Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Quit?

I'm so tired. People talk about my word count being too big. They tell me I'm Middle Grade. They tell me a lot. I try and try but they still tell me things.

And who are they? Most aren't published. They quote rules and say everyone is an exception but I'd be stupid to buck the system. I choke on advice.

And published authors? Do they follow me? They add me on Twitter or follow me on Absolute Write, but never think to help me. They live the dream but I'm not worth it.

Everyone says "Don't quit" but why? I'm sick of it.

My fire has finally gone out. I never have the time required to work on the craft and when I do it's the same road blocks. Maybe I'll never learn. Maybe I'm a fool.

What the hell was I thinking?

Annabelle's no good. I'm no good.

All I wanted was to share her. Maybe lift kids up or allow them a moment's distraction.

I've lost.

2 comments:

Martha Flynn said...

Just saw a posting you did on Absolute Write and clicked on your blog.

I won't say quit or don't quit - if you want to write then you will - but for me, personally, any success I've had (and yeah, yeah, I'm not published, boo) comes from remaining open and ready to pursue opportunities.

Everyone gets downer days - I hope yours are numbered and you find your love for writing again soon.

Jack Roberts, Annabelle's scribe said...

Thanks.
I'll cheer up. I just need to find my center again and not get lost.

Thank you for the kind words.