Got a rejection from the agent I was hoping for.
"Thanks for giving me a look, but I'll pass on Anabelle and Roland. I still like the idea, but your prose feels too static. Try reading your work out loud to establish flow."
I thought it WAS moving? Maybe chapter 2 is still killing me. I rewrote it, changed it and shrunk it. If I do too much I won't be able to give the necessary info.
Sigh.
I'll reread through it aloud, but I'm losing hope.
Monday, July 30, 2007
Monday, July 23, 2007
All Good things… my review of the last Potter; Spoilers Plenty!
Whew! What a ride!
I started interest in the Potterverse in ’01. The movie was coming out (as was Lord of the Rings) and I wanted to read the book so I could properly judge the film before I saw it.
I picked up the first Harry Potter and couldn’t put it down. I had checked it out from the local library, devoured it on the bus to work, at lunch, before and after work. I could not get enough. I then picked up the second, third and finally the fourth. I remember when I finished the first book at 9 pm. My wife was asleep at the house was very quiet. I can still feel the quiet, peaceful urge to just slip back in to that wonderful universe.
By the time I got in line for the first movie I had become a Potter nut. I was so excited to see so much from the new book I loved on the screen. I enjoyed each movie as they came out (and will do the same for the last two). I lamented the stuff that was cut and enjoyed the stuff that we did see.
When the fifth book came out I heard of the 12:00 lines but I blew them off. I went in the next day and to my horror it was sold out at the local Wal Mart. We searched in the city and found one copy at a Wal Mart in there. I remember taking the book home and reading it to the kids. I couldn’t finish the reading because they all drifted off. My eldest doesn’t like reading and lost interest. She’d rather see the movies. My other kids got distracted. I still remember using different voices for the characters. This is why movie five was so surreal to me.
When book six came out I was wiser. I arrived at Wal Mart an hour ahead. The kids came along cause it’s fun to go to the store at midnight. We got the book and brought it home. They didn’t want me to read it, but they did want spoilers. During the same week it came out, my little David needed his next plastic surgery. My wife and I stayed at the hospital the three days he was there. I had plenty of time to read it. I remember watching Dumbledore dying while reading in one of the hospital bathrooms at 1 am.
As some of you know, I was writing my first book at this time and made the stupid mistake of comparing my rough draft to JKR’s 6th book. Dumb. But thanks to several people, I woke up, took a good look and fixed things.
I have no bad comparison feelings this time. JKR is JKR and I am me. Several have expressed a desire to see more of my world and I firmly believe in the work. If anything, reading book 7 just gets me more excited to continue the good fight.
Wow, I’m long winded. Sorry. It’s just that the Potterverse has formed a strong place in my heart. It’s hard to see it go but all good things have to end. If they don’t then they grow stale or get convoluted (like Marvel and DC have done).
My thoughts on book 7?
First off, it began strong. In one of the few times in the entire series, we start from a different perspective than Harry. Nice, strong beginning with a look in on the bad guys. Then we finish the Dursleys. What a strong start! There was humor and drama. I was at a loss and had to reread Hedwig’s death to make sure I read it right. She made us think Hagrid was dead and that had me on my seat. The loss of George’s ear was shocking and their ability to land on their feet was a good show.
Things continued very well. I loved Ginny’s birthday present to Harry and Ron’s clear affection to Hermione. I was shocked at Moody’s death and bewildered that “Year Seven at Hogwarts” wasn’t at Hogwarts. Then, when the trio are doing nothing and suffering the evil of the Ring (I mean the necklace), I was turning sour. It seemed to drag.
But then it was a trip to the Malfoys and it picked up very fast. I couldn’t put it down! Dobby’s stuff got to me, the Vault stuff was fun and the revelations about Dumbledore and his brother was enlightening.
I really enjoyed how many revelations came one after the other. Each big reveal scene was spaced between plenty of action scenes and lots of old friends returning.
The Battle of Hogwarts (so many came back! Fred, Lupin, Tonks and Colen Creevy all died! No! Not one of the twins!), Hermione and Ron finally hooking up (BOUT FLIPPIN TIME!), the reveal of Snape (I knew it!) and finally to discover that Harry was in fact the seventh horcrux (just as Emerson of Mugglenet predicted).
When it was discovered that Harry had to die I suspected (since the Dumbledore in the Pensieve closed his eyes) that there was more to the story, but I still felt like “Feh. Ok. Whatever. He’s had a life time of pain but… feh.” It was nice (and another confirmation to my predictions) when we saw Harry’s parents, Lupin and Sirius again. That links into that line from Luna (things we lose have a funny way of turning up).
But my suspicions were correct. Harry wouldn’t die! And what a bang up, smash up final! I was wrong. Nevil didn’t give his life. I liked his heroic moments far better.
They CAN’T cut anything from the battle for the movie. Cut out most of the wandering trio, just not the battle.
I figured the Epilogue would be with the older Harry & Ginny Potter, Ron & Hermione Weasley and all the kids. Perfect.
So Harry was born in 1980, the books took place from 1991-1997, and the “19 years later” epilouge took place last year. That means this year is Albus Severus Potter and Rose Weasley’s second year at Hogwarts. I can hear the fan fic keyboards typing already.
A fitting end to a wonder experience. It is my fondest wish, dream and life goal to bring that much joy to people in the future.
“Good Ol’ JK!” Thanks!
I started interest in the Potterverse in ’01. The movie was coming out (as was Lord of the Rings) and I wanted to read the book so I could properly judge the film before I saw it.
I picked up the first Harry Potter and couldn’t put it down. I had checked it out from the local library, devoured it on the bus to work, at lunch, before and after work. I could not get enough. I then picked up the second, third and finally the fourth. I remember when I finished the first book at 9 pm. My wife was asleep at the house was very quiet. I can still feel the quiet, peaceful urge to just slip back in to that wonderful universe.
By the time I got in line for the first movie I had become a Potter nut. I was so excited to see so much from the new book I loved on the screen. I enjoyed each movie as they came out (and will do the same for the last two). I lamented the stuff that was cut and enjoyed the stuff that we did see.
When the fifth book came out I heard of the 12:00 lines but I blew them off. I went in the next day and to my horror it was sold out at the local Wal Mart. We searched in the city and found one copy at a Wal Mart in there. I remember taking the book home and reading it to the kids. I couldn’t finish the reading because they all drifted off. My eldest doesn’t like reading and lost interest. She’d rather see the movies. My other kids got distracted. I still remember using different voices for the characters. This is why movie five was so surreal to me.
When book six came out I was wiser. I arrived at Wal Mart an hour ahead. The kids came along cause it’s fun to go to the store at midnight. We got the book and brought it home. They didn’t want me to read it, but they did want spoilers. During the same week it came out, my little David needed his next plastic surgery. My wife and I stayed at the hospital the three days he was there. I had plenty of time to read it. I remember watching Dumbledore dying while reading in one of the hospital bathrooms at 1 am.
As some of you know, I was writing my first book at this time and made the stupid mistake of comparing my rough draft to JKR’s 6th book. Dumb. But thanks to several people, I woke up, took a good look and fixed things.
I have no bad comparison feelings this time. JKR is JKR and I am me. Several have expressed a desire to see more of my world and I firmly believe in the work. If anything, reading book 7 just gets me more excited to continue the good fight.
Wow, I’m long winded. Sorry. It’s just that the Potterverse has formed a strong place in my heart. It’s hard to see it go but all good things have to end. If they don’t then they grow stale or get convoluted (like Marvel and DC have done).
My thoughts on book 7?
First off, it began strong. In one of the few times in the entire series, we start from a different perspective than Harry. Nice, strong beginning with a look in on the bad guys. Then we finish the Dursleys. What a strong start! There was humor and drama. I was at a loss and had to reread Hedwig’s death to make sure I read it right. She made us think Hagrid was dead and that had me on my seat. The loss of George’s ear was shocking and their ability to land on their feet was a good show.
Things continued very well. I loved Ginny’s birthday present to Harry and Ron’s clear affection to Hermione. I was shocked at Moody’s death and bewildered that “Year Seven at Hogwarts” wasn’t at Hogwarts. Then, when the trio are doing nothing and suffering the evil of the Ring (I mean the necklace), I was turning sour. It seemed to drag.
But then it was a trip to the Malfoys and it picked up very fast. I couldn’t put it down! Dobby’s stuff got to me, the Vault stuff was fun and the revelations about Dumbledore and his brother was enlightening.
I really enjoyed how many revelations came one after the other. Each big reveal scene was spaced between plenty of action scenes and lots of old friends returning.
The Battle of Hogwarts (so many came back! Fred, Lupin, Tonks and Colen Creevy all died! No! Not one of the twins!), Hermione and Ron finally hooking up (BOUT FLIPPIN TIME!), the reveal of Snape (I knew it!) and finally to discover that Harry was in fact the seventh horcrux (just as Emerson of Mugglenet predicted).
