Still busy working on the Manuscript. I'm ahead of schedule. I'm finding all of the POV problems and other things that need changing and fixing them.
At night I read it out loud to the kids. I'm catching sentences that don't read as well as they should and I'm fixing them.
So that's where I've been. Sorry for the dry blog spell.
Be back soon.
Tuesday, January 16, 2007
Friday, January 12, 2007
Still going strong
Despite sickness, and trying to get a handle on a new project at work, I'm still editing my novel.
That's why I haven't posted much. I'll be back to regular posting once this novel is ready!
That's why I haven't posted much. I'll be back to regular posting once this novel is ready!
Sunday, January 07, 2007
update
After some stress brought on by a friend's opinion, and then some advise from another friend (plus some other help in general) I've decided on some more changes to the manuscript.
In some ways it's frustrating to be back at the writing/editing stage, but I still feel very good about this and I have a good plan of action.
All I can do is have faith ion myself and the future.
Guess we'll see.
Back to editing...
In some ways it's frustrating to be back at the writing/editing stage, but I still feel very good about this and I have a good plan of action.
All I can do is have faith ion myself and the future.
Guess we'll see.
Back to editing...
Friday, January 05, 2007
Wednesday, January 03, 2007
Tuesday, January 02, 2007
A solution!
I know what to do!
In my world vampires CAN age! Well, up to a certain point (20 maybe), but they can age.
The beginning of the book will be child vampires (Ann 10 and Roland 12).
The middle on up they will age just a bit (Ann 14 and Roland 16).
I'm going to work it out into the book.
It's frustrating being back i the edit stage, but now that I know why it gets rejected I can do something about it!
In my world vampires CAN age! Well, up to a certain point (20 maybe), but they can age.
The beginning of the book will be child vampires (Ann 10 and Roland 12).
The middle on up they will age just a bit (Ann 14 and Roland 16).
I'm going to work it out into the book.
It's frustrating being back i the edit stage, but now that I know why it gets rejected I can do something about it!
Monday, January 01, 2007
Thrown for a loop
With all these rejections on my query, I tried another couple beta readers. A beta reader is someone who reads your novel first, to tell you where you screwed up.
She was brutally honest and I'm very grateful for that.
I'm depressed. She pointed out that while I sell it in the query as a Young Adult (12 up) story, the first few chapters read like a middle reader story. I'm not quite sure what that is but this means it's not what it advertises itself to be. Also, it later becomes that. So I can't quite focus on an audience.
Meanwhile, Ann cant ever have love because the whole love feelings between her and Tom cant work with her being a 10 year old. The visual is quite disturbing. To take the high ground, she could never have love and that is not what readers would want.
She suggested Ann be 14 instead of 10. Then I could go for the love/ infatuation and it works.
She's right, of course, but that means letting go of the little children vampires and such. She says teens wont want to read about children vamps. She says that the teens she asked turned their noses at it.
So child vampires that play or teen vampires that grow and love?
My friend Mike pointed out that I could start out as kids and allow them to age a bit. This would mean that they start out as cute vamp children and become teen vamps in love later.
Of course, this is my story and not theirs, but I've received 24 rejections. Some of those came from people who either read part or all of the story. Rachael Vater said their were a lot of editing problems I needed to work on first.
I feel good about the age idea, but would that sell?
So confused.
She was brutally honest and I'm very grateful for that.
I'm depressed. She pointed out that while I sell it in the query as a Young Adult (12 up) story, the first few chapters read like a middle reader story. I'm not quite sure what that is but this means it's not what it advertises itself to be. Also, it later becomes that. So I can't quite focus on an audience.
Meanwhile, Ann cant ever have love because the whole love feelings between her and Tom cant work with her being a 10 year old. The visual is quite disturbing. To take the high ground, she could never have love and that is not what readers would want.
She suggested Ann be 14 instead of 10. Then I could go for the love/ infatuation and it works.
