)

1 request for a full. (Among the rejected)
6 requests for partials (5 among the rejected)
1 full submission to a publisher (among the rejected)
59 Rejections total

32 electronic submissions still out there. 11 since last March)
9 snail mail submissions still out there. (8 since last March)
1 full soon to be submission to a publisher going out next payday.


I discovered as I compiled this list that I still had a request for a partial since last October that was still out there. I’ve gone through three revisions since then. The first five chapters (most of which were slow intro chapters and a first chapter that, while quick and hooky, was back-story) have been removed since then! Huh. I emailed him to ask if he wanted the new chapters. I expect a rejection but still!

100 submissions so far. Not bad.

JK Rowling web chat transcript now online

Lot's of info on the behind the scenes stuff for books 6 and 7. Take a look.


Here’s the transcript as seen on Mugglenet. BIG SPOILERS FOR BOOK 7

Request for a full, hmm, worry...

I'm done with the 5th edits and now I'm submitting again.

I've got four email submissions out (two more back, instantly rejected), two more as snail mails and...

A full.

Not sure about this one though. Here's why and advice needed.


I was at the local fair and discovered an author signing her cook books. I asked who her agent was. She didn't have one but she gave me the name of a contact person for a small publisher here in Utah.


Cedar Fork Inc


I called the guy and talked of my book, my passion and the kids and betas who loved it. He's more than happy to look at the manuscript.

It's a small publisher, though.


As some of you might remember, I asked about jumping in with a small press.


Here's the link...


http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=44643&highlight=Shadow+Mountain


I'm still concerned. I've "only" been looking for a year and as you guys know, that’s small potatoes. Feels like forever. Still I hear about how authors start out with small publishers, then after a bit they sell to bigger ones. I believe JK and the Eragon writer both did this.


I want Annabelle everywhere, not just in Utah. It's for any young adult audience. Of course, it's not LDS and this small publisher seems to focus on LDS, so it'll probably be rejected. I did send in to Shadow Mountain last October. It was rejected.


I guess I still have fears that it wont get very far with a small timer and since I have no agent I will get shafted in the deal.


Yet I hear that it's easier to get an agent if you have a publisher already. Kind of like you've done their work for them. And I do need a foot in the door.

Look at me, putting the cart before the horse.

I put this in "Goals and Accomplishments" because it's kind of exciting to me that some one will be looking at the whole book. And this is the version where we begin in the thick of the main plot.

Wish me luck and if anyone has more advice on the good/bad of small publishers please let me know.

5th edits done

I cant cut any more from the front. Sure, I could cut the kidnappers and the school house, but why?

This version is the best. I know there still will be more edits, but I'm happy.

I sent out five submissions to lit agents today. Got two more rejections. That means three plus the one from the 31st of July combine to make four submissions.

So four out there. I want to send out two more tomorrow by mail. That would make six. It's not the goal of twenty, but I cant send the rest next week.

I'm a drop in a large bucket. Chances of striking gold is crazy, but I feel good about it. There were those who were interested in the past. Maybe I'll hook more and maybe, just maybe, I'll get to keep one.

Too static, feeling better

Saundra Mitchell posted the best reply on Absolute Write.

"When my agent and I were cleaning up a manuscript for submission, she said something to me that has stuck with me ever since, referring to the big hook of the introduction: "Page 54 is too late."

So if your real story doesn't start until Chapter Three, then Chaps 1 and 2 may be full of action and motion, but they're static because the story hasn't started yet, perhaps?"

My real story starts in chapter 5 or 6.

I'm getting some ideeeeas.

Too static part two

I posted the following on AW (Absolute Write).

It gives my feelings right now.

----

Thanks guys. Not a bad idea. He only looked at the first three chapters. Chapter one is constantly in motion, but two gives time to figure who the main characters are and the world they live in. Chapter three has them discovering the spooky plot.

Maybe I'll take the real changing event of the book and put it in the front. Maybe I should take that important second chapter of info, and spread it out.

I just don't get it. I read other author's books. I read their first ones, the ones that they sold and gained the agents and publishers from. I read those and I see boring second and third chapters with info dumps and everything else. How did they get accepted?
Meanwhile, people tell me they love my book and can't put it down, yet it gets rejected from agents again and again.

I've changed and changed and changed. I've been told to alter things by one beta to the point that it would no longer be my dream anymore. The kids liked it. People I only met through looking for betas liked it. Yet no agent wants it.

Maybe they're too picky? Maybe I'm not giving enough of the dream up? Maybe I have changed too much? Maybe I've changed enough? It took JK ten years from concept to publish. Will I be 50 when it's published? IF it's published? Am I fooling myself? Am I jumping the gun with my concerns?

Should I skip the agents? Should I write them all off as too jaded and untrusting and move onto publishers? But then I'll run out of publishers.

On one hand I believe this will make it. On the other I wonder if I'm fooling myself. I started to submit last fall and after several requests I'm still left cold. And I can't even trust what they say. One agent told me vampire fiction was past it's time, yet others wanted it and I see vampire fiction selling. So if I can't trust them, who can I trust? Maybe a interested agent who wants to give me a real chance is as real as the tooth fairy.

WHEN? WHO?
WHY do I feel, deep down, like this will be ok? WHY? Why is it so... dang...hard?