When it was discovered that Harry had to die I suspected (since the Dumbledore in the Pensieve closed his eyes) that there was more to the story, but I still felt like “Feh. Ok. Whatever. He’s had a life time of pain but… feh.” It was nice (and another confirmation to my predictions) when we saw Harry’s parents, Lupin and Sirius again. That links into that line from Luna (things we lose have a funny way of turning up).
But my suspicions were correct. Harry wouldn’t die! And what a bang up, smash up final! I was wrong. Nevil didn’t give his life. I liked his heroic moments far better.
They CAN’T cut anything from the battle for the movie. Cut out most of the wandering trio, just not the battle.
I figured the Epilogue would be with the older Harry & Ginny Potter, Ron & Hermione Weasley and all the kids. Perfect.
So Harry was born in 1980, the books took place from 1991-1997, and the “19 years later” epilouge took place last year. That means this year is Albus Severus Potter and Rose Weasley’s second year at Hogwarts. I can hear the fan fic keyboards typing already.
A fitting end to a wonder experience. It is my fondest wish, dream and life goal to bring that much joy to people in the future.
“Good Ol’ JK!” Thanks!
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
Saturday, July 14, 2007
Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson and Rupert Grint on Moviephone
I LOVE the interview that Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson and Rupert Grint gave each other on Moviephone.
The best part is when Rupert and Emaa talk about kissing and the laughter that comes out.
Here it is...
The best part is when Rupert and Emaa talk about kissing and the laughter that comes out.
Here it is...
My thoughts on Harry Potter & the Order of the Phoenix SPOILERS
1st off, it was surreal to sit there, waiting for a film that it feels like just yesterday I was reading the first half to the kids. Wow.
I really liked it. Let's get into what was cut and was missed...
From the book that was removed or changed)
The constant owls and letters at the Dursleys (including the howler for Aunt Petunia, the time alone with Tonks as Harry packed (we get the feeling of what Harry might want to be an Auror from that part), Lupin showed up at the Dursleys too, Ginny chewing out Harry, most of the O.W.L. stuff, Dobby showing Harry the room, the Twins saying they used it before, the hospital stuff including the return of Lockhart and the tear jerking scene with Nevel and his parents, the time on the Hogwarts express with Luna Ginny and Nevel, the quittich with Ron, Arther Weasley's office, Hermonie and Ron as Prefects, the sacking of Hagrid where McGonnigal is hurt (but I've seen her looking 'hurt' in some pics so that may be a deleted scene), Trelauney's centaur replacement, Ginny and co guarding Umbridge's door (but when they brought in Nevel it looked like that was missing, it was choppy so maybe another deleted scene?) and any mention of the Bat Bogey hex.
There were other things too.
And what do I say about that? Who cares?
I really liked it. I mean they had Fred & George's products, Ginny showing how powerful she is and foreshadowing her feeling about Harry next film, the twins exit, Snape's lessons, Kreature, the battle at the end...
So many good parts. I really like how they did the movie. They were able to cover all the important parts and keep the series on track.
It's interesting how, at the end, they reshaped Luna and Harry's conversation to make you hope that Serius could come back. I really wonder if JK wanted them to set it up that way on purpose. I can't quote it, but the wording just struck me.
I was worried that having Rom meet Gwarp would be a problem, but he made the scene even better. I liked how he tried to defend Hermonie.
It was cool seeing scenes from movies 1,3 and 4 in Harry's mind. Snape's worst memory was in his head instead of the pensive, but that's ok.
The battle between Voldie and Dumbledore took my breathe away. And seeing the order in action was nice, too.
Beatrix was wonderful. So was Umbridge. Trelauny was great, too.
I'm still under 'after movie glow' but I think this has been my favorite movie this year with Even Almighty as second, then Spidey 3 followed by FF2 and Pirates in last place. But that's my opinion at the moment.
Good stuff.
Now, it's time for the main event, BOOK SEVEN!
I really liked it. Let's get into what was cut and was missed...
From the book that was removed or changed)
The constant owls and letters at the Dursleys (including the howler for Aunt Petunia, the time alone with Tonks as Harry packed (we get the feeling of what Harry might want to be an Auror from that part), Lupin showed up at the Dursleys too, Ginny chewing out Harry, most of the O.W.L. stuff, Dobby showing Harry the room, the Twins saying they used it before, the hospital stuff including the return of Lockhart and the tear jerking scene with Nevel and his parents, the time on the Hogwarts express with Luna Ginny and Nevel, the quittich with Ron, Arther Weasley's office, Hermonie and Ron as Prefects, the sacking of Hagrid where McGonnigal is hurt (but I've seen her looking 'hurt' in some pics so that may be a deleted scene), Trelauney's centaur replacement, Ginny and co guarding Umbridge's door (but when they brought in Nevel it looked like that was missing, it was choppy so maybe another deleted scene?) and any mention of the Bat Bogey hex.
There were other things too.
And what do I say about that? Who cares?
I really liked it. I mean they had Fred & George's products, Ginny showing how powerful she is and foreshadowing her feeling about Harry next film, the twins exit, Snape's lessons, Kreature, the battle at the end...
So many good parts. I really like how they did the movie. They were able to cover all the important parts and keep the series on track.
It's interesting how, at the end, they reshaped Luna and Harry's conversation to make you hope that Serius could come back. I really wonder if JK wanted them to set it up that way on purpose. I can't quote it, but the wording just struck me.
I was worried that having Rom meet Gwarp would be a problem, but he made the scene even better. I liked how he tried to defend Hermonie.
It was cool seeing scenes from movies 1,3 and 4 in Harry's mind. Snape's worst memory was in his head instead of the pensive, but that's ok.
The battle between Voldie and Dumbledore took my breathe away. And seeing the order in action was nice, too.
Beatrix was wonderful. So was Umbridge. Trelauny was great, too.
I'm still under 'after movie glow' but I think this has been my favorite movie this year with Even Almighty as second, then Spidey 3 followed by FF2 and Pirates in last place. But that's my opinion at the moment.
Good stuff.
Now, it's time for the main event, BOOK SEVEN!
Friday, July 13, 2007
Lost net & phone service
Last night I discovered that our internet and phone was turned off. We're hoping to get it back today. If not, then I may not be online (except from work, where I can't do as much) till late next week.
We'll have to see.
*Crosses fingers*
We'll have to see.
*Crosses fingers*
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
Got my Potter tickets!
We're going to watch it at noon on Saturday. I know, I know, you'd think a Potter nut like me would see it tonight.
I'm more of a family man and I'd rather see it with my family. Also, I need to be up at 4:15 am for work tomorrow.
Anyway, I've very excited. Also, there is a big Potter Party at Wal Mart the night the book is released (12:01 am Sat. It starts at 7:30 pm Friday.
So fun all around. :)
I'm more of a family man and I'd rather see it with my family. Also, I need to be up at 4:15 am for work tomorrow.
Anyway, I've very excited. Also, there is a big Potter Party at Wal Mart the night the book is released (12:01 am Sat. It starts at 7:30 pm Friday.
So fun all around. :)
Saturday, July 07, 2007
Thursday, July 05, 2007
Finally figured an ending!
I did it.
I solved the mystery. I figured out how book 2 ends. It will be great! Now to edit 1/2 the book and write the other half.
I also cleaned up the outline to book 3.
I'm so filled with a writing fever!
I solved the mystery. I figured out how book 2 ends. It will be great! Now to edit 1/2 the book and write the other half.
I also cleaned up the outline to book 3.
I'm so filled with a writing fever!
Monday, July 02, 2007
1st day at work
I'm terrified it will be like the others. Man, I hope I can keep this job.
Wish me luck!
Wish me luck!
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
Friday, June 22, 2007
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
More Chad Vaders
I'm way behind in my postings of Blame Society's 'Chad Vader'.
Here is parts 7 and 8.
Here is parts 7 and 8.
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
Saturday, June 16, 2007
Explanation of Amazing Boy
Below is a story I posted on the Parodyverse. I've been writing story little stories for the board, trying to tie up old plot threads, or in this case, create new stories.
I posted it here because unlike my usual PV stuff, I'm trying to write this series better.
Anyway, I thought I'd add it here.
I posted it here because unlike my usual PV stuff, I'm trying to write this series better.
Anyway, I thought I'd add it here.
Amazing Boy #1, Beginnings
Bonnyville, Utah had always been a quiet community. It was November 2003, and practically the entire town had come out for the Winter Festival. Various rides were set up for the townspeople’s enjoyment.
Eight year old Adam Taylor had just finished riding the Spinning Tops for the fifth time. His best friend, Tommy Dewstorm, was starting to turn green.
“No more, Adam. Let’s try something else.”
Adam laughed. “Alright. You never could do a sixer.”
“It’s not my fault I have a weak stomach. Let’s try some of the carnival games. My dad gave me some money. Let’s see if we can win something.”
“Alright.”
The boys walked over to the darts booth. A brutish looking seventeen-year-old boy was put in charge of the booth. His bored girlfriend was leaning against the booth. She seemed really upset at him.
“Hey, can we have some darts?” Tommy asked.
“B ut Jill, you’re wrong. I can change. Just give me a chance.”
