Just tired

Sorry for the depressed entry yesterday. Maybe a lot of my problem is that I'm tired from a busier - than - usual work load.

I need to get back on the saddle. Don't get me wrong, my fears and frustrations are still here. It's just that writing is in my blood and I couldn't stop if I tried.

OK. 1st off, I need to apply the points from Absolute Write I can't argue. The query never got the "un-stiffen treatment" my novel got. I need to reinvent it again. Clean it up and send it out. This includes clarifying the dangers, motivations and deepening Ann's voice in the query.

2nd, I need to schedule time each night for some writing activity.

That's all for now. Gotta get to work.

Quit?

I'm so tired. People talk about my word count being too big. They tell me I'm Middle Grade. They tell me a lot. I try and try but they still tell me things.

And who are they? Most aren't published. They quote rules and say everyone is an exception but I'd be stupid to buck the system. I choke on advice.

And published authors? Do they follow me? They add me on Twitter or follow me on Absolute Write, but never think to help me. They live the dream but I'm not worth it.

Everyone says "Don't quit" but why? I'm sick of it.

My fire has finally gone out. I never have the time required to work on the craft and when I do it's the same road blocks. Maybe I'll never learn. Maybe I'm a fool.

What the hell was I thinking?

Annabelle's no good. I'm no good.

All I wanted was to share her. Maybe lift kids up or allow them a moment's distraction.

I've lost.

42

GAH!

Ah well. It was a nice birthday. We had balloons, a great cake, a wonderful dinner and some relaxation with the fam. They even cleaned the house for me. Very nice of them! Days like this makes me feel special.

Love you guys!

Thoughts on work after the contract

"Prepare Yourself for Success" by Rachelle Gardner, Literary Agent.

http://cba-ramblings.blogspot.com/2009/03/prepare-yourself-for-success.html


Whew! When I read this I got depressed. I know my family would support me, but so much work will come! Am I ready? No. Will I be? No clue.

I've got to get ready.

Last night I took a long walk, pondering the fearful future that a writing contract would mean while at the same time pondering all my resent rejections and the possibility that maybe no one wants Annabelle. Well after all that swimming in my head I was ready to throw in the towel.

But I took a deep look inside me. I thought of what it would mean to not be published. What if it never happened? What if I did quit?

I realized that I can't stop the stories. If I never planned on getting them out there, if I never had a reason to perfect the craft, I'd still gravitate towards the Parodyverse or other sites where I could write.

Why?

Because many, many stories run through my head. Everything and anything sets them up and they create on their own. Maybe I'm codependent but I have this wild need (ever sense I discovered writing for others) to share my stories.

So if I quit this foolish dream where I only half get what would really happen if I became a published author, if I quit this, I'd still write stories. Only after all is said and done, I'd think on the few requests I got back in '06 and wonder. What if?

I'm not going to quit. I'm considerably pessimistic about the whole thing, but I wont quit.

Truth is, Rachelle Gardner is correct. If a miracle happens and I do get a contract, there will be deadlines just to name one problem. Deadlines while striving to keep my full time job and still know my family.
What I can do now is help my future self by getting an extra jump on those deadlines and perfecting the craft.

Book two of Annabelle needs heavy editing.
My "store" project needs to be written.
My "fantasy" project needs to be written.
Book 3 of Annabelle needs to be both edited and written.

I've got a long way to go so and only evenings and weekends to do it. I need to make a schedule. Pick certain days and weeks to work on writing, editing and submitting.

More later as I try this.

Eath-23 was uncharted!

Watch out regular readers, I'm going to geek out for a moment...


Just watched Batman Brave and the Bold. He teems up with Red Hood from an unnamed Earth (who we know is the Joker of that world) to fight the Injustice Syndicate.

At the beginning of the episode Red Hood sends out a calling card to Earth-23. After the commercial, we're back in the regular Brave and the Bold universe where we finally see the Bat cave get to see several tributes to the Batman concepts. Bats finds Red Hood's marker.

So now it's official! The Brave and the Bold cartoon takes place on Earth-23. Being a grade- A nerd, I had to check the running list to see if Earth-23 had been charted under the current 52 Earths...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_DC_Multiverse_worlds

If you scroll down to "The 52" (that's the current Multiverse for DC Comics) you'll see that Earth-22 is home to the Kingdom Come world and Earth-26 is Captain Carrot's Earth. 23-25 is uncharted!

So this is the first ever cartoon to comic official crossover. I mean I realize they never went to the other worlds, but they get a number. I personally think that's cool.

Now I'm not sure what Earth this toon version of the Crime Syndicate are from, but it could be Earth-24. That still leaves room for others.

In the last scene of the preview you see Brave and the Bold Bats fighting another Batman. Sure, it's probably Owlman in disguise, but look closely at the colors. The blue is darker, there is more shadow and the gray is a tiny bit darker. It looks just like Batman from the Batman Animated series. They wouldn't dare. Would they? I would go crazy excited if they did.

I should say this episode was great. From the bad heroes vs good villains to the tributes to Adam West Bats and Micheal Keaton Bats. They even through in a tribute to Marvel Zombies (a concept I never liked). Earth 161 was the zombie world but the real Marvel Universe is Earth 616. Get it? OK, you had to be there.

