Marvel/DC: After Hours #6

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Spider-Man 3 How It Should Have Ended

Update on things

We saved the house. Now to get back to regular things and strive to keep things normal. At least what passes for it in our lives.


Tuesday night (all night) I was in the emergency room with my Katie. She has the stomach flu. She wasn’t improving (her blood pressure was dropping down and she remained pale despite a whole bag of water that went through her IV). They checked her in to the hospital and at 4:30 am (a ½ hour before I would get up for work) I went home to sleep for a bit while Janeen took over Katie Watch.
Later I took over and remained at the hospital till 7:30pm when she was released. She’s much better but we found out she’s anemic. They prescribed iron pills and sent us home.

Now I’m going to walk the dogs and then come home. If I have time to read some PV stories so I don’t get farther behind and so some of our fine writers get appropriate kuddos for their hard work, I will. Not sure if there is time. Another sad thing is that I just don’t have time to edit the book today. Several authors (including Stephanie Meyers) say to write every day and I didn’t do that today. Grr.

Speaking of Stephanie Meyers, with all that time at the emergency room last night, I was able to finish Twilight. It was a good book that kept me reading. I’ve observed a lot of showing instead of telling. This helps me in finding how I can show in my own way. I was disappointed with the ending, but a lot of that is because my muse has me thinking in one direction and she didn’t go that way. Just in time, Phillip Pullman’s The Subtle Knife (part two of His Dark Materials) arrived at the library. Now I can continue with that. Twilight’s sequel, New Moon, is due soon too.

I guess I’ll have reading material for my trip to California next week. For those of you out of the States, I live in Utah and California is two States away. My work is sending me to Huntington Beach (that’s Southern California) for training. I’ll have free evenings and besides looking for souvenirs and walking on the beach, I’m going to use the hotel guest computer to work on editing the novel as well as penning a PV story.

And that’s the news. :)

ItsJustSomeRandomGuy does it again...

Vampire writing music

I’ve been meaning to respond to a “music as writing inspiration” thread for a year but just haven’t made the time!

When I’m actually writing, sometimes music distracts me but there are some tunes that build up my excitement and keep me going.
Normally, though, I don’t listen when I’m writing or editing.

I’m a CAD Drafter by way of day job. I try to listen to music constantly. There are certain fast songs (like Evanescence “My Immortal” and “Bring me to life” that get me in the mood for Annabelle.
Some time ago I did a search for vampire music and found a lot. I also added several non-vampire movie themes that speak to me.

When I hear the Edward Scissorhands theme, at first I see the children in their dark cloaks, pale faces and bright red hair and eyes, following Eliza (their adoptive mother and vampire mentor) through the Colonial town at night. Then the song changes tempo and I see Annabelle dancing in the light of the full moon, as well as flying with the boy she loves, Thomas.

When I hear “Love Song for a Vampire” by Annie Lennox I see Eliza, biting the near dead children and turning them into what she is. I see her sorrow for them, and hope for them and the future they must save.

“The Kraken” from the Pirates of the Caribbean II soundtrack, gives me thoughts of Dominic and his evil majesty. I see his armies of night creatures, his mad devotion to his three black eternal goals and feel the pure, deep, forever evil seething within. The power. The arrogance. How could two simple children ever hope to stop his plan?

From the play “Dance of the Vampires”, the song “Carpe Noctem” always shows me the final battle at the end of the series. Taking place in whatever year the book comes out, I see Annabelle and Roland, now generals and leaders of their army, putting up the last line of defense with all their friends and allies against the massive armies at Dominic’s control.

It goes on and on. The Cocteau Twins – “Music For Vampires” is the children as little bats, hunting in the night. ”Journey To Transylvania” from the “Van Helsing” soundtrack shows me a different carriage ride than the one it was written for. It shows Annabelle, Thomas and Eliza in their desperate chase to rescue Roland from that gruff vampire-trapper Fenroth (and I don’t mean he traps vampires, I mean he is a trapper from pre-Colonial days who is also a vampire, and one of Dominic’s right hand men).

Music just excites me and drives the desires onward. I’m glad I finally took the time to share this with you guys.