“I’ve had it with you, Barney. You go around, bullying kids and laughing at it. I caught you flirting with Mary Fiffertree this morning. Enough is enough!”
“Aw, Mary just wanted to pop some balloons!”
“You kept staring at her ‘balloons’!”
Barney handed the boys three darts each and then continued to plea for his relationship. “I was not! Look, there’s something special about me. I can show you!”
Adam felt his stomach turn slightly upside-down.
“Are you ok?” His friend asked
“Yeah, I don’t know what’s wrong. I’ve never felt this way before. Let’s just play.” He threw his first dart but it seemed to hit the clear air and then fall to the ground.
“You gotta throw it harder, kid.” Barney turned to Mary and said, “Watch the space in front of the balloons. Watch!”
Adam tried his other two darts but each one did the same as the last.
“Haw! Next time throw ‘em harder.”
“I did throw them hard!”
“Here, it’s my turn.” Tommy pulled back his arm and tried but his first dart also seemed to bounce off thin air.
“See? It’s a trick, huh?”
“Naw. You’re just a couple of weaklings.”
Mary sniffed and turned to walk away. Barney called to her. “No! Wait! Didn’t you see?”
“All I saw was you teasing those boys!”
“No. I . . . well, ok. I was teasing them, but look!”
She continued to walk a step further. Then she stopped abruptly as her face hit an unseen wall. “What is this?” she asked as she felt the solid air. When she turned around her eyes flew open with horror.
Barney was concentrating on the invisible wall. His face turned up to an evil smile. “See? I’m doing it! See how cool I am? I can create force fields! Now you’ll keep going out with me.”
Mary screamed. Several people looked over. “You’re a freak! Stay away! HELP! HE’S A FREAK AND HE’S GOING TO KILL ME!”
“No! Mary, I just wanted to . . .”
Adam grabbed Tommy’s hand and started to pull him away. He pulled them towards the Fun House.
Enraged, Barney started to point at various things. His invisible force fields pushed things around while at the same time, he held the screaming Mary in a tight invisible grip. “No! You will love me! I’ll show you! I’ll take apart the whole festival with my abilities!”
Wind whipped up the fairgrounds. Adam and Tommy had continued to make a bee-line for the fun house when something started to push them down.
“Look! It’s the Lair Legion!” The wind had been caused by a Lair Jet. The archer Trickshot hopped out and started to fire a volley of arrows.
“Come on, kid. Stand down.”
“No!” Each arrow was blocked.
When two more Legionaries hopped out of the Jet, Adam felt excited to see more of his heroes coming to the rescue. At the same time he felt a little sick.
“Lucky we were flying over.” Goldeneyed said to his teammates.
Tommy announced them to Adam. “Ziles! Goldeneyed! Now you’re in trouble! Adam? What?”
Adam had begun to pull Tommy into the fun house. “We’ve got to get cover!”
When Adam looked into the fun house (and away from Tommy whom was looking back even as he was getting pulled), Adam’s eyes glowed yellow. He was not even aware of it. All he knew was that they were a foot or so closer to the fun house entrance.
As soon as they had gotten inside, Adam turned around. Goldeneyed has teleported a roller coaster car above Barney, but the boy pushed it randomly away. It was heading towards the entrance of the fun house. Instinctively Adam held up his arms. An invisible force field blocked the car.
“Whoa! We’re lucky it fell short!” Tommy said. Adam was not so sure.
“Come on. Let’s go deeper in.”
As Adam led his best friend inside he looked at the crazy mirrors. He concentrated hard and an invisible force field pushed the mirror over. It shattered, causing both boys to jump.
“Maybe it’s contagious?”
“What?” Tommy asked.
“Oh, nothing. I was talking about the mirror. Maybe the battle outside caused it to top over?”
Suddenly, several mirrors joined the other one as the fun house shook. It lifted up into the air. The boys fell to the wooded floor. Barney’s voice could be heard outside. “LEVE ME ALONE OR I’LL DROP IT ON THE CROWD!”
“Jeeze! Calm down, kid!”
“Ziles, anyone inside the fun house?”
“I’ll check, Bry.”
Adam moaned. A headache filled his brain as the sound of stereo feedback filled his thoughts. Outside, Ziles could be heard giving off a soft moan.
“Everything all right?”
“Yes. There are two boys inside. Here. I’ll get them.” Adam could see it in his mind. Ziles had run to the Ferris wheel, leapt onto the seats and continued to make her way up. She then leapt to the hovering fun house and went inside. He was shocked when she had entered the curtain flap. Adam wondered how he could have seen it in his mind.
Stereo feedback filled his mind, but he could hear Ziles in his head. She was looking at him as she knelt down to where the boys were hiding. Her lips were not moving. “I’m a telepath, child. So are you. You can hear people’s thoughts if you concentrate on them.”
She said aloud, “Come, boys. Follow me and Goldeneyed will teleport us safely to the ground.”
As the boys followed her, Adam thought to Ziles, “Please don’t tell anyone the things I can do.”
She looked deep into his eyes. “Alright. It’ll be our secret.”
When she held the boys at the edge of the fun house opening, Goldeneyed looked up. His eyes flashed yellow and then they found that they where safe on the ground.
“Oh sweet earth!” Tommy knelt down and started to kiss the ground.
Barney collapsed as a arrow zipped around him. It was giving out a strange gas.
“Sleep-Gas Arrow does it every time.”
That night found Adam in the bathroom, brushing his teeth. He was lost in thought as he looked in the mirror.
“I created a see-through thing, just like that kid they took away. It knocked over that mirror. I also read that hero lady’s thoughts. I don’t know how I did either but somehow I did.”
Something brought Adam out of his thoughts. His reflection started to disappear. Before he realized what had happened, his reflection was gone. All that remained was his toothbrush, hanging in the air. He looked down to see that his own body was invisible.
“GAHH!”
He fell backwards onto the floor.
“Adam?” called his mother from downstairs. “Are you all right?”
His body was visible again. “Yeah, mom. I’m ok.”
As thoughts of what he had just done passed through his mind, he remembered Barney and Mary. He pictured how scared she was of him.
“Whatever I just did, I hope it doesn’t happen again. I don’t want everyone thinking I’m a freak, too.”
Welcome to my newest character, Adam Taylor. We’re going to cover his story slowly. I’ve got lots of other stories to get finished, too.
For this story, I’m going to try and write it better than the usual PV story. The parts will be short, but I’ll work harder on them. There still won’t be a lot of editing. What I mean is, the first draft is what you’ll see, so it’s not perfect.
But it’s fresh.
Anyway, more to come as we see Adam’s story unfold through the years until we see him nowadays.
Footnotes:
This story takes place sometime around #129: Untold Tales of the Lair Legion: Aftermath, or Sixteen Sub-Plots Looking For a Home
Ben Stiller does Bono doing "Lucky Clovers".
I remember this when it first aired. Ben Stiller does Bono doing "Lucky Clovers". It's pretty funny.
Here it is.
"jasonroxdammit" doesn't want it shared, so you'll have to go to the link.
Here it is.
"jasonroxdammit" doesn't want it shared, so you'll have to go to the link.
Friday, June 15, 2007
Caption the Pic… Fantastic Four II Tribute
Well, I saw FF II. I liked it better than Pirates 3 but not as much as Spidey III. I won't go into why becuase this is a spoiler free zone.
I DID like it, though.
Anyway, on to CTP. Last week's were captioned by; Visionary, Dan W, Gernot, japester, gonzo, HH, Wheelchair Rocker, BumblebeeZ3, j, Manga Shoggoth, Soul, Matty, Spackling Compound, Avian, Dr. Octagon, Greg the Bunny, Emerje, omike015, Red and Brainlock.
Thanks guys!
Here’s the caption site.
Don't forget to check out the RAVING TOY MANIAC Board to see the other captions posted for today's pic.
And don't forget to check out the TALES OF THE PARODYVERSE Board to see more captions posted for today's pic. Here's the link...
No obscene captions please, kids are reading. :)
Here's this one, have fun.
Thursday, June 14, 2007
TORN by Johann Lippowitz
This starts out a little dirty, but it gets funnier. I got an email back when I worked at Envirocare with this in it. Now, every time I hear this song, I think of this.
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
How it should have ended
These are great. The guys at how it should have ended.com have done a number of fun ones. Here are my favorites.
Superman
Lord of the Rings
Willy Wonka
Star Wars Episode IV
Pirates of the Caribbean; Dead Man's Chest
Braveheart
It's a Wonderful Life
And my favorite of their bits,
How to Survive an Alien Attack
Superman
Lord of the Rings
Willy Wonka
Star Wars Episode IV
Pirates of the Caribbean; Dead Man's Chest
Braveheart
It's a Wonderful Life
And my favorite of their bits,
How to Survive an Alien Attack
My late thoughts on Ghost Rider.
I really liked it. So did Janeen and the kids. Very good movie. I need to own it. Good story, good acting and good special effects.
Give us a sequel.
Give us a sequel.
Normal days
Nothing to report.
I'm writing again. I've been getting some of the Parodyverse stories out of my brain and online. I just posted one yesterday. I hope to continue BIC (butt in chair) and write more. While I'm home there is a lot of writing to be had.