She's right, of course, but that means letting go of the little children vampires and such. She says teens wont want to read about children vamps. She says that the teens she asked turned their noses at it.
So child vampires that play or teen vampires that grow and love?
My friend Mike pointed out that I could start out as kids and allow them to age a bit. This would mean that they start out as cute vamp children and become teen vamps in love later.
Of course, this is my story and not theirs, but I've received 24 rejections. Some of those came from people who either read part or all of the story. Rachael Vater said their were a lot of editing problems I needed to work on first.
I feel good about the age idea, but would that sell?
So confused.
Sunday, December 31, 2006
Friday, December 29, 2006
My new query
I fixed my query letter! I also picked three agents to send partials to (these three automatically desire partials with queries) and prepared separate queries for them.
Now to ship them out tomorrow.
For those of you who might be interested, here is my new, improved query letter. I renamed the file to become this one. Never destroy an original! You never know when you might need it again!
---
Attn. XXXX:
Annabelle loves life. Her brother, Roland, loves adventure. What happens when you take two happy, optimistic children, and turn them into vampires? An evil vampire destroys their family and leaves the children to die. His estranged, gentle wife rescues the children the only way she knows how, by making them into what she is and teaching them how to become children of the night instead of night monsters. The children discover how to turn into bats and learn to control their cravings while facing a ruthless vampire hunter, witches, werewolves and finally the evil master vampire that killed their parents.
ANNABELLE & ROLAND, THE NIGHT CHILDREN is an 89,000-word young adult fantasy novel. It begins the ongoing adventures of these two children as they are thrust into the strange, hidden world of vampires, werewolves and other mysteries in the last years of the 1600’s. This book covers their first seven years of discovery as they learn to be vampires. It is a self-contained story that has the potential for more adventures afterward.
For eight years, I have honed my skills by writing various short stories for some of my friends and close associates. While this is my first try at professional writing, I feel extremely confident about this novel.
Thank you for this opportunity. I look forward to hearing from you.
Sincerely,
Now to ship them out tomorrow.
For those of you who might be interested, here is my new, improved query letter. I renamed the file to become this one. Never destroy an original! You never know when you might need it again!
---
Attn. XXXX:
Annabelle loves life. Her brother, Roland, loves adventure. What happens when you take two happy, optimistic children, and turn them into vampires? An evil vampire destroys their family and leaves the children to die. His estranged, gentle wife rescues the children the only way she knows how, by making them into what she is and teaching them how to become children of the night instead of night monsters. The children discover how to turn into bats and learn to control their cravings while facing a ruthless vampire hunter, witches, werewolves and finally the evil master vampire that killed their parents.
ANNABELLE & ROLAND, THE NIGHT CHILDREN is an 89,000-word young adult fantasy novel. It begins the ongoing adventures of these two children as they are thrust into the strange, hidden world of vampires, werewolves and other mysteries in the last years of the 1600’s. This book covers their first seven years of discovery as they learn to be vampires. It is a self-contained story that has the potential for more adventures afterward.
For eight years, I have honed my skills by writing various short stories for some of my friends and close associates. While this is my first try at professional writing, I feel extremely confident about this novel.
Thank you for this opportunity. I look forward to hearing from you.
Sincerely,
Sleepy
Man I'm tired. I dragged myself out of bed this morn, did all my pre-work stuff (shower, walk dogs, etc) and drove to the van stop. It was all I could do to stay awake.
At work it was hard to get through without nodding off.
Maybe it was those stupid cats, fighting all night? We so need to fix energetic, crazy Monster so he wont pic fights with tired, lazy Rascal.
At work it was hard to get through without nodding off.
Maybe it was those stupid cats, fighting all night? We so need to fix energetic, crazy Monster so he wont pic fights with tired, lazy Rascal.
Christmas '06 Pic is UPDATED!
Christmas '06 Pic from my Caption the Pic site has been updated with captions.