A poem to discribe my thoughts

Oh bright ball of lunar majesty! You sit in the heavens, full of illuminating power!
As I walk the streets of man, my faithful beasts at my side, I wonder at your glow.
I hear her behind your glory.
If she were real she’d be dancing beneath you. If she were real she’s stroll much like I did, listening to the nightlife and thirsting for more.
I hear her in every cricket chirp.
I see her in every shadow.
I feel her in the glow of that beautiful moon.

So why do I not heed her strong influence once more? Why dose my Chapter Eight, and all it’s sisters, remain unedited?

Exhaustion. The frail body cannot keep up with life’s demands.

But I must return. Tomorrow I hope to return. She must be headed. I will serve her tempting, addictive call.

Chocolate Rain by Chad Vader

Marvel/DC: After Hours #5

Chad Vader update

SIXTH EDITS!

I'm going to bring in the old chapter 5 (where Dominic shows up at the house) and I need to polish and refine the prose. This will be an extensive reread where I try and check that the reader can really feel whats going on.

I got a review from a published vampire author. I like what she said and it goes along with what that one rejection said, but it's put in a better, helpful way.

The Golden Compass

I saw the preview and decided to treat this movie (and another one, the Spiderwick Chronicles) like I treated Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings in 2001.
Back then I saw the previews for both movies and decided to read the books to know ahead of time what the stories were truly like. This way I could enjoy the movie even more.

It worked great for both those so I'm doing it again. I read the first four Spiderwicks (they're small) and while waiting for book five from the library I started on Golden Compass. I like Spiderwick, but I think I like Compass more.

Originally published in England as the Northern Lights, this is the first of a trilogy. It's about a girl in a parallel Earth who has to go on a quest and do all sorts of stuff. You know me, I like my spunky, adventurous girls (Annabelle) so I'm totally eating it up.

At first I wasn't to enamoured with Lyra only because she's a bit crass sometimes, but as a writer I can see that Phillip Pullman did that to give her room to grow in the series.

In this world every human who ever lived has a Deamon. These are shape shifting creatures who share every emotion and physical feeling with their human. Lyra's Deamon is Pantalaimon. I really like him. He's my favorite character. Sometimes he reminds me of Adam's "Fleabot", but not rude.

This preview shows him a bit more than the other. It's from the Comic Con.






Pretty sweet, huh?

I hope we're out of our crisis by December. I REALLY want to see this.

At the moment I'm about half way through the first book. I need to get back to reading.

An accounting of my submissions so far...

Started October 06- present (August 07)

1 request for a full. (Among the rejected)
6 requests for partials (5 among the rejected)
1 full submission to a publisher (among the rejected)
59 Rejections total

32 electronic submissions still out there. 11 since last March)
9 snail mail submissions still out there. (8 since last March)
1 full soon to be submission to a publisher going out next payday.


I discovered as I compiled this list that I still had a request for a partial since last October that was still out there. I’ve gone through three revisions since then. The first five chapters (most of which were slow intro chapters and a first chapter that, while quick and hooky, was back-story) have been removed since then! Huh. I emailed him to ask if he wanted the new chapters. I expect a rejection but still!

100 submissions so far. Not bad.

JK Rowling web chat transcript now online

Lot's of info on the behind the scenes stuff for books 6 and 7. Take a look.


Here’s the transcript as seen on Mugglenet. BIG SPOILERS FOR BOOK 7

Request for a full, hmm, worry...

I'm done with the 5th edits and now I'm submitting again.

I've got four email submissions out (two more back, instantly rejected), two more as snail mails and...

A full.

Not sure about this one though. Here's why and advice needed.


I was at the local fair and discovered an author signing her cook books. I asked who her agent was. She didn't have one but she gave me the name of a contact person for a small publisher here in Utah.


Cedar Fork Inc


I called the guy and talked of my book, my passion and the kids and betas who loved it. He's more than happy to look at the manuscript.

It's a small publisher, though.


As some of you might remember, I asked about jumping in with a small press.


Here's the link...


http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=44643&highlight=Shadow+Mountain


I'm still concerned. I've "only" been looking for a year and as you guys know, that’s small potatoes. Feels like forever. Still I hear about how authors start out with small publishers, then after a bit they sell to bigger ones. I believe JK and the Eragon writer both did this.


I want Annabelle everywhere, not just in Utah. It's for any young adult audience. Of course, it's not LDS and this small publisher seems to focus on LDS, so it'll probably be rejected. I did send in to Shadow Mountain last October. It was rejected.


