Bite of Story Thursday

Here is a preview of something I'm currently working on, Book Two in the Annabelle series. It's called DARK CHANGES (formally called Dark Trials).

Remember, this is from the rough draft so it does not reflect the final product. Anyway, sit back and enjoy...

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Night Children: Dark Changes
Chapter Seventeen: Chester

Annabelle realized two things at that moment.  She realized she and Thomas had it wrong.  There wasn’t just one vampire in town, or even one group.  There must’ve been more.  Some of them were children, just like her.  Before she could reflect on this her acute senses noticed the other thing.

Another vampire was in the alley now.  The shadows started to shift, revealing the creature.  Annabelle couldn’t tell if it was the same shadow creature as before or a different one.

Chester the ghoul apparently didn’t serve this particular vampire because he screamed, “No!  The Destitute!” 

“Chester, don’t leave.  I still have questions.”  She didn’t follow as he stumbled through the darkness and into the street where the alley let out.  She let him go.  Time to get answers from this creature once and for all.

“All right.  Tell me, who you are.  Chester called you the Destitute.  Is that your name?  Are there more of you?”

If any humans walked into the alley, Annabelle figured they’d be treated to an interesting sight; a little girl in curls, facing a formless creature of nightmares without appearing the least bit scared.  The truth was Annabelle could feel her legs tremor with fear.  She couldn’t let the Destitute realize it.  There was too much at stake.

It just regarded her.  No answers were forthcoming.

“Fine.  Then lead me to your home.  I want to learn about you.”  The creature still remained motionless.

“I’ve come to London to find my brother.  He looks thirteen and he’s a vampire like me.  He’s with a man named Reginald Worthing.  Another vampire.  Have you heard of him?  Have you seen them?”  Still no answer.

“You’ve got to answer me.  Say something.  Anything,” she began to plead, “Please.  Have you seen or heard of them?  Are there more of you?”

As if in answer to her last question, other shadows formed to become another creature.  She knew it was a vampire, but that was all.  It looked exactly the same as the other.

“There are more of you.  Now answer my other question.  Have you seen my brother?”

The Destitute looked at each other, then started to shift back towards the shadows.  Annabelle moved with superhuman speed towards the creatures but in a blink of an eye they were gone, melted away.  She tried to listen for the creatures’ escape but they made no sound.

She yelled to the empty air, “No!” 

Bite of Story Thursday

It's Preview Day on Bite of Story Thursday. Today we're looking at what I'm currently working on.

Lately I'm editing Annabelle's "Book Two" or as it's currently called: DARK CHANGES (formally called Dark Trials).
Remember, this is from the rough draft so it does not reflect the final product. Anyway, sit back and enjoy...

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Chapter Ten, Shanghaied At Sea

An old sensation stirred inside him.  It was a familiar.  Vampires were near.  Several approached from somewhere within the thick mist.  He looked back at Reginald.

“Yes,” Reginald replied with a smile, “Now you’re beginning to understand.” 

“Bloody hell.  What’s going on?” one of the crewmen asked, his gruff voice laced with fear .  He looked around to examine the strange fog as it surrounded the ship.  He ran to alert the other crewmembers.

Roland was alarmed, “Should we let him?  He’ll expose--”

“My friends’ arrival was never meant to be a secret.” 

The ship suddenly rocked back.  Loud voices called through the night air.  The heavy mist started to break away. 

With no noise to announce it’s arrival, a large ship sat on the south side.  It was painted black and reminded Roland of the carriage Eliza used back home.  The striking difference was the dark red that seemed to be stained all over the ship.  A closer look revealed that the stains seemed to be scratched into the wood.  It was clear by the inviting smell that it was blood.

Several strange figures dressed in buccaneer clothes jumped onto the ship.  The crew on deck was instantly killed as the oncoming pirates showed off their pointy fangs.  The men down below deck charged up, only to be assaulted by these fearsome creatures.

“They’re pirate vampires,” Roland couldn’t help state the obvious.

“We prefer the term Bloody-Buccaneers.  It has a sort of nice ring to it.”  Reginald grabbed a crewman who was running by and swiftly sank his teeth into the man’s neck.  He drained the man and dropped him to the ground in one swift motion.

Night Children: Dark Trials On Hold

I thought I'd give a quick post to let everyone know that the second book in the Night Children series, DARK TRIALS, is on hold for roughly a year.

I'm truly sorry about this. I realise some of you have enjoyed Annabelle and Roland's adventures and I promise there will be more. But life being what it is, I was thrown a large curve ball back in February.

Not only had I thought it was time to move my family to another state, (which I found out it wasn't the right time for the move), but I got the reviews for Dark Trials at that point as well.