GAAAAHHHH!

Too static?

Got a rejection from the agent I was hoping for.

"Thanks for giving me a look, but I'll pass on Anabelle and Roland. I still like the idea, but your prose feels too static. Try reading your work out loud to establish flow."

I thought it WAS moving? Maybe chapter 2 is still killing me. I rewrote it, changed it and shrunk it. If I do too much I won't be able to give the necessary info.

Sigh.

I'll reread through it aloud, but I'm losing hope.

All Good things… my review of the last Potter; Spoilers Plenty!

Whew! What a ride!

I started interest in the Potterverse in ’01. The movie was coming out (as was Lord of the Rings) and I wanted to read the book so I could properly judge the film before I saw it.

I picked up the first Harry Potter and couldn’t put it down. I had checked it out from the local library, devoured it on the bus to work, at lunch, before and after work. I could not get enough. I then picked up the second, third and finally the fourth. I remember when I finished the first book at 9 pm. My wife was asleep at the house was very quiet. I can still feel the quiet, peaceful urge to just slip back in to that wonderful universe.

By the time I got in line for the first movie I had become a Potter nut. I was so excited to see so much from the new book I loved on the screen. I enjoyed each movie as they came out (and will do the same for the last two). I lamented the stuff that was cut and enjoyed the stuff that we did see.

When the fifth book came out I heard of the 12:00 lines but I blew them off. I went in the next day and to my horror it was sold out at the local Wal Mart. We searched in the city and found one copy at a Wal Mart in there. I remember taking the book home and reading it to the kids. I couldn’t finish the reading because they all drifted off. My eldest doesn’t like reading and lost interest. She’d rather see the movies. My other kids got distracted. I still remember using different voices for the characters. This is why movie five was so surreal to me.

When book six came out I was wiser. I arrived at Wal Mart an hour ahead. The kids came along cause it’s fun to go to the store at midnight. We got the book and brought it home. They didn’t want me to read it, but they did want spoilers. During the same week it came out, my little David needed his next plastic surgery. My wife and I stayed at the hospital the three days he was there. I had plenty of time to read it. I remember watching Dumbledore dying while reading in one of the hospital bathrooms at 1 am.
As some of you know, I was writing my first book at this time and made the stupid mistake of comparing my rough draft to JKR’s 6th book. Dumb. But thanks to several people, I woke up, took a good look and fixed things.

I have no bad comparison feelings this time. JKR is JKR and I am me. Several have expressed a desire to see more of my world and I firmly believe in the work. If anything, reading book 7 just gets me more excited to continue the good fight.

Wow, I’m long winded. Sorry. It’s just that the Potterverse has formed a strong place in my heart. It’s hard to see it go but all good things have to end. If they don’t then they grow stale or get convoluted (like Marvel and DC have done).

My thoughts on book 7?
First off, it began strong. In one of the few times in the entire series, we start from a different perspective than Harry. Nice, strong beginning with a look in on the bad guys. Then we finish the Dursleys. What a strong start! There was humor and drama. I was at a loss and had to reread Hedwig’s death to make sure I read it right. She made us think Hagrid was dead and that had me on my seat. The loss of George’s ear was shocking and their ability to land on their feet was a good show.

Things continued very well. I loved Ginny’s birthday present to Harry and Ron’s clear affection to Hermione. I was shocked at Moody’s death and bewildered that “Year Seven at Hogwarts” wasn’t at Hogwarts. Then, when the trio are doing nothing and suffering the evil of the Ring (I mean the necklace), I was turning sour. It seemed to drag.

But then it was a trip to the Malfoys and it picked up very fast. I couldn’t put it down! Dobby’s stuff got to me, the Vault stuff was fun and the revelations about Dumbledore and his brother was enlightening.

I really enjoyed how many revelations came one after the other. Each big reveal scene was spaced between plenty of action scenes and lots of old friends returning.
The Battle of Hogwarts (so many came back! Fred, Lupin, Tonks and Colen Creevy all died! No! Not one of the twins!), Hermione and Ron finally hooking up (BOUT FLIPPIN TIME!), the reveal of Snape (I knew it!) and finally to discover that Harry was in fact the seventh horcrux (just as Emerson of Mugglenet predicted).

When it was discovered that Harry had to die I suspected (since the Dumbledore in the Pensieve closed his eyes) that there was more to the story, but I still felt like “Feh. Ok. Whatever. He’s had a life time of pain but… feh.” It was nice (and another confirmation to my predictions) when we saw Harry’s parents, Lupin and Sirius again. That links into that line from Luna (things we lose have a funny way of turning up).
But my suspicions were correct. Harry wouldn’t die! And what a bang up, smash up final! I was wrong. Nevil didn’t give his life. I liked his heroic moments far better.
They CAN’T cut anything from the battle for the movie. Cut out most of the wandering trio, just not the battle.
I figured the Epilogue would be with the older Harry & Ginny Potter, Ron & Hermione Weasley and all the kids. Perfect.
So Harry was born in 1980, the books took place from 1991-1997, and the “19 years later” epilouge took place last year. That means this year is Albus Severus Potter and Rose Weasley’s second year at Hogwarts. I can hear the fan fic keyboards typing already.

