As I got to the halfway point in the novel, tightening the POV and showing more, I finally reached the changes I recently did with Annabelle.
At the beginning of Chapter 20 (the Hawke chapter) I wrote two new scenes where we experience Annabelle's awkward advancement from a 10 year old body to a 14 year old body. Then I wrote a couple of telling paragraphs on Roland's age advancement.
Well, once I reached that chapter in my personal read through, I discovered just how much it suffers from the telling of Roland's advancement.
So last night I broke the whole age change scenes into their own chapter. A new chapter 20 where I show Ann's change, the consequences and Roland's change, with some brief consequences. Roland has to be brief (all show, no tell, don't worry) because one of my rules is it's a birthday event and so that means it leads right into the Hawke chapter.
It worked out great because the chapter ends with Roland getting shot by Hawke. Cliffhanger!
I can't wait to read it to the kids in a couple of days.
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