Page 28 of my Caption site
WATCH THIS SPACE! Tonight I'll be putting up a new caption on the regular sites.
Page 28 of my Caption site
WATCH THIS SPACE! Tonight I'll be putting up a new caption on the regular sites.
Thursday, December 28, 2006
Updated Query
Well, I've taken the wonderful advice to heart and altered the query. I've also fixed the hook and removed the mention of 13 books in the series.
I've got it up on Absolute Write for review. I'm going to send three queries out this weekend with the new query/hook. Wish me luck!
I've got it up on Absolute Write for review. I'm going to send three queries out this weekend with the new query/hook. Wish me luck!
Wednesday, December 27, 2006
I'm on the crapometer!
Well, it’s on there and it made it ok. I mean, she didn’t say "It sucks!" or anything.
Here it is…
HH Com 490
Vampire children, excited to learn what they can do, while at the same time scared at the new world of danger all around them. Annabelle loves life. Her brother, Roland, loves adventure. What happens when you take two happy, optimistic children, and turn them into vampires? This question is answered in this 89,000-word young adult fantasy novel when an evil vampire destroys their family and his gentle wife rescues the children the only way she knows how, by making them into what she is and teaching them how to become children of the night instead of night monsters.
ANNABELLE & ROLAND, THE NIGHT CHILDREN, begins the ongoing adventures of these two children as they are thrust into the strange, hidden world of vampires, werewolves and other mysteries in the last years of the 1600’s. This first book covers their first seven years of discovery as they learn to be vampires. The children discover how to turn into bats and learn to control their cravings while facing a ruthless vampire hunter, witches, werewolves and finally the evil master vampire that killed their parents. This is book one of a thirteen book series. The following twelve books will chronicle their many adventures, covering three hundred years of world history from the perspective of these vampire children.
And her comments…
Ditch everything in red (green for my blog).
Focus on ONE book. You'll make my blood run cold to hear it's a 12 book series this early in the game.
Tell us this story. Use the Hook Me Up starting point for your mis en place.
…
Hmm. Not bad. I was afraid of far worse. I could easily ditch the stuff in red, but then there would be no word count, no title, how would potential agents know that info? I heard you have to include it in the query.
Also, I heard that you should let the agent know up front that it’s a series. Should I keep mum about that until later? I could. That’s no big deal.
What did she mean by "Use the Hook Me Up starting point for your mis en place"?
Thoughts guys?
Here it is…
HH Com 490
Vampire children, excited to learn what they can do, while at the same time scared at the new world of danger all around them. Annabelle loves life. Her brother, Roland, loves adventure. What happens when you take two happy, optimistic children, and turn them into vampires? This question is answered in this 89,000-word young adult fantasy novel when an evil vampire destroys their family and his gentle wife rescues the children the only way she knows how, by making them into what she is and teaching them how to become children of the night instead of night monsters.
ANNABELLE & ROLAND, THE NIGHT CHILDREN, begins the ongoing adventures of these two children as they are thrust into the strange, hidden world of vampires, werewolves and other mysteries in the last years of the 1600’s. This first book covers their first seven years of discovery as they learn to be vampires. The children discover how to turn into bats and learn to control their cravings while facing a ruthless vampire hunter, witches, werewolves and finally the evil master vampire that killed their parents. This is book one of a thirteen book series. The following twelve books will chronicle their many adventures, covering three hundred years of world history from the perspective of these vampire children.
And her comments…
Ditch everything in red (green for my blog).
Focus on ONE book. You'll make my blood run cold to hear it's a 12 book series this early in the game.
Tell us this story. Use the Hook Me Up starting point for your mis en place.
…
Hmm. Not bad. I was afraid of far worse. I could easily ditch the stuff in red, but then there would be no word count, no title, how would potential agents know that info? I heard you have to include it in the query.
Also, I heard that you should let the agent know up front that it’s a series. Should I keep mum about that until later? I could. That’s no big deal.