That request is still out. I'm hopefull and realistic at the same time. I am not depressed. Who knows, right?
I got another job option today. Hopefully one of these will work out. The bills or wolves are at the door.
My in-laws are still in Disneyland. It pisses off my wife and I don't blame her. They never paid us back for taking them years ago but they can pay for my scatterbrained sister-inlaw to go now.
I think what makes it worse is that becuase of my sudden job loss in May, we couldn't get the house loan. This not only means lots of dept goes unpaid and house repairs go undone, but we hoped to go to Disney as well.
My cold/flu thing is finally leaving. Janeen has it now, though. We'll be seeing the doctor today so hopefully this will get better.
So that's it. More later.
I'm writing again. I've been getting some of the Parodyverse stories out of my brain and online. I just posted one yesterday. I hope to continue BIC (butt in chair) and write more. While I'm home there is a lot of writing to be had.
That request is still out. I'm hopefull and realistic at the same time. I am not depressed. Who knows, right?
I got another job option today. Hopefully one of these will work out. The bills or wolves are at the door.
My in-laws are still in Disneyland. It pisses off my wife and I don't blame her. They never paid us back for taking them years ago but they can pay for my scatterbrained sister-inlaw to go now.
I think what makes it worse is that becuase of my sudden job loss in May, we couldn't get the house loan. This not only means lots of dept goes unpaid and house repairs go undone, but we hoped to go to Disney as well.
My cold/flu thing is finally leaving. Janeen has it now, though. We'll be seeing the doctor today so hopefully this will get better.
So that's it. More later.
Sunday, June 10, 2007
Lord of The Rings / Harry Potter - Return to Innocence
Nice tribute to Harry Potter and Frodo by "remembarrdeath" .
Saturday, June 09, 2007
A guy singing along with movie themes
Because I like to torture my one blog watcher (and the mystery watchers out there), here's a guy singing to theme songs.
Friday, June 08, 2007
Another request for a partial!
So unemployed, STILL sick and enjoying my family, I haven't really worked a lot on my novel lately. The first is still finished, with revisions complete (again).
So anyway, I was pleasantly surprised to find a request for a partial in my inbox!
YES!
I'm going to stay realistic and expect a rejection, but still . . . YES!
So anyway, I was pleasantly surprised to find a request for a partial in my inbox!
YES!
I'm going to stay realistic and expect a rejection, but still . . . YES!
Wednesday, June 06, 2007
Monday, June 04, 2007
Saturday, June 02, 2007
Legends of the Superheroes
Wow! I saw this when it first aired YEARS ago!
Beware! Corney meter on overload!
Beware! Corney meter on overload!
Thursday, May 31, 2007
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
Saturday, May 19, 2007
Thursday, May 17, 2007
Hi, I'm a Marvel...and I'm a DC. #7
BWAHAHAHAHAHA!
"ItsJustSomeRandomGuy" is killing me! It's so good!
"ItsJustSomeRandomGuy" is killing me! It's so good!
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
Well, I feel some what better...
The rare, elusive Hasbro Marvel Legends figures (She-Hulk, Yellow Jacket and Quicksilver) arrived this morning. Then the Mephesto figure arrived this afternoon.
So that's gets me feeling really good.
I'm going to stay positive.
So that's gets me feeling really good.
I'm going to stay positive.
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
Crap.
Well, not only am I sick, but I just got laid off. Didn't see it coming. I was told I'm too slow at learning Archetecture.
I guess it doesn't matter that it takes me a bit to catch on. After only two months, too.
Sigh.
I guess it doesn't matter that it takes me a bit to catch on. After only two months, too.
Sigh.
Monday, May 14, 2007
Sick & Tired
Thursday night Katie went to the Emergency Room. Her leg is acting up again. They re wrapped it and sent her home.
Friday we saw a doctor. He re wrapped it and sent her home. "Go see a special foot doctor next week."
Friday night she was in terrible pain, despite the meds, so we took her into Primary Children (a leading hospital). All night. "Go see a special foot doctor next week."
Saturday night her stomach was killing her. Took her back to the local Emergency Room. They gave her an IV, waited for half a bag of fluids and then sent her home.
We slept Mother's Day.
Now, today, I'm sick with the flu. I'm taking some meds and going to sleep.
Friday we saw a doctor. He re wrapped it and sent her home. "Go see a special foot doctor next week."
Friday night she was in terrible pain, despite the meds, so we took her into Primary Children (a leading hospital). All night. "Go see a special foot doctor next week."
Saturday night her stomach was killing her. Took her back to the local Emergency Room. They gave her an IV, waited for half a bag of fluids and then sent her home.
We slept Mother's Day.
Now, today, I'm sick with the flu. I'm taking some meds and going to sleep.
Wednesday, May 09, 2007
Novel update
I finished the rewrite of Chapter 2. It combines Chapter's 2,3 and 4, bringing the action and real story to Chapter 3 with the Mysterious Cabin.
I put the new Chapter 2 on AW and had it cut to pieces. I fixed the things others noticed and now I've sent it along with chapters 1, 3 and 4 (for story continuity) to four friends.
After I get their comments and make the desired changes, then I'll reprint and resume submissions.
I got another rejection, this one from Christopher Little's secretary. He's JKR and Darren Shan's agent.
That's OK. I feel somehow that he's not the right agent for me.
I put the new Chapter 2 on AW and had it cut to pieces. I fixed the things others noticed and now I've sent it along with chapters 1, 3 and 4 (for story continuity) to four friends.
After I get their comments and make the desired changes, then I'll reprint and resume submissions.
I got another rejection, this one from Christopher Little's secretary. He's JKR and Darren Shan's agent.
That's OK. I feel somehow that he's not the right agent for me.
Sunday, May 06, 2007
Spidey 3, I liked it. SPOILERS
Willard, don't read cause I'm spoiling it. Please forgive the misspelling.
Some people complain about the crying, some about Harry's death. Some compare it to the 90's Batman sequels. I'm sure a lot whine about the CGI.
I don't see that. I saw a great movie that was fun, resolved some plot lines effectively and at the same time was able to bring in new characters and give us time with each of them.
Last night I was caught up in the usual "new movie" euphoria and told Willard on the phone that it was the best of the three. On second thought, the first is still the best because it set the stage. This one, however, was still very fun.
Back in the 80's I read this great Marvel Two In One comic. The Thing and Sandman. In it they don't fight but instead just talk. Flint was sick of the villain bizz and the Thing talks him into giving it up. For the next several years Flint is a good guy. He was even an Avenger (for far to short a time). He gained some depth.
Then John Byrne came in and wrote Flint with the "I was just faking it" crap. Now he's a villain again. He's back to a 2D character with no strength of being.
In the movie we see that Flint has a sick daughter and that has been his motivation. In the end Spidey lets him leave after the two have a heart-to-heart. I liked that. I would hope that this turns him around in the comics, but I'm not really reading them much so I guess it wouldn't really matter to me. Would I like to see him in the sequels? Yes. Would I like to see him as a "villain"? I'd like to see another villain use Flint's daughter as a bargaining chip to get him to be part of a movie Sinister Six.
When I saw the Mummy (we're big fans here. Can't wait for next year's Mummy 3) I said "Now we're ready for Sandman". Last night as he pulled himself together I said "THIS is what I meant." The sand effects where perfect. I so want more!
I found myself going "Peter, you dope!" several times, which is what they wanted me to do. I think his relationship with Mary Jane resolved too quickly. He hit her, people! He should sit down and explain the costume to her. She's easily believe it because she loves him, deep down still trusts him and she knows Venom. Then she would understand why he did those things at her club. But then she'd chew him out about being a clueless moron and too into his press. Then things would be stronger in their relationship.
Personally, I wanted her to leave for California and for him to go it alone into the next film. Then they could fix things with Gwen and kill her (but they did the bridge thing in #1 so they would have to think of something different) or bring in the Black Cat (a must in the future). I'd want Mary Jane gone for #4 and 5 then come back in #6 to get married to Pete.
I think the black costume was introduced very well. I don't read Ultimates but I heard somewhere that a stray meteor was the explanation in those books. We couldn't have the Secret Wars so it works for the film. Conners talking Reed Richards part and explaining the symbiont's properties was well done. I'm glad Conners is getting so much screen time in these films. We HAVE to have Lizard in #4.
Venom was perfect. Topher Grace was perfect as Brock. I want more Venom and everyone knows the rule. If you don't see a body, he isn't dead. Yes, his time was too short. He needed an entire movie for his subplot, but when the symbiont / Brock / Venom was on screen, it was perfect.
OK, Harry died. Yes, that sucks, but in a "good movie making me feel for the characters" suck. It was the best resolution to the Harry plot. Here's where the "no body" rule gets waved. Mary Jane mentioned he didn't even have a scar, so that Goblin serum have him slow healing abilities. He could crawl out of his grave for good or bad if they wanted to keep Franco on in the films. BUT the Spidey comics gave us Hobgoblin. We could just introduce both Ned Leads and that Macintire bad guy, put other mysteries in there then make the audience guess (maybe not even tell them in #4)as to who the Hobgoblin is.
