Wednesday, December 27, 2006

I'm on the crapometer!

Well, it’s on there and it made it ok. I mean, she didn’t say "It sucks!" or anything.

Here it is…

HH Com 490

Vampire children, excited to learn what they can do, while at the same time scared at the new world of danger all around them.
Annabelle loves life. Her brother, Roland, loves adventure. What happens when you take two happy, optimistic children, and turn them into vampires? This question is answered in this 89,000-word young adult fantasy novel when an evil vampire destroys their family and his gentle wife rescues the children the only way she knows how, by making them into what she is and teaching them how to become children of the night instead of night monsters.

ANNABELLE & ROLAND, THE NIGHT CHILDREN, begins the ongoing adventures of these two children as they are thrust into the strange, hidden world of vampires, werewolves and other mysteries in the last years of the 1600’s. This first book covers their first seven years of discovery as they learn to be vampires.
The children discover how to turn into bats and learn to control their cravings while facing a ruthless vampire hunter, witches, werewolves and finally the evil master vampire that killed their parents. This is book one of a thirteen book series. The following twelve books will chronicle their many adventures, covering three hundred years of world history from the perspective of these vampire children.

And her comments…

Ditch everything in red (green for my blog).
Focus on ONE book. You'll make my blood run cold to hear it's a 12 book series this early in the game.

Tell us this story. Use the Hook Me Up starting point for your mis en place.

Hmm. Not bad. I was afraid of far worse. I could easily ditch the stuff in red, but then there would be no word count, no title, how would potential agents know that info? I heard you have to include it in the query.

Also, I heard that you should let the agent know up front that it’s a series. Should I keep mum about that until later? I could. That’s no big deal.

What did she mean by "Use the Hook Me Up starting point for your mis en place"?

Thoughts guys?


A Paperback Writer said...

Oh, you're THIS person! Yes, I think you just have a problem with your hook. I look forward to reading the book(s) sometime. The idea intrigues me, but then, I do love a good vampire tale....
Hmm. I'm going to look around on your blog for pieces of this book. Anywhere? Maybe test a page out on your readers, eh?

Jack Roberts, Annabelle's scribe said...

Hey there! I just fixed the hook and query. Now to see if it get's any fish!

I don't have any sample pages on the blog, but I can email you some!