A fitting end to a wonder experience. It is my fondest wish, dream and life goal to bring that much joy to people in the future.

“Good Ol’ JK!” Thanks!

More "I'm a Marvel"

He's still just as funny, but he needs better figures.

Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson and Rupert Grint on Moviephone

I LOVE the interview that Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson and Rupert Grint gave each other on Moviephone.

The best part is when Rupert and Emaa talk about kissing and the laughter that comes out.



Here it is...

My thoughts on Harry Potter & the Order of the Phoenix SPOILERS

1st off, it was surreal to sit there, waiting for a film that it feels like just yesterday I was reading the first half to the kids. Wow.

I really liked it. Let's get into what was cut and was missed...

From the book that was removed or changed)

The constant owls and letters at the Dursleys (including the howler for Aunt Petunia, the time alone with Tonks as Harry packed (we get the feeling of what Harry might want to be an Auror from that part), Lupin showed up at the Dursleys too, Ginny chewing out Harry, most of the O.W.L. stuff, Dobby showing Harry the room, the Twins saying they used it before, the hospital stuff including the return of Lockhart and the tear jerking scene with Nevel and his parents, the time on the Hogwarts express with Luna Ginny and Nevel, the quittich with Ron, Arther Weasley's office, Hermonie and Ron as Prefects, the sacking of Hagrid where McGonnigal is hurt (but I've seen her looking 'hurt' in some pics so that may be a deleted scene), Trelauney's centaur replacement, Ginny and co guarding Umbridge's door (but when they brought in Nevel it looked like that was missing, it was choppy so maybe another deleted scene?) and any mention of the Bat Bogey hex.
There were other things too.


And what do I say about that? Who cares?

I really liked it. I mean they had Fred & George's products, Ginny showing how powerful she is and foreshadowing her feeling about Harry next film, the twins exit, Snape's lessons, Kreature, the battle at the end...
So many good parts. I really like how they did the movie. They were able to cover all the important parts and keep the series on track.

It's interesting how, at the end, they reshaped Luna and Harry's conversation to make you hope that Serius could come back. I really wonder if JK wanted them to set it up that way on purpose. I can't quote it, but the wording just struck me.

I was worried that having Rom meet Gwarp would be a problem, but he made the scene even better. I liked how he tried to defend Hermonie.

It was cool seeing scenes from movies 1,3 and 4 in Harry's mind. Snape's worst memory was in his head instead of the pensive, but that's ok.

The battle between Voldie and Dumbledore took my breathe away. And seeing the order in action was nice, too.

Beatrix was wonderful. So was Umbridge. Trelauny was great, too.

I'm still under 'after movie glow' but I think this has been my favorite movie this year with Even Almighty as second, then Spidey 3 followed by FF2 and Pirates in last place. But that's my opinion at the moment.

Good stuff.

Now, it's time for the main event, BOOK SEVEN!

Lost net & phone service

Last night I discovered that our internet and phone was turned off. We're hoping to get it back today. If not, then I may not be online (except from work, where I can't do as much) till late next week.

We'll have to see.

*Crosses fingers*

Got my Potter tickets!

We're going to watch it at noon on Saturday. I know, I know, you'd think a Potter nut like me would see it tonight.
I'm more of a family man and I'd rather see it with my family. Also, I need to be up at 4:15 am for work tomorrow.

Anyway, I've very excited. Also, there is a big Potter Party at Wal Mart the night the book is released (12:01 am Sat. It starts at 7:30 pm Friday.

So fun all around. :)

JK Rowling on the Jonathan Ross show

Part 1




Part 2

Finally figured an ending!

I did it.

I solved the mystery. I figured out how book 2 ends. It will be great! Now to edit 1/2 the book and write the other half.

I also cleaned up the outline to book 3.

I'm so filled with a writing fever!

1st day at work

I'm terrified it will be like the others. Man, I hope I can keep this job.

Wish me luck!

New Job

I forgot to mention it here. I got a job! I start next Monday.
Finally! I can pay my bills!

Indy is back!

Harrison Ford is dressed up and filming the next one!




Here’s the site, discribing it.

More Chad Vaders

I'm way behind in my postings of Blame Society's 'Chad Vader'.

Here is parts 7 and 8.

Batman Dead End

An old favorite. Keep watching, Willard!

Cool fan made trailer, Grayson

"The Mysterious Ticking Noise" (the fan version)

Cool Secret Wars fan made trailer

Hi, I'm a Marvel...and I'm a DC: After Hours #2

Star Trek Bloopers

Star Trek Parody

Explanation of Amazing Boy

Below is a story I posted on the Parodyverse. I've been writing story little stories for the board, trying to tie up old plot threads, or in this case, create new stories.

I posted it here because unlike my usual PV stuff, I'm trying to write this series better.

Anyway, I thought I'd add it here.