It would be so easy. Sony pictures said there would be three more films. This is what I want to see...
In #4 we see mystery person find the Goblin stuff and steal it. Conners becomes Lizard. Maybe even just stay with only Lizard (bring in Black Cat and lose MJ for a bit, there's enough story for 1 film). Conners gets "cured" at the end of film.
In #5 we get Electro. Meanwhile in the background Hobby blackmails Sandman. We never saw a body so both Doc Ock and Venom are brought back and "cared for" by Hobby.
In #6 Hobby brings Doc Ock, Venom, Electro, Sandman and Lizard down on Spidey. Imagine the CGI. Yum!
OK, that's my thoughts. Yours?
Some people complain about the crying, some about Harry's death. Some compare it to the 90's Batman sequels. I'm sure a lot whine about the CGI.
I don't see that. I saw a great movie that was fun, resolved some plot lines effectively and at the same time was able to bring in new characters and give us time with each of them.
Last night I was caught up in the usual "new movie" euphoria and told Willard on the phone that it was the best of the three. On second thought, the first is still the best because it set the stage. This one, however, was still very fun.
Back in the 80's I read this great Marvel Two In One comic. The Thing and Sandman. In it they don't fight but instead just talk. Flint was sick of the villain bizz and the Thing talks him into giving it up. For the next several years Flint is a good guy. He was even an Avenger (for far to short a time). He gained some depth.
Then John Byrne came in and wrote Flint with the "I was just faking it" crap. Now he's a villain again. He's back to a 2D character with no strength of being.
In the movie we see that Flint has a sick daughter and that has been his motivation. In the end Spidey lets him leave after the two have a heart-to-heart. I liked that. I would hope that this turns him around in the comics, but I'm not really reading them much so I guess it wouldn't really matter to me. Would I like to see him in the sequels? Yes. Would I like to see him as a "villain"? I'd like to see another villain use Flint's daughter as a bargaining chip to get him to be part of a movie Sinister Six.
When I saw the Mummy (we're big fans here. Can't wait for next year's Mummy 3) I said "Now we're ready for Sandman". Last night as he pulled himself together I said "THIS is what I meant." The sand effects where perfect. I so want more!
I found myself going "Peter, you dope!" several times, which is what they wanted me to do. I think his relationship with Mary Jane resolved too quickly. He hit her, people! He should sit down and explain the costume to her. She's easily believe it because she loves him, deep down still trusts him and she knows Venom. Then she would understand why he did those things at her club. But then she'd chew him out about being a clueless moron and too into his press. Then things would be stronger in their relationship.
Personally, I wanted her to leave for California and for him to go it alone into the next film. Then they could fix things with Gwen and kill her (but they did the bridge thing in #1 so they would have to think of something different) or bring in the Black Cat (a must in the future). I'd want Mary Jane gone for #4 and 5 then come back in #6 to get married to Pete.
I think the black costume was introduced very well. I don't read Ultimates but I heard somewhere that a stray meteor was the explanation in those books. We couldn't have the Secret Wars so it works for the film. Conners talking Reed Richards part and explaining the symbiont's properties was well done. I'm glad Conners is getting so much screen time in these films. We HAVE to have Lizard in #4.
Venom was perfect. Topher Grace was perfect as Brock. I want more Venom and everyone knows the rule. If you don't see a body, he isn't dead. Yes, his time was too short. He needed an entire movie for his subplot, but when the symbiont / Brock / Venom was on screen, it was perfect.
OK, Harry died. Yes, that sucks, but in a "good movie making me feel for the characters" suck. It was the best resolution to the Harry plot. Here's where the "no body" rule gets waved. Mary Jane mentioned he didn't even have a scar, so that Goblin serum have him slow healing abilities. He could crawl out of his grave for good or bad if they wanted to keep Franco on in the films. BUT the Spidey comics gave us Hobgoblin. We could just introduce both Ned Leads and that Macintire bad guy, put other mysteries in there then make the audience guess (maybe not even tell them in #4)as to who the Hobgoblin is.
It would be so easy. Sony pictures said there would be three more films. This is what I want to see...
In #4 we see mystery person find the Goblin stuff and steal it. Conners becomes Lizard. Maybe even just stay with only Lizard (bring in Black Cat and lose MJ for a bit, there's enough story for 1 film). Conners gets "cured" at the end of film.
In #5 we get Electro. Meanwhile in the background Hobby blackmails Sandman. We never saw a body so both Doc Ock and Venom are brought back and "cared for" by Hobby.
In #6 Hobby brings Doc Ock, Venom, Electro, Sandman and Lizard down on Spidey. Imagine the CGI. Yum!
OK, that's my thoughts. Yours?
Saturday, May 05, 2007
I'm a Marvel...and I'm a DC.
Willard showed me this great "I'm a Mac, I'm I PC" satire. Take a look.
Friday, May 04, 2007
Spidey 3 tonight!
We're going for David's birthday! Can't wait! I'll post more later.
EDIT
It was postponed till Sat night.
EDIT
It was postponed till Sat night.
Revised Chapter 2
It came to me out of nowhere a few nights ago. I figured out how to take the following...
Chapter 2, intro to the setting and two major characters plus intro to three other characters
Chapter 3, intro to three more characters plus the mystery of the town.
Chapter 4, more info on main character
I discovered how to take these three boring chapters that do a lot of telling and merge them into one chapter. I hope I'm showing more than telling.
Anyway, this means stuff starts really happening in chapter 3. I put the new chapter 2 on AW for review.
Gulp!
Chapter 2, intro to the setting and two major characters plus intro to three other characters
Chapter 3, intro to three more characters plus the mystery of the town.
Chapter 4, more info on main character
I discovered how to take these three boring chapters that do a lot of telling and merge them into one chapter. I hope I'm showing more than telling.
Anyway, this means stuff starts really happening in chapter 3. I put the new chapter 2 on AW for review.
Gulp!
Thursday, May 03, 2007
A real Super Hero?
A real super hero? Here's the news article.
In some ways I think he might me nuts, but on the other hand at least he's doing something.
Here's his Myspace site.
There seems to be a whole lot of them.
In some ways I think he might me nuts, but on the other hand at least he's doing something.
Here's his Myspace site.
There seems to be a whole lot of them.
Wednesday, May 02, 2007
I'm Visionary!
Adam created a quiz with his characters. I would do the same except I'm pretty busy.
| Which member of Visionary's cast are you? Your Result: Visionary You are most like Visionary: A little slow on the uptake, but a good guy and not at all fake. You might not have the flashy powers, skills or wardrobe of your peers, but you have friends, family, and the respect of.... | |
| Hallie | |
| Magweed and Griffin | |
| Kerry | |
| Fleabot | |
| Quoth | |
| Mary Prankstar | |
| Roni Y. Avis | |
| Which member of Visionary's cast are you? Take More Quizzes | |
Tuesday, May 01, 2007
Monday, April 30, 2007
Rejection
Remember that request for a partial? Well I got the form rejection letter today.
Guess I need to get back in the game.
Maybe I should rewrite chapter 2-4 like I planned. Or maybe I'll just send some more queries out.
In the rejection she says she could not connect with Annabelle or Roland.
What still frustrates me is kids can connect with them, but agents are blocking/ denying them the chance.
Ah well.
UPDATE
This just occurred to me. She wanted "50 or so pages" and I emailed her, requesting I send 66 pages (cuase page 50 is in the middle of a chapter. She never replied. I bet I left a sour taste in her mouth, so to speak.
This is more reason to rewrite chapter 2 so that it covers info from chapters 2,3,4 and 5. Then chapter three will be the Mysterious Cabin. Things get better paced there.
Why did Rowling get to do two boring first chapters? I'm talking about back when she first tried.
I know, I'm whining, but I just want a chance.
Guess I need to get back in the game.
Maybe I should rewrite chapter 2-4 like I planned. Or maybe I'll just send some more queries out.
In the rejection she says she could not connect with Annabelle or Roland.
What still frustrates me is kids can connect with them, but agents are blocking/ denying them the chance.
Ah well.
UPDATE
This just occurred to me. She wanted "50 or so pages" and I emailed her, requesting I send 66 pages (cuase page 50 is in the middle of a chapter. She never replied. I bet I left a sour taste in her mouth, so to speak.
This is more reason to rewrite chapter 2 so that it covers info from chapters 2,3,4 and 5. Then chapter three will be the Mysterious Cabin. Things get better paced there.
Why did Rowling get to do two boring first chapters? I'm talking about back when she first tried.
I know, I'm whining, but I just want a chance.
Sunday, April 29, 2007
Whoohoo! I'm original!
I did it for both Annabelle and Roland.
Annabelle got 18,102
Roland got 108,615.
Foresight got 0
Yes! Original!
As for "Jack Roberts", my pen name...
Annabelle got 18,102
Roland got 108,615.
Foresight got 0
Yes! Original!
As for "Jack Roberts", my pen name...