What did she mean by "Use the Hook Me Up starting point for your mis en place"?
Thoughts guys?
Post Christmas
I had a good Christmas. The kids got us up around 6 am. Everyone was happy about their presents. There were a few things that didn't fit but it all worked itself out.
All in all we rested a lot and had a good time.
I'm sick today. My stomach has been threatening me all day. I'll just keep plugging along. Work can't stop for sickness. I wish it could, but it cant.
All in all we rested a lot and had a good time.
I'm sick today. My stomach has been threatening me all day. I'll just keep plugging along. Work can't stop for sickness. I wish it could, but it cant.
Sunday, December 24, 2006
Christmas Eve night
It's so peaceful. A part of me wants to stand out in the cold, feeling the spirit of the season as the snow sparkles, the stars twinkle and a quiet feeling of love and peace fills the air.
My sweeties are in bed. Some truly are asleep, others are trying hard. ;)
Neen and I are roughly half way done with preparations for tomorrow's Christmas dinner and stuff.
I love this part of life. I love this whole thing. I hope when the kids are moved away, before the grandchildren are born, that this spirit will continue to fill me.
I'm pretty sure I will. ;)
Mysterious lurkers, friends and whomever else, may you have the best in holidays.
My sweeties are in bed. Some truly are asleep, others are trying hard. ;)
Neen and I are roughly half way done with preparations for tomorrow's Christmas dinner and stuff.
I love this part of life. I love this whole thing. I hope when the kids are moved away, before the grandchildren are born, that this spirit will continue to fill me.
I'm pretty sure I will. ;)
Mysterious lurkers, friends and whomever else, may you have the best in holidays.
Saturday, December 23, 2006
The Greatest Action Story Ever Told, Mad TV
I remember seeing this back when it first aired. I couldn't help but laugh. The last line is the best.
What a send off! Doctor Who Spoilers
WOW!
Very good send off for Rose!
My friends, Ian and Willard, did such a great job keeping it secret. When Mickey stayed in that alternate universe and there was a Rose dad who had lost his Jackie, it was a perfect set up, but my friends told me that was it for Mickey. Or they led me to believe that was it.
It was a perfect full circle. They set up Jackie's loneliness and her love for her husband since the very beginning and resolved it as she says "What have I done for my life." Now she and her lost husband are together.
I liked Rose but to be honest, there have been times when I wanted to shout at the screen "Look at Micky! He's trying! You're so head over heals on the Doctor you can't see that you're ignoring where you need to be!" She didn't have Lana-winer-itis but she was central minded. She needed the heart break. Only through heart break can we move onto the next, greater part of our life.
That black actress who became the first Cybermen victim did a nice enough job to empress the creators to sign her on as the new companion. Should be interesting to see how that works out. I know the runaway bride at the end wasn't the new companion. Ian and Kirk gave that away. That's OK though.
I loved how the Doctor imitated Bill Murray in Ghost Busters. He even got the voice slur that Murray does as Doctor Peter Vicman (I know, the spelling is off and I could go to IMDB and fix it, but I'm short on time right now).
I realized fairly early that the ghosts were coming from an alternate universe. I've seen too many alternate universe stories (and I love them all) to not pass up the signs. Once I realized that and the Doctor started to talk in ways that tipped it off, I started thinking of how stiff the "ghosts" were and then it was just another step to realize they were Cybermen and that Micky was coming back. I took Willard's advice and stayed far away from Sci Fi Channel because they were giving it all away in their previews. I managed to stay spoiler free! When the Doctor was describing the sphere I was certain it was the Beast/Satan/Devil inside. The Dylacs took me by surprise. I HAD to call back Willard and share my excitement.
It was fun watching the robots argue and insult each other. I LOVED IT! And then they tossed their catch phrases at each other. "Exterminate!" "Delete!" It made me wish Star Wars Episode 1 droids and Star Trek Borg were there to add "Roger, Roger" "You will be assimilated" to the chorus of robotic villains.