Amazing Boy #1, Beginnings

Bonnyville, Utah had always been a quiet community. It was November 2003, and practically the entire town had come out for the Winter Festival. Various rides were set up for the townspeople’s enjoyment.
Eight year old Adam Taylor had just finished riding the Spinning Tops for the fifth time. His best friend, Tommy Dewstorm, was starting to turn green.
“No more, Adam. Let’s try something else.”
Adam laughed. “Alright. You never could do a sixer.”
“It’s not my fault I have a weak stomach. Let’s try some of the carnival games. My dad gave me some money. Let’s see if we can win something.”
“Alright.”
The boys walked over to the darts booth. A brutish looking seventeen-year-old boy was put in charge of the booth. His bored girlfriend was leaning against the booth. She seemed really upset at him.
“Hey, can we have some darts?” Tommy asked.
“B ut Jill, you’re wrong. I can change. Just give me a chance.”
“I’ve had it with you, Barney. You go around, bullying kids and laughing at it. I caught you flirting with Mary Fiffertree this morning. Enough is enough!”
“Aw, Mary just wanted to pop some balloons!”
“You kept staring at her ‘balloons’!”
Barney handed the boys three darts each and then continued to plea for his relationship. “I was not! Look, there’s something special about me. I can show you!”
Adam felt his stomach turn slightly upside-down.
“Are you ok?” His friend asked
“Yeah, I don’t know what’s wrong. I’ve never felt this way before. Let’s just play.” He threw his first dart but it seemed to hit the clear air and then fall to the ground.
“You gotta throw it harder, kid.” Barney turned to Mary and said, “Watch the space in front of the balloons. Watch!”
Adam tried his other two darts but each one did the same as the last.
“Haw! Next time throw ‘em harder.”
“I did throw them hard!”
“Here, it’s my turn.” Tommy pulled back his arm and tried but his first dart also seemed to bounce off thin air.
“See? It’s a trick, huh?”
“Naw. You’re just a couple of weaklings.”
Mary sniffed and turned to walk away. Barney called to her. “No! Wait! Didn’t you see?”
“All I saw was you teasing those boys!”
“No. I . . . well, ok. I was teasing them, but look!”
She continued to walk a step further. Then she stopped abruptly as her face hit an unseen wall. “What is this?” she asked as she felt the solid air. When she turned around her eyes flew open with horror.
Barney was concentrating on the invisible wall. His face turned up to an evil smile. “See? I’m doing it! See how cool I am? I can create force fields! Now you’ll keep going out with me.”
Mary screamed. Several people looked over. “You’re a freak! Stay away! HELP! HE’S A FREAK AND HE’S GOING TO KILL ME!”
“No! Mary, I just wanted to . . .”
Adam grabbed Tommy’s hand and started to pull him away. He pulled them towards the Fun House.
Enraged, Barney started to point at various things. His invisible force fields pushed things around while at the same time, he held the screaming Mary in a tight invisible grip. “No! You will love me! I’ll show you! I’ll take apart the whole festival with my abilities!”
Wind whipped up the fairgrounds. Adam and Tommy had continued to make a bee-line for the fun house when something started to push them down.
“Look! It’s the Lair Legion!” The wind had been caused by a Lair Jet. The archer Trickshot hopped out and started to fire a volley of arrows.
“Come on, kid. Stand down.”
“No!” Each arrow was blocked.
When two more Legionaries hopped out of the Jet, Adam felt excited to see more of his heroes coming to the rescue. At the same time he felt a little sick.
“Lucky we were flying over.” Goldeneyed said to his teammates.
Tommy announced them to Adam. “Ziles! Goldeneyed! Now you’re in trouble! Adam? What?”
Adam had begun to pull Tommy into the fun house. “We’ve got to get cover!”
When Adam looked into the fun house (and away from Tommy whom was looking back even as he was getting pulled), Adam’s eyes glowed yellow. He was not even aware of it. All he knew was that they were a foot or so closer to the fun house entrance.
As soon as they had gotten inside, Adam turned around. Goldeneyed has teleported a roller coaster car above Barney, but the boy pushed it randomly away. It was heading towards the entrance of the fun house. Instinctively Adam held up his arms. An invisible force field blocked the car.
“Whoa! We’re lucky it fell short!” Tommy said. Adam was not so sure.
“Come on. Let’s go deeper in.”
As Adam led his best friend inside he looked at the crazy mirrors. He concentrated hard and an invisible force field pushed the mirror over. It shattered, causing both boys to jump.
“Maybe it’s contagious?”
“What?” Tommy asked.
“Oh, nothing. I was talking about the mirror. Maybe the battle outside caused it to top over?”
Suddenly, several mirrors joined the other one as the fun house shook. It lifted up into the air. The boys fell to the wooded floor. Barney’s voice could be heard outside. “LEVE ME ALONE OR I’LL DROP IT ON THE CROWD!”
“Jeeze! Calm down, kid!”
“Ziles, anyone inside the fun house?”
“I’ll check, Bry.”
Adam moaned. A headache filled his brain as the sound of stereo feedback filled his thoughts. Outside, Ziles could be heard giving off a soft moan.
“Everything all right?”
“Yes. There are two boys inside. Here. I’ll get them.” Adam could see it in his mind. Ziles had run to the Ferris wheel, leapt onto the seats and continued to make her way up. She then leapt to the hovering fun house and went inside. He was shocked when she had entered the curtain flap. Adam wondered how he could have seen it in his mind.
Stereo feedback filled his mind, but he could hear Ziles in his head. She was looking at him as she knelt down to where the boys were hiding. Her lips were not moving. “I’m a telepath, child. So are you. You can hear people’s thoughts if you concentrate on them.”
She said aloud, “Come, boys. Follow me and Goldeneyed will teleport us safely to the ground.”
As the boys followed her, Adam thought to Ziles, “Please don’t tell anyone the things I can do.”
She looked deep into his eyes. “Alright. It’ll be our secret.”
When she held the boys at the edge of the fun house opening, Goldeneyed looked up. His eyes flashed yellow and then they found that they where safe on the ground.
“Oh sweet earth!” Tommy knelt down and started to kiss the ground.
Barney collapsed as a arrow zipped around him. It was giving out a strange gas.
“Sleep-Gas Arrow does it every time.”