Thursday, April 26, 2007
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
Shame they don't have Annabelle...
 | You scored as Dracula. You are the smooth sexy cool Dracula. Patient and lustful. If you were any cooler youd be ice. Great style with a way of seducing those around you. And three brides who wouldn't want to be him.
Whose your Vampire personality? (images) created with QuizFarm.com |
The guy who did the quiz could learn how to spell.
I'm a wizard, Harry!
You scored as Wizard. You are a wizard. Through reading books and leanring the histoy of the mistakes in the world, you figure out a way to revamp them and figure out the answer on your own. You search for the unknown and thus is why you know how to use sparkly magic thingies!
What D&D class are you? created with QuizFarm.com |
My Hook review on Fangs, Fur and Fey is up...
It wasn't good. I don't care about the contest because the prize was for pages to be sent to Rachael Vater, and she's already rejected my book twice.
I entered to get feed back and that's just what I got. One of the published authors who frequent the site judged my hook on whether it could grab him or her. Some things held it back.
I really do appreciate the chance so don't think I'm whining. I'm just concerned because . . . well take a look.
Hook 61
What happens when you take two happy, optimistic kids, and turn them into vampires? Ten year old Annabelle loves animals and has a strong desire to learn. She would much rather read her favorite books than explore. Her brother Roland is twelve and thinks reading is boring. He’d be happier exploring. It is the late 1600s and their family had just moved from England to the New World . Annabelle and Roland’s lives are shattered when the evil vampire Dominic kills their parents and leaves the children to die. His wife does not agree with his actions but has always been too afraid to rebel. Seeing the children’s plight, she acts on impulse and rescues them the only way she knows how, by transforming them into what she is and teaching them how to become children of the night.
Annabelle and Roland learn how to turn into bats and wolves. They struggle to control their cravings while mastering their vampiric abilities. Annabelle and her brother befriend the Mohegan Indians, free a witch from the Salem jail, hide from a ruthless vampire hunter and struggle to keep their existence as vampires a secret in their colonial town. They grow from inexperienced young children to confident teenagers while facing Dominic’s wicked servants. Each vampire, witch and werewolf that tries to kill them is tougher than the last until finally, after years of apprehension mixed with fear, they confront the master vampire who slaughtered their parents. Future uncertain, the teen vampires must try and stop Dominic before he destroys everything they hold dear.
Notes—My first thought to your opening question was “Happy vampires?” This could be fun, though—you’ve put young adult vampires into a time we don’t read too much about. I was a little concerned Dominic turned the kids at such a young age, and wondered if it couldn't’t have happened to them when they older? Older kids might be better able to survive/blend in—just a thought. As for the description of the two kids—can you dig a little deeper than simply giving them the opposite interests? Also, their interests don’t come into play in your synopsis—perhaps they do in the text, but since you make a point of telling me Annabelle likes to read, I thought that might come up later on.
I also wondered about the available books in this time—not light reading for a ten year old. As for the rest, it seems episodic—attack after attack—each stronger than the last. Why is Dominic sending creatures to kill them? And I don’t get a sense of what they “hold dear”. Are their friends in peril? Again, my first thoughts were that this could be fun—the setting is unique, but I need to see a story arc.
---
OK, me again. I noticed that she/he didn't see that it was Eliza who turned the kids. At first I thought I didn't clarify that well, but there it is in the first paragraph.
I'm concerned though. She/he mentions that the kids should be older. Aprilynne said the same thing. Do I loose the happy little bats and children learning to be young vamps? The kids at the school loved those things. I really believe in my gut it should stay that way.
Also, in my query/hook I mentioned the ageing of the children at the middle of the book. The guys at Absolute Write told me that detracted from the hook. Now I see where it would help. It's a major part of the book, watching these young kids change into teens overnight. It relates with the same growing pain problems pre-teens go through all over the world. I want to mention it but how?
In the book I cover how Annabelle could have gotten a hold of books
during those days. Her father was a bookbinder. Maybe I should mention that?
Episodic. That's what Adam said after reading the book. Maybe it is. Maybe it wont sell because of that. How can I fix this? Should I throw the book away and rewrite?
Here's what someone else said in the responses...
lnhammer on April 25th, 2007 12:10 am (UTC)
I'm very intrigued by #61, but with reservations. It's that each opponent is tougher than the last thing -- like a sorting algorithm of evil. Rather than training them up, why wasn't a tough enough minion sent to take care of things first time through? It makes the plot sound very by-the-numbers.
Ouch! Very true.
Man, it feels like I almost have it. It's like my goal is just outside of my reach.
This, combined with my fear for Janeen's present physical health and mental welfare, has made my mood deeply concerned and very unrested.
I entered to get feed back and that's just what I got. One of the published authors who frequent the site judged my hook on whether it could grab him or her. Some things held it back.
I really do appreciate the chance so don't think I'm whining. I'm just concerned because . . . well take a look.
Hook 61
What happens when you take two happy, optimistic kids, and turn them into vampires? Ten year old Annabelle loves animals and has a strong desire to learn. She would much rather read her favorite books than explore. Her brother Roland is twelve and thinks reading is boring. He’d be happier exploring. It is the late 1600s and their family had just moved from England to the New World . Annabelle and Roland’s lives are shattered when the evil vampire Dominic kills their parents and leaves the children to die. His wife does not agree with his actions but has always been too afraid to rebel. Seeing the children’s plight, she acts on impulse and rescues them the only way she knows how, by transforming them into what she is and teaching them how to become children of the night.
Annabelle and Roland learn how to turn into bats and wolves. They struggle to control their cravings while mastering their vampiric abilities. Annabelle and her brother befriend the Mohegan Indians, free a witch from the Salem jail, hide from a ruthless vampire hunter and struggle to keep their existence as vampires a secret in their colonial town. They grow from inexperienced young children to confident teenagers while facing Dominic’s wicked servants. Each vampire, witch and werewolf that tries to kill them is tougher than the last until finally, after years of apprehension mixed with fear, they confront the master vampire who slaughtered their parents. Future uncertain, the teen vampires must try and stop Dominic before he destroys everything they hold dear.
Notes—My first thought to your opening question was “Happy vampires?” This could be fun, though—you’ve put young adult vampires into a time we don’t read too much about. I was a little concerned Dominic turned the kids at such a young age, and wondered if it couldn't’t have happened to them when they older? Older kids might be better able to survive/blend in—just a thought. As for the description of the two kids—can you dig a little deeper than simply giving them the opposite interests? Also, their interests don’t come into play in your synopsis—perhaps they do in the text, but since you make a point of telling me Annabelle likes to read, I thought that might come up later on.
I also wondered about the available books in this time—not light reading for a ten year old. As for the rest, it seems episodic—attack after attack—each stronger than the last. Why is Dominic sending creatures to kill them? And I don’t get a sense of what they “hold dear”. Are their friends in peril? Again, my first thoughts were that this could be fun—the setting is unique, but I need to see a story arc.
---
OK, me again. I noticed that she/he didn't see that it was Eliza who turned the kids. At first I thought I didn't clarify that well, but there it is in the first paragraph.
I'm concerned though. She/he mentions that the kids should be older. Aprilynne said the same thing. Do I loose the happy little bats and children learning to be young vamps? The kids at the school loved those things. I really believe in my gut it should stay that way.
Also, in my query/hook I mentioned the ageing of the children at the middle of the book. The guys at Absolute Write told me that detracted from the hook. Now I see where it would help. It's a major part of the book, watching these young kids change into teens overnight. It relates with the same growing pain problems pre-teens go through all over the world. I want to mention it but how?
In the book I cover how Annabelle could have gotten a hold of books
during those days. Her father was a bookbinder. Maybe I should mention that?
Episodic. That's what Adam said after reading the book. Maybe it is. Maybe it wont sell because of that. How can I fix this? Should I throw the book away and rewrite?
Here's what someone else said in the responses...
lnhammer on April 25th, 2007 12:10 am (UTC)
I'm very intrigued by #61, but with reservations. It's that each opponent is tougher than the last thing -- like a sorting algorithm of evil. Rather than training them up, why wasn't a tough enough minion sent to take care of things first time through? It makes the plot sound very by-the-numbers.
Ouch! Very true.
Man, it feels like I almost have it. It's like my goal is just outside of my reach.
This, combined with my fear for Janeen's present physical health and mental welfare, has made my mood deeply concerned and very unrested.
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
Sunday, April 22, 2007
Saturday, April 21, 2007
Friday, April 20, 2007
WWII Robot battle!
Here's a site where these guys did some great computer animations.
My favorite is a WWII Giant Robot battle.
Here’s their site.
And now, thanks to Chris Karath, here it is!
My favorite is a WWII Giant Robot battle.
Here’s their site.
And now, thanks to Chris Karath, here it is!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY LAURA!
My eldest turned 14 today! Happy B-Day!
She has a friend over and family came down and cake was had by all.
She has a friend over and family came down and cake was had by all.
Monday, April 16, 2007
Contest update
I now have a number for the Fangs Fur Fey contest!
I got this email...