Ahhh. A fine meal. That's what that two-parter was. My only regret is that I have to wait till next year to see the season (3) that is just beginning in good ol' Londontown.
Very good send off for Rose!
My friends, Ian and Willard, did such a great job keeping it secret. When Mickey stayed in that alternate universe and there was a Rose dad who had lost his Jackie, it was a perfect set up, but my friends told me that was it for Mickey. Or they led me to believe that was it.
It was a perfect full circle. They set up Jackie's loneliness and her love for her husband since the very beginning and resolved it as she says "What have I done for my life." Now she and her lost husband are together.
I liked Rose but to be honest, there have been times when I wanted to shout at the screen "Look at Micky! He's trying! You're so head over heals on the Doctor you can't see that you're ignoring where you need to be!" She didn't have Lana-winer-itis but she was central minded. She needed the heart break. Only through heart break can we move onto the next, greater part of our life.
That black actress who became the first Cybermen victim did a nice enough job to empress the creators to sign her on as the new companion. Should be interesting to see how that works out. I know the runaway bride at the end wasn't the new companion. Ian and Kirk gave that away. That's OK though.
I loved how the Doctor imitated Bill Murray in Ghost Busters. He even got the voice slur that Murray does as Doctor Peter Vicman (I know, the spelling is off and I could go to IMDB and fix it, but I'm short on time right now).
I realized fairly early that the ghosts were coming from an alternate universe. I've seen too many alternate universe stories (and I love them all) to not pass up the signs. Once I realized that and the Doctor started to talk in ways that tipped it off, I started thinking of how stiff the "ghosts" were and then it was just another step to realize they were Cybermen and that Micky was coming back. I took Willard's advice and stayed far away from Sci Fi Channel because they were giving it all away in their previews. I managed to stay spoiler free! When the Doctor was describing the sphere I was certain it was the Beast/Satan/Devil inside. The Dylacs took me by surprise. I HAD to call back Willard and share my excitement.
It was fun watching the robots argue and insult each other. I LOVED IT! And then they tossed their catch phrases at each other. "Exterminate!" "Delete!" It made me wish Star Wars Episode 1 droids and Star Trek Borg were there to add "Roger, Roger" "You will be assimilated" to the chorus of robotic villains.
Ahhh. A fine meal. That's what that two-parter was. My only regret is that I have to wait till next year to see the season (3) that is just beginning in good ol' Londontown.
Friday, December 22, 2006
Excited
Wow, here I sit at the beginning of Friday afternoon.
Tonight we're going to see a movie and that's always fun. This one is Night at the Museum. I've been waiting to see that one. It's looks filled with all the things I like in a movie; comedy and special effects! And as if that wasn't good enough, the premier for Fantastic Four II airs before the movie!
Then tomorrow will be a nice Saturday where well catch up on cleaning, baking and wrapping (and if I'm lucky, buying Marvel Legends!).
Then we have Christmas Eve, where we'll go light looking and family stuff, and finish Christmas dinner preparations.
THEN CHRISTMAS! I don't think I need to say more about that!
Then another day off with nothing to do except maybe write. ;)
So I'm VERY excited right now!
Tonight we're going to see a movie and that's always fun. This one is Night at the Museum. I've been waiting to see that one. It's looks filled with all the things I like in a movie; comedy and special effects! And as if that wasn't good enough, the premier for Fantastic Four II airs before the movie!
Then tomorrow will be a nice Saturday where well catch up on cleaning, baking and wrapping (and if I'm lucky, buying Marvel Legends!).
Then we have Christmas Eve, where we'll go light looking and family stuff, and finish Christmas dinner preparations.
THEN CHRISTMAS! I don't think I need to say more about that!
Then another day off with nothing to do except maybe write. ;)
So I'm VERY excited right now!
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