When we write books, we're so ingrained in our little worlds we have no clue the large problems that sit in plain sight. I have characters and situations that never had any resolutions, logic problems in certain situations, and other things like that in need of repair. I need to re-read it, go through the story, reshape it to flow better and make more sense. I'll cut entire scenes and change some character directions. Some problems will need deeper thoughts.

One review hurt really bad. I guess I got what I deserved. Not too long ago I reviewed another critique group member's manuscript. I was honest. Brutally honest. I hurt her and she was greatly offended. I suspect she still is raw about the event. I never wanted to hurt her, just be honest about my thoughts on the book. I see now I should have had more tact.

I've had raw reviews before. Ones that hurt really bad. Time does heal all wounds and in time I saw much of what they said. That doesn't mean I turned my manuscript to their vision, but thanks to a professional editor, I discovered the problems those toxic reviews were trying to show me. Doesn't mean Dark Birth is perfect but I still stand by my decision that it's ready.

Well, a different member of our critique group gave me a toxic review. I guess I had it coming, after how I treated the other critique member. I mean it really hit me hard. I still believe in my heart some of her stronger points are just her opinions. I believe that she is not the right audience and may not understand the audience as much as she thinks.

But what of I'm wrong? What if I have something that needs certain changes or it will be unfit for my audience?  As the author, I'm forever too close to tell, I think.

See? I still feel uncertain about the whole thing. That's why my preview posts stopped. I no longer posted bits from Dark Birth or Dark Threats. I no longer posted character biographies from the Night Children universe. I didn't actively search out speaking engagements, I stopped promoting my books on Amazon. I stopped everything.

If I could not trust whether my second book was appropriate for Middle Grade readers, than maybe everything I've written wasn't appropriate either. She'd read Dark Threats but she never read Dark Birth and there were things in that book just as questionable.

I guess I should name the elephant in the room. I was told that Dark Trials was too dark for Middle Grade (11-14) readers. That is was horrific. I still do not know if that's true.

Here we are, months later, and I tried to read her review but all I can feel as I read it is that I'm a terrible author and shouldn't even try anymore. Does she say that? Heavens no! She is a friend and was only trying to help. She never brings down my writing. But how she responds to my supposed horrific scenes makes me question myself. That's my personal garbage to work through, not her.

So you can see why I've had such a pause.

Becoming an author is a tender tight rope of almost falls and positive balances. As I've stated before, I found my mojo again in the form of Multi-Mart. A new story and fresh start. But this story is a trick, because it involved other stories, including the Night Children series. So now I'm on the chapter that ties Dark Threats to the Multi-Mart continuity. This means I've had to reread parts of Dark Threats and feel what those stories make me feel. It also reminds me of those few who have read Dark Birth and Dark Threats, and how that like Annabelle and Roland and want more. Heck, I still want more.

So carefully, timidly, I am starting to climb back. I will continue to work on Multi-Mart and Myths, but I'm starting to think about Dark Trials and what I need to do. Will I remove the dark stuff inside? Not completely, but I will look at it and see what would be best.

I guess I need someone who is 11-14 years old and likes Middle Grade books (Early Harry Potter, Percy Jackson, Kane Chronicles, Vampire Assistant) to read it. Or at least someone who reads a lot of those types of books.

I'm not trying to put the Night Children though Deseret Book or Shadow Mountain. It doesn't need to be read in Sacrament meeting or at church. But I don't want to do Steven King, either. I do want it to be appropriate for Junior High School readers. Heck, I know it's not as dark as the Hunger Games series and those Young Adult books are in the Junior High.

So Dark Trials is on hold, but I am coming back. Watch this space for more to come.

Bite of Story Thursday

Night Children: Dark Trials
Chapter Twelve

It took the Bloodfeast three weeks to finally approach its isle home. During that time, they would feed on the surviving Sea Wing crewmembers. Roland didn’t want to be tossed overboard so he ignored the helpless human’s desperate pleas. He avoided their desperate eyes, even though their cries for help ripped his soul apart.


Roland watched the crew unload the stolen goods onto the dock. They seemed to gaze at their Captain with a mix of fear and respect as he forcefully shouted commands.

The sounds of excited people drew him to the shore. The port looked normal. He could sense vampires nearby but it was probably the crew. He wondered what new adventures this place would bring. An unnaturally strong hand gripped onto his shoulder and spun him around. Blood-Eyed Bill glared, his dark red eyes skewered him like two hot pokers.

“It was a mistake to bring you,” his voice deep as a powerful drum, “You shouldn’t be a vampire. You’re too small. Too young. One day he won’t be able to protect you.”

Roland wanted to scratch the fool’s eyes. Prove his merit. Instead of causing a fight he might not win, he simply brushed off Bill’s hand with an equally strong push.