Hello. You are hook #61 in the Fangs, Fur and Fey contest. Please look for that number on Monday, April 23rd at Fangs Fur Fey when we post the hooks.
Your hook has not been assigned to a judge for critiquing yet. Hooks will be randomly assigned this weekend. Good luck and thanks for entering!
Fangs, Fur and Fey
...
Cool, huh?
I got this email...
Hello. You are hook #61 in the Fangs, Fur and Fey contest. Please look for that number on Monday, April 23rd at Fangs Fur Fey when we post the hooks.
Your hook has not been assigned to a judge for critiquing yet. Hooks will be randomly assigned this weekend. Good luck and thanks for entering!
Fangs, Fur and Fey
...
Cool, huh?
Friday, April 13, 2007
Harry/Ginny and Ron/Hermione
While I'm showing YouTube videos,
Here's a great tribute to Harry and Ginny, as well as Ron and Hermione.
They mispelled July, but it's still sweet.
Here's a great tribute to Harry and Ginny, as well as Ron and Hermione.
They mispelled July, but it's still sweet.
Two greats together . . . sort of.
So cool. Doctor Who mentions Harry Potter.
Man, I can't wait till both book 7 and the airing of Season 3 of the Doctor here in the states.
Man, I can't wait till both book 7 and the airing of Season 3 of the Doctor here in the states.
FAN-FRICKEN-TASTIC! GREAT NEWS!
I received a request for my partial and I'm in the contest!
I entered a Hook contest at Fangs Fur and Fey. Now published authors will look at the first two paragraphs of my query and post it online, with serious thoughts that can help me improve it. I got in! Can't wait to get my email stating what number I'll be.
Here’s the recent post on the Fangs Fur and Fey site.
Now, for even better news! I got a request for a partial! YES!
Now I'm going to be practical about this. It could end up being a rejection still. I must expect the rejection.
But still, getting my foot in the door is the first battle!
I hope those first four chapters hook her. I feel greatly confident about the first chapter, but the second one (Family entering the New World), second and third ones (there's a mystery in town.) and the forth one (AAIIE! There's a spooky cabin on our land at the mysterious 'witch' rumors are true!) worry me greatly.
Actually, only chapters 2-3 worry me. If I get a ton of rejections this time I'm going to condense them and rework them.
So, today is a very good day. :)
I entered a Hook contest at Fangs Fur and Fey. Now published authors will look at the first two paragraphs of my query and post it online, with serious thoughts that can help me improve it. I got in! Can't wait to get my email stating what number I'll be.
Here’s the recent post on the Fangs Fur and Fey site.
Now, for even better news! I got a request for a partial! YES!
Now I'm going to be practical about this. It could end up being a rejection still. I must expect the rejection.
But still, getting my foot in the door is the first battle!
I hope those first four chapters hook her. I feel greatly confident about the first chapter, but the second one (Family entering the New World), second and third ones (there's a mystery in town.) and the forth one (AAIIE! There's a spooky cabin on our land at the mysterious 'witch' rumors are true!) worry me greatly.
Actually, only chapters 2-3 worry me. If I get a ton of rejections this time I'm going to condense them and rework them.
So, today is a very good day. :)
Monday, April 09, 2007
Busy
Work is so darn busy. It used to be that I could write a PV story in one setting. Now my lunch never lasts.
Sigh.
Guess I'd better evolve with the times and adjust my schedule.
Sigh.
Guess I'd better evolve with the times and adjust my schedule.
Sunday, April 08, 2007
Tired, little sore, but happy
There is an amusement park called Lagoon here in Northern Utah. We bought season passes and Saturday was the first day it opened. We've been looking forward to it all winter.
We had a good time, but man are we tired.
Whew.
We had a good time, but man are we tired.
Whew.
Happy Easter '07
It was a good one. Pretty simple. We decorated eggs last night. My wife was too sleepy (because of our first day at Lagoon) and missed out on the Easter Bunny coming and hiding eggs.
This morn.Dave woke Janeen and I up with a cold he's got. He crawled back into our bed but It was too late. The damage was done. The girls woke and that's all she wrote for sleeping in.
Everyone had fun finding their baskets and the eggs and now we're taking the day off and relaxing.
So, all in all, a good Easter.
Update, we went to a family picnic and had a good time. Then we bathed the dogs and kids.
This morn.Dave woke Janeen and I up with a cold he's got. He crawled back into our bed but It was too late. The damage was done. The girls woke and that's all she wrote for sleeping in.
Everyone had fun finding their baskets and the eggs and now we're taking the day off and relaxing.
So, all in all, a good Easter.
Update, we went to a family picnic and had a good time. Then we bathed the dogs and kids.
Thursday, March 29, 2007
Better
I'm feeling better guys. Thanks to my wife, Willard and Dani, plus some of the guys on AW (especially Triceratops, poster/published writer), I feel 100% again.
I submitted two electronic quires and prepared two snail mail ones to mail tomorrow. I feel that I should write some Parodyverse stories and let the book go out to agents. Maybe some non-New York ones, and smaller press ones. Maybe I'll try an editor too.
Anyway, I'm back in the saddle. My real problem is proper time management. I only have lunch, before and after work to write or query. That's not enough time.
I'll get it though.
I submitted two electronic quires and prepared two snail mail ones to mail tomorrow. I feel that I should write some Parodyverse stories and let the book go out to agents. Maybe some non-New York ones, and smaller press ones. Maybe I'll try an editor too.
Anyway, I'm back in the saddle. My real problem is proper time management. I only have lunch, before and after work to write or query. That's not enough time.
I'll get it though.
British covers (clues?)
What's with the shiny castle? The snake in the ball, why? What are the trio in? Gold? Is that Harry's money?
Cover to Harry Potter 7!
As I'm sure you already know, the cover to book 7 has been released.
Can't wait till this one! I'll be sad when it's over. If only there was a book out there that could grab people and keep them entertained.
Hmm.
Monday, March 26, 2007
Painful rejection
I just received a rejection from a certain agent. This is the same agent who wrote a note on my query last October, stating that she held onto it for awhile but ultimately didn’t go with it because of all the editing.
After a great deal of editing I resubmitted to her.
Here is what she said…
“This is going to be frustrating to hear, but last fall a lot of YA & middle grade editors were looking for vampire & werewolf type novels. Now they aren’t. Trends come & go quickly. It will probably come back around again, but probably not until fall again. Or even later if the publishers don’t feel these books sold as well as they hoped.”
So what does this mean? Should I just give up and wait? Last fall? You mean last fall as in the season that she got my query the first time? It was last fall that every one rejected it. Should I have skipped the agents and went straight to the editors last fall? Is it too late now? Is she for real? Should I just quit and take her word for it? DAMN!
Ok, let’s count the facts.
1.Getting started at a published writer means getting an agent and agents are fickle with what they want. The one thing that you can count on is that they expect everything to be unworthy and unmarketable.
2. Editors feel the same way as agents and even if you do by some miracle convince one that you’ve got the stuff, that your story has the stuff, they have to convince a group of editors who expect failure.
3. While you may have tried your novel with the age bracket, and they liked it and honestly wanted more, the opinions of the age bracket means squat to the professionals. You’re not supposed to tell them that readers liked it. They don’t care. If they don’t think it will sell, who cares if a bunch of kids think otherwise? Even if it’s the kids who would buy it in the first place.
4. The fiction I originally set out to do is no longer desired by editors or agents. I didn’t sit down one day and say “Hey, how about vampires?” No, the idea came to me in a powerful, overwhelming passion. I never cared about vampires, yet I had to write it. This character had to get out to schools, libraries and any where else. She had to teach and entertain children. She had to make their lives better. I feel in my bones that this is right and the thirty kids who read it feel the same way. I’m told “Write something else.” Well I have other stories in me, tons of them. But the passion is with Annabelle. The passion is with this story.
I don’t know what to do. I could, in one gust of fury, take the passion and rewrite the first two chapters, but why? Why do anything?
A small voice filled with passion, one that feels “right”, tells me she was just one agent. She’s just one opinion. The voice says to keep trying. She’s not the voice of every agent or editor. Don’t let her get you down.
On the other hand, she is a professional. Her ear is set to the industry. How could she be wrong? I’m just a clueless little wannabe writer. I know nothing. She’s clearly right and I’m clueless optimistic. I’m stupid, living in a fantasy world of wish fulfillment. I’ve lost a lot of faith in this dream. This was the straw. Final straw? I have no clue. I have little clue about anything these days.
After a great deal of editing I resubmitted to her.
Here is what she said…
“This is going to be frustrating to hear, but last fall a lot of YA & middle grade editors were looking for vampire & werewolf type novels. Now they aren’t. Trends come & go quickly. It will probably come back around again, but probably not until fall again. Or even later if the publishers don’t feel these books sold as well as they hoped.”
So what does this mean? Should I just give up and wait? Last fall? You mean last fall as in the season that she got my query the first time? It was last fall that every one rejected it. Should I have skipped the agents and went straight to the editors last fall? Is it too late now? Is she for real? Should I just quit and take her word for it? DAMN!