I guess I still have fears that it wont get very far with a small timer and since I have no agent I will get shafted in the deal.


Yet I hear that it's easier to get an agent if you have a publisher already. Kind of like you've done their work for them. And I do need a foot in the door.

Look at me, putting the cart before the horse.

I put this in "Goals and Accomplishments" because it's kind of exciting to me that some one will be looking at the whole book. And this is the version where we begin in the thick of the main plot.

Wish me luck and if anyone has more advice on the good/bad of small publishers please let me know.

5th edits done

I cant cut any more from the front. Sure, I could cut the kidnappers and the school house, but why?

This version is the best. I know there still will be more edits, but I'm happy.

I sent out five submissions to lit agents today. Got two more rejections. That means three plus the one from the 31st of July combine to make four submissions.

So four out there. I want to send out two more tomorrow by mail. That would make six. It's not the goal of twenty, but I cant send the rest next week.

I'm a drop in a large bucket. Chances of striking gold is crazy, but I feel good about it. There were those who were interested in the past. Maybe I'll hook more and maybe, just maybe, I'll get to keep one.

Too static, feeling better

Saundra Mitchell posted the best reply on Absolute Write.

"When my agent and I were cleaning up a manuscript for submission, she said something to me that has stuck with me ever since, referring to the big hook of the introduction: "Page 54 is too late."

So if your real story doesn't start until Chapter Three, then Chaps 1 and 2 may be full of action and motion, but they're static because the story hasn't started yet, perhaps?"

My real story starts in chapter 5 or 6.

I'm getting some ideeeeas.

Too static part two

I posted the following on AW (Absolute Write).

It gives my feelings right now.

----

Thanks guys. Not a bad idea. He only looked at the first three chapters. Chapter one is constantly in motion, but two gives time to figure who the main characters are and the world they live in. Chapter three has them discovering the spooky plot.

Maybe I'll take the real changing event of the book and put it in the front. Maybe I should take that important second chapter of info, and spread it out.

I just don't get it. I read other author's books. I read their first ones, the ones that they sold and gained the agents and publishers from. I read those and I see boring second and third chapters with info dumps and everything else. How did they get accepted?
Meanwhile, people tell me they love my book and can't put it down, yet it gets rejected from agents again and again.

I've changed and changed and changed. I've been told to alter things by one beta to the point that it would no longer be my dream anymore. The kids liked it. People I only met through looking for betas liked it. Yet no agent wants it.

Maybe they're too picky? Maybe I'm not giving enough of the dream up? Maybe I have changed too much? Maybe I've changed enough? It took JK ten years from concept to publish. Will I be 50 when it's published? IF it's published? Am I fooling myself? Am I jumping the gun with my concerns?

Should I skip the agents? Should I write them all off as too jaded and untrusting and move onto publishers? But then I'll run out of publishers.

On one hand I believe this will make it. On the other I wonder if I'm fooling myself. I started to submit last fall and after several requests I'm still left cold. And I can't even trust what they say. One agent told me vampire fiction was past it's time, yet others wanted it and I see vampire fiction selling. So if I can't trust them, who can I trust? Maybe a interested agent who wants to give me a real chance is as real as the tooth fairy.

WHEN? WHO?
WHY do I feel, deep down, like this will be ok? WHY? Why is it so... dang...hard?

GAAAAHHHH!

Too static?

Got a rejection from the agent I was hoping for.

"Thanks for giving me a look, but I'll pass on Anabelle and Roland. I still like the idea, but your prose feels too static. Try reading your work out loud to establish flow."

I thought it WAS moving? Maybe chapter 2 is still killing me. I rewrote it, changed it and shrunk it. If I do too much I won't be able to give the necessary info.

Sigh.

I'll reread through it aloud, but I'm losing hope.

All Good things… my review of the last Potter; Spoilers Plenty!

Whew! What a ride!

I started interest in the Potterverse in ’01. The movie was coming out (as was Lord of the Rings) and I wanted to read the book so I could properly judge the film before I saw it.

I picked up the first Harry Potter and couldn’t put it down. I had checked it out from the local library, devoured it on the bus to work, at lunch, before and after work. I could not get enough. I then picked up the second, third and finally the fourth. I remember when I finished the first book at 9 pm. My wife was asleep at the house was very quiet. I can still feel the quiet, peaceful urge to just slip back in to that wonderful universe.