---

That night found Adam in the bathroom, brushing his teeth. He was lost in thought as he looked in the mirror.
“I created a see-through thing, just like that kid they took away. It knocked over that mirror. I also read that hero lady’s thoughts. I don’t know how I did either but somehow I did.”
Something brought Adam out of his thoughts. His reflection started to disappear. Before he realized what had happened, his reflection was gone. All that remained was his toothbrush, hanging in the air. He looked down to see that his own body was invisible.
“GAHH!”
He fell backwards onto the floor.
“Adam?” called his mother from downstairs. “Are you all right?”
His body was visible again. “Yeah, mom. I’m ok.”
As thoughts of what he had just done passed through his mind, he remembered Barney and Mary. He pictured how scared she was of him.
“Whatever I just did, I hope it doesn’t happen again. I don’t want everyone thinking I’m a freak, too.”

---

Welcome to my newest character, Adam Taylor. We’re going to cover his story slowly. I’ve got lots of other stories to get finished, too.
For this story, I’m going to try and write it better than the usual PV story. The parts will be short, but I’ll work harder on them. There still won’t be a lot of editing. What I mean is, the first draft is what you’ll see, so it’s not perfect.
But it’s fresh.
Anyway, more to come as we see Adam’s story unfold through the years until we see him nowadays.



Footnotes:


This story takes place sometime around #129: Untold Tales of the Lair Legion: Aftermath, or Sixteen Sub-Plots Looking For a Home

BWAHAHAHAHA!

Willard, make him stop!

Ben Stiller does Bono doing "Lucky Clovers".

I remember this when it first aired. Ben Stiller does Bono doing "Lucky Clovers". It's pretty funny.


Here it is.
"jasonroxdammit" doesn't want it shared, so you'll have to go to the link.

Steam Trek

Caption the Pic… Fantastic Four II Tribute

Well, I saw FF II. I liked it better than Pirates 3 but not as much as Spidey III. I won't go into why becuase this is a spoiler free zone.

I DID like it, though.

Anyway, on to CTP. Last week's were captioned by; Visionary, Dan W, Gernot, japester, gonzo, HH, Wheelchair Rocker, BumblebeeZ3, j, Manga Shoggoth, Soul, Matty, Spackling Compound, Avian, Dr. Octagon, Greg the Bunny, Emerje, omike015, Red and Brainlock.

Thanks guys!

Here’s the caption site.

Don't forget to check out the RAVING TOY MANIAC Board to see the other captions posted for today's pic.

And don't forget to check out the TALES OF THE PARODYVERSE Board to see more captions posted for today's pic. Here's the link...

No obscene captions please, kids are reading. :)
Here's this one, have fun.

TORN by Johann Lippowitz

This starts out a little dirty, but it gets funnier. I got an email back when I worked at Envirocare with this in it. Now, every time I hear this song, I think of this.

How it should have ended

These are great. The guys at how it should have ended.com have done a number of fun ones. Here are my favorites.


Superman



Lord of the Rings



Willy Wonka



Star Wars Episode IV



Pirates of the Caribbean; Dead Man's Chest



Braveheart



It's a Wonderful Life



And my favorite of their bits,

How to Survive an Alien Attack

My late thoughts on Ghost Rider.

I really liked it. So did Janeen and the kids. Very good movie. I need to own it. Good story, good acting and good special effects.

Give us a sequel.

Normal days

Nothing to report.

I'm writing again. I've been getting some of the Parodyverse stories out of my brain and online. I just posted one yesterday. I hope to continue BIC (butt in chair) and write more. While I'm home there is a lot of writing to be had.

That request is still out. I'm hopefull and realistic at the same time. I am not depressed. Who knows, right?

I got another job option today. Hopefully one of these will work out. The bills or wolves are at the door.

My in-laws are still in Disneyland. It pisses off my wife and I don't blame her. They never paid us back for taking them years ago but they can pay for my scatterbrained sister-inlaw to go now.
I think what makes it worse is that becuase of my sudden job loss in May, we couldn't get the house loan. This not only means lots of dept goes unpaid and house repairs go undone, but we hoped to go to Disney as well.

My cold/flu thing is finally leaving. Janeen has it now, though. We'll be seeing the doctor today so hopefully this will get better.

So that's it. More later.

Potter Puppet Pals !

I love these!
By Neil Cicierega.

Harry Potter and the Dark Lord Waldemart

Lord of The Rings / Harry Potter - Return to Innocence

Nice tribute to Harry Potter and Frodo by "remembarrdeath" .

Back to the Future Theme Song

And of course, my favorette time travel movie.