Ok, let’s count the facts.
1.Getting started at a published writer means getting an agent and agents are fickle with what they want. The one thing that you can count on is that they expect everything to be unworthy and unmarketable.
2. Editors feel the same way as agents and even if you do by some miracle convince one that you’ve got the stuff, that your story has the stuff, they have to convince a group of editors who expect failure.
3. While you may have tried your novel with the age bracket, and they liked it and honestly wanted more, the opinions of the age bracket means squat to the professionals. You’re not supposed to tell them that readers liked it. They don’t care. If they don’t think it will sell, who cares if a bunch of kids think otherwise? Even if it’s the kids who would buy it in the first place.
4. The fiction I originally set out to do is no longer desired by editors or agents. I didn’t sit down one day and say “Hey, how about vampires?” No, the idea came to me in a powerful, overwhelming passion. I never cared about vampires, yet I had to write it. This character had to get out to schools, libraries and any where else. She had to teach and entertain children. She had to make their lives better. I feel in my bones that this is right and the thirty kids who read it feel the same way. I’m told “Write something else.” Well I have other stories in me, tons of them. But the passion is with Annabelle. The passion is with this story.
I don’t know what to do. I could, in one gust of fury, take the passion and rewrite the first two chapters, but why? Why do anything?
A small voice filled with passion, one that feels “right”, tells me she was just one agent. She’s just one opinion. The voice says to keep trying. She’s not the voice of every agent or editor. Don’t let her get you down.
On the other hand, she is a professional. Her ear is set to the industry. How could she be wrong? I’m just a clueless little wannabe writer. I know nothing. She’s clearly right and I’m clueless optimistic. I’m stupid, living in a fantasy world of wish fulfillment. I’ve lost a lot of faith in this dream. This was the straw. Final straw? I have no clue. I have little clue about anything these days.
Sunday, March 25, 2007
Thursday, March 22, 2007
Long Time No Post
Sorry guys!
I've been very busy working. I have evenings and lunches to do stuff, but I've been pretty tired.
I submitted ten quires last Friday. We'll see when the rejections come forth.
I've been very busy working. I have evenings and lunches to do stuff, but I've been pretty tired.
I submitted ten quires last Friday. We'll see when the rejections come forth.
My Disney Channel rant
Hey, long time no post! Sorry!
I liked how this came out on the RTM so I posted it here to, so I could keep it.
Danni, Willard, if you feel like replying, go for it!
---
It would be nice if there was a Vault Disney channel that showed all the stuff from decades ago. Disney has such a strong, rich history but all they cram down people's throats are stupid teen sitcoms and lame cartoons. "Give the kid a couple years, then a TV movie, then throw them out and get a new kid."
Where is Escape from Witch Mountain? Where is The Cat From Outer Space? They have enough programming to fill several channels, but we get rehashed teen movies and reheated stale sitcoms.
ENOUGH with Raven, Zack & Cody and Cory! Give us Apple Dumpling Gang, Herbie and Swiss Family Robinson!
Disney, you want to flush your channel down the toilet? Fine! But create a Vault Disney channel so us parents can teach our children what wholesome programming is!
I liked how this came out on the RTM so I posted it here to, so I could keep it.
Danni, Willard, if you feel like replying, go for it!
---
It would be nice if there was a Vault Disney channel that showed all the stuff from decades ago. Disney has such a strong, rich history but all they cram down people's throats are stupid teen sitcoms and lame cartoons. "Give the kid a couple years, then a TV movie, then throw them out and get a new kid."
Where is Escape from Witch Mountain? Where is The Cat From Outer Space? They have enough programming to fill several channels, but we get rehashed teen movies and reheated stale sitcoms.
ENOUGH with Raven, Zack & Cody and Cory! Give us Apple Dumpling Gang, Herbie and Swiss Family Robinson!
Disney, you want to flush your channel down the toilet? Fine! But create a Vault Disney channel so us parents can teach our children what wholesome programming is!
Monday, March 12, 2007
Queries
I received my first new rejection.
This is my new push for the novel. After the extensive 3rd edits I sent out one electronic query and prepared nine snail mail ones. I'm still waiting to send the nine (between checks right now).
Today I got a rejection back from the electronic. I know I should laugh it off but after all those edits, I'm worried that maybe the edits were not enough.
What if no one wants it?
It's very frustrating, because those kids in Jeff's class really liked it and they are the demographic, but the agents are supposed to represent the demographic and they keep rejecting it.
GAHH!
I sent another electronic one today and sent a request to a prior queried agent to see if he would like to look at the new version.
I just feel so far away from my goals.
This is my new push for the novel. After the extensive 3rd edits I sent out one electronic query and prepared nine snail mail ones. I'm still waiting to send the nine (between checks right now).
Today I got a rejection back from the electronic. I know I should laugh it off but after all those edits, I'm worried that maybe the edits were not enough.
What if no one wants it?
It's very frustrating, because those kids in Jeff's class really liked it and they are the demographic, but the agents are supposed to represent the demographic and they keep rejecting it.
GAHH!
I sent another electronic one today and sent a request to a prior queried agent to see if he would like to look at the new version.
I just feel so far away from my goals.
Monday, March 05, 2007
How was my birthday?
It was good.
At work, the PC I've got is a slower model. Today I entered work to discover they gave me the newer one that they promised me. It's not the newest and I don't care. It's fast, it has Windows XP and I can do my work while listening to my tunes, and that's all I care about.
At lunch I made my goal. I updated my synopsis, typed up a letter for Rachel Vater and emailed her. I know I shouldn't get my hopes up but all I truly want is for this story, these characters to reach children. To entertain and maybe inspire.
Tomorrow I'll organize a group to send queries to.
I received well wishes from friends online and on the phone. My parents sent a nice card, too.
My wife made me chocolate brownies (I wanted that instead of cake) and the kids made me cards. Two new figures (Green Arrow and Red Tornado) arrived today, too.
All in all, not a bad day.
At work, the PC I've got is a slower model. Today I entered work to discover they gave me the newer one that they promised me. It's not the newest and I don't care. It's fast, it has Windows XP and I can do my work while listening to my tunes, and that's all I care about.
At lunch I made my goal. I updated my synopsis, typed up a letter for Rachel Vater and emailed her. I know I shouldn't get my hopes up but all I truly want is for this story, these characters to reach children. To entertain and maybe inspire.
Tomorrow I'll organize a group to send queries to.
I received well wishes from friends online and on the phone. My parents sent a nice card, too.
My wife made me chocolate brownies (I wanted that instead of cake) and the kids made me cards. Two new figures (Green Arrow and Red Tornado) arrived today, too.
All in all, not a bad day.
Happy Birthday
Well, today I turn 40. Weee. Yeah, right.
Nice part of having a blog no one reads? No one knows it's your birthday. ;)
Nice part of having a blog no one reads? No one knows it's your birthday. ;)
New Potter figures, good and bad.
Here’s the Leaky Cauldron picture site.
The good is that these figures are coming out.
The bad is that they are only released in the US.
Aw well.
Sunday, March 04, 2007
Finished with the edits!
Finally!
Now to update the synopsis and query letter, compose a letter to Rachel Vater and then it's resubmission time!
Now to update the synopsis and query letter, compose a letter to Rachel Vater and then it's resubmission time!
Friday, March 02, 2007
Facts:
Fact #1, new job is going great. There is a learning curve and I'm working more than at the last job, but it's fun and I'm enjoying it.
Fact #2, The new car we bought a few weeks ago (new as in 2002) is doing great. This week I (with the help of my wife) turned some mp3s to wavs and burned some cds for the van. Finally we're driving with real tunes!
Fact #3, Stranger Than Fiction is a good movie. Go rent it. Of course I'm partial because I'm a wanna be writer.
Fact #4, Five more chapters to edit and it's done! Then it's time to revisit the synopsis, the query and write a letter to Rachel Vater.
Fact #5, I'm in a good mood tonight!
Fact #6, Monday is my birthday. Gah. I'm too young to be 40. Gah.
Fact #7, No one reads this blog so my birthday is still a secret. Well, Willard and Dani read this blog, but who are they gonna tell? 40? GAH!
Fact #8, The dogs want to go for a walk.
Fact #9, This email is finished! Bye!
(40, yuck)
Fact #2, The new car we bought a few weeks ago (new as in 2002) is doing great. This week I (with the help of my wife) turned some mp3s to wavs and burned some cds for the van. Finally we're driving with real tunes!
Fact #3, Stranger Than Fiction is a good movie. Go rent it. Of course I'm partial because I'm a wanna be writer.
Fact #4, Five more chapters to edit and it's done! Then it's time to revisit the synopsis, the query and write a letter to Rachel Vater.
Fact #5, I'm in a good mood tonight!
Fact #6, Monday is my birthday. Gah. I'm too young to be 40. Gah.
Fact #7, No one reads this blog so my birthday is still a secret. Well, Willard and Dani read this blog, but who are they gonna tell? 40? GAH!
Fact #8, The dogs want to go for a walk.
Fact #9, This email is finished! Bye!
(40, yuck)
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