By the time I got in line for the first movie I had become a Potter nut. I was so excited to see so much from the new book I loved on the screen. I enjoyed each movie as they came out (and will do the same for the last two). I lamented the stuff that was cut and enjoyed the stuff that we did see.

When the fifth book came out I heard of the 12:00 lines but I blew them off. I went in the next day and to my horror it was sold out at the local Wal Mart. We searched in the city and found one copy at a Wal Mart in there. I remember taking the book home and reading it to the kids. I couldn’t finish the reading because they all drifted off. My eldest doesn’t like reading and lost interest. She’d rather see the movies. My other kids got distracted. I still remember using different voices for the characters. This is why movie five was so surreal to me.

When book six came out I was wiser. I arrived at Wal Mart an hour ahead. The kids came along cause it’s fun to go to the store at midnight. We got the book and brought it home. They didn’t want me to read it, but they did want spoilers. During the same week it came out, my little David needed his next plastic surgery. My wife and I stayed at the hospital the three days he was there. I had plenty of time to read it. I remember watching Dumbledore dying while reading in one of the hospital bathrooms at 1 am.
As some of you know, I was writing my first book at this time and made the stupid mistake of comparing my rough draft to JKR’s 6th book. Dumb. But thanks to several people, I woke up, took a good look and fixed things.

I have no bad comparison feelings this time. JKR is JKR and I am me. Several have expressed a desire to see more of my world and I firmly believe in the work. If anything, reading book 7 just gets me more excited to continue the good fight.

Wow, I’m long winded. Sorry. It’s just that the Potterverse has formed a strong place in my heart. It’s hard to see it go but all good things have to end. If they don’t then they grow stale or get convoluted (like Marvel and DC have done).

My thoughts on book 7?
First off, it began strong. In one of the few times in the entire series, we start from a different perspective than Harry. Nice, strong beginning with a look in on the bad guys. Then we finish the Dursleys. What a strong start! There was humor and drama. I was at a loss and had to reread Hedwig’s death to make sure I read it right. She made us think Hagrid was dead and that had me on my seat. The loss of George’s ear was shocking and their ability to land on their feet was a good show.

Things continued very well. I loved Ginny’s birthday present to Harry and Ron’s clear affection to Hermione. I was shocked at Moody’s death and bewildered that “Year Seven at Hogwarts” wasn’t at Hogwarts. Then, when the trio are doing nothing and suffering the evil of the Ring (I mean the necklace), I was turning sour. It seemed to drag.

But then it was a trip to the Malfoys and it picked up very fast. I couldn’t put it down! Dobby’s stuff got to me, the Vault stuff was fun and the revelations about Dumbledore and his brother was enlightening.

I really enjoyed how many revelations came one after the other. Each big reveal scene was spaced between plenty of action scenes and lots of old friends returning.
The Battle of Hogwarts (so many came back! Fred, Lupin, Tonks and Colen Creevy all died! No! Not one of the twins!), Hermione and Ron finally hooking up (BOUT FLIPPIN TIME!), the reveal of Snape (I knew it!) and finally to discover that Harry was in fact the seventh horcrux (just as Emerson of Mugglenet predicted).

When it was discovered that Harry had to die I suspected (since the Dumbledore in the Pensieve closed his eyes) that there was more to the story, but I still felt like “Feh. Ok. Whatever. He’s had a life time of pain but… feh.” It was nice (and another confirmation to my predictions) when we saw Harry’s parents, Lupin and Sirius again. That links into that line from Luna (things we lose have a funny way of turning up).
But my suspicions were correct. Harry wouldn’t die! And what a bang up, smash up final! I was wrong. Nevil didn’t give his life. I liked his heroic moments far better.
They CAN’T cut anything from the battle for the movie. Cut out most of the wandering trio, just not the battle.
I figured the Epilogue would be with the older Harry & Ginny Potter, Ron & Hermione Weasley and all the kids. Perfect.
So Harry was born in 1980, the books took place from 1991-1997, and the “19 years later” epilouge took place last year. That means this year is Albus Severus Potter and Rose Weasley’s second year at Hogwarts. I can hear the fan fic keyboards typing already.

A fitting end to a wonder experience. It is my fondest wish, dream and life goal to bring that much joy to people in the future.

“Good Ol’ JK!” Thanks!