A guy singing along with movie themes

Because I like to torture my one blog watcher (and the mystery watchers out there), here's a guy singing to theme songs.

Hi, I'm a Marvel...and I'm a DC. (Mac/PC Parody): FF Quickie

Another request for a partial!

So unemployed, STILL sick and enjoying my family, I haven't really worked a lot on my novel lately. The first is still finished, with revisions complete (again).

So anyway, I was pleasantly surprised to find a request for a partial in my inbox!

YES!

I'm going to stay realistic and expect a rejection, but still . . . YES!

Superfriends meets Friends

LOL!

Superman & Batman mock trailer

Saw this some time ago.

Wish it were real.

Hehehehe!

Legends of the Superheroes

Wow! I saw this when it first aired YEARS ago!

Beware! Corney meter on overload!

My new wish list.

Now I just need a job to pay for them.

Hi, I'm a Marvel...and I'm a DC: Villains Edition

More Potter previews...

Enjoy...

Time for some FF 2 trailers...

I want to add the one where Sue is on fire but I can't find it, yet.

Hi, I'm a Marvel...and I'm a DC. #7

BWAHAHAHAHAHA!

"ItsJustSomeRandomGuy" is killing me! It's so good!

Hi, I'm a Mutant...and I'm a DC.

More from "ItsJustSomeRandomGuy"

My kids have a rock band, too!

Presenting... Kirby & the Fur Paws!

Well, I feel some what better...

The rare, elusive Hasbro Marvel Legends figures (She-Hulk, Yellow Jacket and Quicksilver) arrived this morning. Then the Mephesto figure arrived this afternoon.

So that's gets me feeling really good.

I'm going to stay positive.

Crap.

Well, not only am I sick, but I just got laid off. Didn't see it coming. I was told I'm too slow at learning Archetecture.

I guess it doesn't matter that it takes me a bit to catch on. After only two months, too.

Sigh.

Sick & Tired

Thursday night Katie went to the Emergency Room. Her leg is acting up again. They re wrapped it and sent her home.

Friday we saw a doctor. He re wrapped it and sent her home. "Go see a special foot doctor next week."

Friday night she was in terrible pain, despite the meds, so we took her into Primary Children (a leading hospital). All night. "Go see a special foot doctor next week."

Saturday night her stomach was killing her. Took her back to the local Emergency Room. They gave her an IV, waited for half a bag of fluids and then sent her home.


We slept Mother's Day.

Now, today, I'm sick with the flu. I'm taking some meds and going to sleep.

Another Harry Preview!

Getting closer!

Lupin!

ET Brief look.

Novel update

I finished the rewrite of Chapter 2. It combines Chapter's 2,3 and 4, bringing the action and real story to Chapter 3 with the Mysterious Cabin.

I put the new Chapter 2 on AW and had it cut to pieces. I fixed the things others noticed and now I've sent it along with chapters 1, 3 and 4 (for story continuity) to four friends.

After I get their comments and make the desired changes, then I'll reprint and resume submissions.

I got another rejection, this one from Christopher Little's secretary. He's JKR and Darren Shan's agent.
That's OK. I feel somehow that he's not the right agent for me.

Hi, I'm a Marvel...and I'm Batman. (Marvel/DC Parody) Part 2

LOL

Ooooh boy.

Marvel/ DC (Mac/PC parody) #5.

The best one yet!

Spidey 3, I liked it. SPOILERS

Willard, don't read cause I'm spoiling it. Please forgive the misspelling.







Some people complain about the crying, some about Harry's death. Some compare it to the 90's Batman sequels. I'm sure a lot whine about the CGI.

I don't see that. I saw a great movie that was fun, resolved some plot lines effectively and at the same time was able to bring in new characters and give us time with each of them.

Last night I was caught up in the usual "new movie" euphoria and told Willard on the phone that it was the best of the three. On second thought, the first is still the best because it set the stage. This one, however, was still very fun.

Back in the 80's I read this great Marvel Two In One comic. The Thing and Sandman. In it they don't fight but instead just talk. Flint was sick of the villain bizz and the Thing talks him into giving it up. For the next several years Flint is a good guy. He was even an Avenger (for far to short a time). He gained some depth.
Then John Byrne came in and wrote Flint with the "I was just faking it" crap. Now he's a villain again. He's back to a 2D character with no strength of being.

In the movie we see that Flint has a sick daughter and that has been his motivation. In the end Spidey lets him leave after the two have a heart-to-heart. I liked that. I would hope that this turns him around in the comics, but I'm not really reading them much so I guess it wouldn't really matter to me. Would I like to see him in the sequels? Yes. Would I like to see him as a "villain"? I'd like to see another villain use Flint's daughter as a bargaining chip to get him to be part of a movie Sinister Six.
When I saw the Mummy (we're big fans here. Can't wait for next year's Mummy 3) I said "Now we're ready for Sandman". Last night as he pulled himself together I said "THIS is what I meant." The sand effects where perfect. I so want more!