“Touch me again and I’ll make you Black-Eyed Bill,” he snarled. So did Bill.

Night Children: Dark Trials is ready for the crit group!

I belong to a local critique group. We review each other's books, give advice where needed to make the books stronger and support each other in our endeavours. Sometimes we're brutally honest. It's hard but necessary.

Dark Trials is the second book in the Night Children series. When I first wrote the rough draft for what would become Dark Birth, I actually had a great deal of Dark Trials in it too. I later broke the books in two.

A friend at work read Dark Trials and liked it. He was the only one so far. Now it's time for the group to review it. They'll read it this month and in February we'll discuss it. I expect some parts to entertain them but I know there are unknown problems throughout it. There always are things that I think are OK but I later find out it didn't quite work.

I know I'll be hating some of the things I hear but it's necessary. It's part of the journey that I need to do.

Bite of Story Thursday

Night Children: Dark Trials
Chapter Five

She caught a glimpse of Eliza. The men held her tight, pulling her to the center of town. Why didn’t she try to defend herself? Annabelle punched and scratched her way to Eliza. The angry shouts and constant attacks from her attackers made it impossible to concentrate. If she could think for long enough to change her form or mesmerize the mob, Annabelle might be able to rescue Eliza and escape.


Where are Roland and Thomas? she thought in panic.

Henry continued to shout over the mob, “Reginald Worthing told me they were killing Johnny. He said they lied to me and they’ve always served the devil.”

The crowd of hostile villagers tripled in size. Men were joined by their wives, fathers by their sons. Annabelle wondered if the entire town had gone insane. Other voices joined Henry: “We have to stop them before they kill everyone in town.” “Don’t let them murder our children.” “Let’s hang them at the town square.”

Henry shouted over the mob, “Hanging won’t work. We’ve got to burn them!”

Her body tired and her mind in panic, Annabelle couldn’t stop the mob from dragging her after Eliza. Bloodthirsty cheers roared in her ears while her voice was raw with all her screaming.

Night Children: Dark Birth News!

All sorts of news about THE book.

Night Children: Dark Birth is my first novel. "Wait Scott, wasn't Dark Threats your first one?"

Actually no. Seven years this month I watched Interview With a Vampire and found myself searching for something. Days later I found it as I tried to write my own vampire child story and Annabelle walked out of my imagination and onto paper.

Years of beta readers, critique groups, 6th and 8th grade classes, a professional editor and several drafts brought me to the current version of this novel. 

Dark Threats is one chapter removed from that original novel plus a lot of new stuff written just for the my debut  into the world of eBooks. Threats is a collection of short stories to introduce people to the world of Annabelle and Roland.

Months ago I decided to break the first novel into two books; Dark Birth and Dark Trials. Last Friday I changed my mind. This story stands better as one.

I've gone through and formatted it for online publishing. I had some troubles but I finally mastered it last night. I uploaded it to Smashwords and it's available there.

Dark Birth on Smashwords!

I wont reveal it to Facebook and Twitter yet because I'm waiting for it to be reviewed by the Smashwords team for any format errors.  Once it's good, I'll load it on Amazon and Barns & Noble.com.

Also, thanks to my Highland-loving coworker and pal, Don Phillips, I have a pic that has been used for the cover.

So much going on! I can't wait for you to read my real first book, Annabelle and Roland's origin story! Hope you like it!

New titles!

More Big news!


I’ve decided to change the title of my Annabelle books. In keeping with my upcoming eBook launch and the fact that “Book One” is now Books one and two, I’ve re-titled almost everything.

See, when I was writing this book I turned to Rowling for inspiration on a title. She had “Harry Potter and the…” for every title so I picked “Annabelle and Roland…” for my titles. It was easy and told the reader who the protags were.

Since I’m in charge of this whole launch, it rises and falls based entirely on me. This has made me rethink a lot of things and cleared my brain quite a bit.

Boiling things down to their basic core, this entire series really is about the life of vampire children or “night children”. So without further ado, the new titles planned are…

NIGHT CHILDREN: DARK THREATS (Brief looks into Annabelle’s adventures, a short story)

NIGHT CHILDREN: DARK BIRTH (How two children from England became vampires in Colonial America)

NIGHT CHILDREN: DARK TRIALS (The vampire children face werewolves, vampires a vampire hunter and the Salem Witch Trials, as well as a confrontation with Dominic, the vampire lord who killed their parents)

All three will be published soon on Smashwords, the Nook and the Kindle.

Meanwhile I’ll be taking the next installments (DARK SEAS AND SHADOWS) and breaking it into two as well as running it through the critique group when we restart this fall.

Watch this space!