I found myself going "Peter, you dope!" several times, which is what they wanted me to do. I think his relationship with Mary Jane resolved too quickly. He hit her, people! He should sit down and explain the costume to her. She's easily believe it because she loves him, deep down still trusts him and she knows Venom. Then she would understand why he did those things at her club. But then she'd chew him out about being a clueless moron and too into his press. Then things would be stronger in their relationship.
Personally, I wanted her to leave for California and for him to go it alone into the next film. Then they could fix things with Gwen and kill her (but they did the bridge thing in #1 so they would have to think of something different) or bring in the Black Cat (a must in the future). I'd want Mary Jane gone for #4 and 5 then come back in #6 to get married to Pete.

I think the black costume was introduced very well. I don't read Ultimates but I heard somewhere that a stray meteor was the explanation in those books. We couldn't have the Secret Wars so it works for the film. Conners talking Reed Richards part and explaining the symbiont's properties was well done. I'm glad Conners is getting so much screen time in these films. We HAVE to have Lizard in #4.
Venom was perfect. Topher Grace was perfect as Brock. I want more Venom and everyone knows the rule. If you don't see a body, he isn't dead. Yes, his time was too short. He needed an entire movie for his subplot, but when the symbiont / Brock / Venom was on screen, it was perfect.

OK, Harry died. Yes, that sucks, but in a "good movie making me feel for the characters" suck. It was the best resolution to the Harry plot. Here's where the "no body" rule gets waved. Mary Jane mentioned he didn't even have a scar, so that Goblin serum have him slow healing abilities. He could crawl out of his grave for good or bad if they wanted to keep Franco on in the films. BUT the Spidey comics gave us Hobgoblin. We could just introduce both Ned Leads and that Macintire bad guy, put other mysteries in there then make the audience guess (maybe not even tell them in #4)as to who the Hobgoblin is.

It would be so easy. Sony pictures said there would be three more films. This is what I want to see...
In #4 we see mystery person find the Goblin stuff and steal it. Conners becomes Lizard. Maybe even just stay with only Lizard (bring in Black Cat and lose MJ for a bit, there's enough story for 1 film). Conners gets "cured" at the end of film.
In #5 we get Electro. Meanwhile in the background Hobby blackmails Sandman. We never saw a body so both Doc Ock and Venom are brought back and "cared for" by Hobby.
In #6 Hobby brings Doc Ock, Venom, Electro, Sandman and Lizard down on Spidey. Imagine the CGI. Yum!

OK, that's my thoughts. Yours?

I'm a Marvel...and I'm a DC.

Willard showed me this great "I'm a Mac, I'm I PC" satire. Take a look.

Spidey 3 tonight!

We're going for David's birthday! Can't wait! I'll post more later.

EDIT


It was postponed till Sat night.

Revised Chapter 2

It came to me out of nowhere a few nights ago. I figured out how to take the following...

Chapter 2, intro to the setting and two major characters plus intro to three other characters

Chapter 3, intro to three more characters plus the mystery of the town.

Chapter 4, more info on main character

I discovered how to take these three boring chapters that do a lot of telling and merge them into one chapter. I hope I'm showing more than telling.

Anyway, this means stuff starts really happening in chapter 3. I put the new chapter 2 on AW for review.

Gulp!

A real Super Hero?

A real super hero? Here's the news article.

In some ways I think he might me nuts, but on the other hand at least he's doing something.

Here's his Myspace site.

There seems to be a whole lot of them.

I'm Visionary!

Adam created a quiz with his characters. I would do the same except I'm pretty busy.

Which member of Visionary's cast are you? Your Result: Visionary   You are most like Visionary: A little slow on the uptake, but a good guy and not at all fake. You might not have the flashy powers, skills or wardrobe of your peers, but you have friends, family, and the respect of.... Well, you have friends and family, at least.
Hallie
Magweed and Griffin
Kerry
Fleabot
Quoth
Mary Prankstar
Roni Y. Avis
Which member of Visionary's cast are you? Take More Quizzes

Man, I can't get enough of this show!

Rejection

Remember that request for a partial? Well I got the form rejection letter today.
Guess I need to get back in the game.
Maybe I should rewrite chapter 2-4 like I planned. Or maybe I'll just send some more queries out.

In the rejection she says she could not connect with Annabelle or Roland.
What still frustrates me is kids can connect with them, but agents are blocking/ denying them the chance.

Ah well.

UPDATE

This just occurred to me. She wanted "50 or so pages" and I emailed her, requesting I send 66 pages (cuase page 50 is in the middle of a chapter. She never replied. I bet I left a sour taste in her mouth, so to speak.

This is more reason to rewrite chapter 2 so that it covers info from chapters 2,3,4 and 5. Then chapter three will be the Mysterious Cabin. Things get better paced there.

Why did Rowling get to do two boring first chapters? I'm talking about back when she first tried.

I know, I'm whining, but I just want a chance.

Whoohoo! I'm original!

I did it for both Annabelle and Roland.

Annabelle got 18,102

Roland got 108,615.

Foresight got 0

Yes! Original!

HowManyOfMe.com

There are 0 people with my name in the U.S.A. How many have your name?

As for "Jack Roberts", my pen name...

HowManyOfMe.com

There are 729 people with my name in the U.S.A. How many have your name?

My name

HowManyOfMe.com

There are 198 people with my name in the U.S.A. How many have your name?

I knew it was popular.

Bobby "Boris" Pickett, RIP

Dang.
I actually thought he already was dead.
Well, RIP to a funny legend.

Shame they don't have Annabelle...

You scored as Dracula. You are the smooth sexy cool Dracula. Patient and lustful. If you were any cooler youd be ice. Great style with a way of seducing those around you. And three brides who wouldn't want to be him. Dracula 100% Marius 92% Armand 83% Blade 67% Louis 50% Deacon Frost 50% Spike 42% Lestat 33% Angel 33% Akasha 0% Whose your Vampire personality? (images) created with QuizFarm.com

The guy who did the quiz could learn how to spell.

I'm a wizard, Harry!

You scored as Wizard. You are a wizard. Through reading books and leanring the histoy of the mistakes in the world, you figure out a way to revamp them and figure out the answer on your own. You search for the unknown and thus is why you know how to use sparkly magic thingies! Wizard 92% Ranger 88% Cleric 58% Fighter 54% Monk 38% Bard 33% Rogue 17% Barbarian 13% What D&D class are you? created with QuizFarm.com

My Hook review on Fangs, Fur and Fey is up...

It wasn't good. I don't care about the contest because the prize was for pages to be sent to Rachael Vater, and she's already rejected my book twice.

I entered to get feed back and that's just what I got. One of the published authors who frequent the site judged my hook on whether it could grab him or her. Some things held it back.
I really do appreciate the chance so don't think I'm whining. I'm just concerned because . . . well take a look.

Hook 61

What happens when you take two happy, optimistic kids, and turn them into vampires? Ten year old Annabelle loves animals and has a strong desire to learn. She would much rather read her favorite books than explore. Her brother Roland is twelve and thinks reading is boring. He’d be happier exploring. It is the late 1600s and their family had just moved from England to the New World . Annabelle and Roland’s lives are shattered when the evil vampire Dominic kills their parents and leaves the children to die. His wife does not agree with his actions but has always been too afraid to rebel. Seeing the children’s plight, she acts on impulse and rescues them the only way she knows how, by transforming them into what she is and teaching them how to become children of the night.

Annabelle and Roland learn how to turn into bats and wolves. They struggle to control their cravings while mastering their vampiric abilities. Annabelle and her brother befriend the Mohegan Indians, free a witch from the Salem jail, hide from a ruthless vampire hunter and struggle to keep their existence as vampires a secret in their colonial town. They grow from inexperienced young children to confident teenagers while facing Dominic’s wicked servants. Each vampire, witch and werewolf that tries to kill them is tougher than the last until finally, after years of apprehension mixed with fear, they confront the master vampire who slaughtered their parents. Future uncertain, the teen vampires must try and stop Dominic before he destroys everything they hold dear.

Notes—My first thought to your opening question was “Happy vampires?” This could be fun, though—you’ve put young adult vampires into a time we don’t read too much about. I was a little concerned Dominic turned the kids at such a young age, and wondered if it couldn't’t have happened to them when they older? Older kids might be better able to survive/blend in—just a thought. As for the description of the two kids—can you dig a little deeper than simply giving them the opposite interests? Also, their interests don’t come into play in your synopsis—perhaps they do in the text, but since you make a point of telling me Annabelle likes to read, I thought that might come up later on.
I also wondered about the available books in this time—not light reading for a ten year old. As for the rest, it seems episodic—attack after attack—each stronger than the last. Why is Dominic sending creatures to kill them? And I don’t get a sense of what they “hold dear”. Are their friends in peril? Again, my first thoughts were that this could be fun—the setting is unique, but I need to see a story arc.

---

OK, me again. I noticed that she/he didn't see that it was Eliza who turned the kids. At first I thought I didn't clarify that well, but there it is in the first paragraph.
I'm concerned though. She/he mentions that the kids should be older. Aprilynne said the same thing. Do I loose the happy little bats and children learning to be young vamps? The kids at the school loved those things. I really believe in my gut it should stay that way.
Also, in my query/hook I mentioned the ageing of the children at the middle of the book. The guys at Absolute Write told me that detracted from the hook. Now I see where it would help. It's a major part of the book, watching these young kids change into teens overnight. It relates with the same growing pain problems pre-teens go through all over the world. I want to mention it but how?

In the book I cover how Annabelle could have gotten a hold of books
during those days. Her father was a bookbinder. Maybe I should mention that?

Episodic. That's what Adam said after reading the book. Maybe it is. Maybe it wont sell because of that. How can I fix this? Should I throw the book away and rewrite?

Here's what someone else said in the responses...

lnhammer on April 25th, 2007 12:10 am (UTC)
I'm very intrigued by #61, but with reservations. It's that each opponent is tougher than the last thing -- like a sorting algorithm of evil. Rather than training them up, why wasn't a tough enough minion sent to take care of things first time through? It makes the plot sound very by-the-numbers.


Ouch! Very true.
Man, it feels like I almost have it. It's like my goal is just outside of my reach.

This, combined with my fear for Janeen's present physical health and mental welfare, has made my mood deeply concerned and very unrested.

Krypton?

This is cool.

Wish it was posible for scientists to go there.

Another new trailer for Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix!

Oh man!

YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!

Newest Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix preview!

Oh man! I'm going insane here!

Here is the Leaky Caulron page...

Great site for Harry News!