It'll be great to see Joker next week as he'll be the first Bat villain we've had (except Kite Man).


... ok, geeking moment done.

40 Inspirational Speeches in 2 Minutes

Harry Potter 6 Set Visit

Marvel Legends RIP

Looking at Hasbro's display pics for both the NY Comic Con and the Toy Fair, seems Hasbro has decided to go in different directions.

It sucks that we never got a better Scarlet Witch or Ultron. It sucks that there are several figures we'll never get (so many from Klaw to Captain Marvel II). It sucks we'll never see so many Build-a-figures we'd want, like a quinjet or Eternity or Grandmaster.

But with the economy as bad as it is, and so much goodness from the DC side of the fence, I probably couldn't afford any more anyway.

I've settled myself to getting Tigra and Nova. I hope they still plan on selling them at retail. Online will sky rocket if Wal-Mart doesn't get Tigra's assortment.

Ah well. We got way more than we ever dreamed we ever would. Thank you Toy Biz and Hasbro. Shame it died, but it was a fun ride.

Twitter Updates ------->

I hope you silent watchers are watching my Twitter Updates over there on the right side. I may not keep this blog as updated as I should, or cover all the things that go on in my life here, but I do there. I update Twitter at least 3 times a day.
Why so much? Because it's fast and easy. Two things I like in a quick journal entry.

Update

More submissions sent, couple more standard rejections.
Rewriting chapter one of book two, since it needs it badly.

YES!

One of the agents I had sent it to before wants to see it again!
GAAAHHH!
I'm so excited!

I need to calm down. Must expect a rejection.

But I've worked so hard all year and everything this last year. This was the agent who called the prior version "unnatural in places". I've worked that out. At least I think so. Sherry told me some of the first chapters still may have that feel. I hope not!
Anyway, I'm going to be insane now.

GAHHHHHH!

My muse got carried away last night...

On Twitter there are lots of fake accounts. Everyone from Darth Vader to Alfred Pennyworth to Bigfoot have Twitter accounts. This means somewhere there is somebody who is pretending to be their favorite characters and twitting stuff. In my opinion these are fun to read and I like some of them.

I'm following almost the entire cast of the Twilight book series. Every night "they" get into it. They work off each other, acting in character and relating to each other that way. It seems several of them are now following me. It always makes me feel good to get followers (except spam).

So last night "they" had a story where Victoria was casing the house and the various cast members were reacting. At first I replied with questions and statements as me, the author of Annabelle.

Then once again "she" wanted to play. I created an account for Annabelle...

http://twitter.com/Annabelle_vamp

Last night "she" traded snarky remarks with the Twilight evil child vamp, Jane. Annabelle also had friendly conversations with Jacob the werewolf and Renesme, the daughter of Edward and Bella.

It was fun but I don't think I'll do it too much. I should be working on the synopsis. I still got to get Ann out into the world proper.

Who is Doctor Impossible?

My sweetheart bought me a complete set of DC Universe Classics assortment 6 last week. It sure means a lot to me.

As I look over Doctor Impossible, a brand new villain who just popped up in the pages of Justice League America, I can't help but think of his mystery.

No one knows who he is. Some of the stories are that he's Mister Miracle's brother or a goon who works for the Penguin. In my mind those answers ar boring and are there to throw people off.

In Superman Batman Vengeance we meet a female Mister Miracle from an alternate Earth where everyone is the opposite sex. She used a "Father Box".
There is now a new Earth 3 where all the heroes are villains and vice a versa.
I think Dr. Impossible, an escape artist on his universe (Earth 3), escaped to the Female/male Earth and stole a Father Box. I think he's hiding in the main universe.

At least I hope that's what it is. Because it could mean a follow up, maybe with both the JLA and JSA where they visit lots of Earths and we meet the JLAs from both those universes.

Well, it'd be fun.

A treat for Willard...

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

Query Complete!

Finished the query letter this morn! After a year break from submitting, my old query looked new (and in some places, bogged down).
I cut all the crap that isn’t important and focused on the stuff this novel is really about. I also kept the things Snark taught me.
I’ve sent it to some betas for a look, then it’ll be ready.
Now to work on the synopsis.

What's next?

While I'm chatty, and since the monsters are dwelling on the Nick channel, I thought I'd put down my next plans.

Annabelle isn't gone. Last Feb I received more of the same rejections. Yup. Tale as old as time. Author just doesn't get what the betas are saying and all the agents keep rejecting.

So I took a year off from submitting. Willard introduced me to Michelle's critique group, then when the time didn't work out for me he helped me start my own. Chapter after chapter my new collection of betas ripped it to shreds while I followed along with a dust pan, cleaning, fixing and then strapping on skates and trying to fix my messes before they saw them. I learned a lot and when I look over old beta notes from Chris, Aprilynne, Night Author or others I slap my head and say "They knew, how come I didn't hear them". Still I was finally listening.

Is it perfect? Heck no. Some think I should go one way, others thing another. Maybe I'm still a fool for some of my decisions. No clue. But as for actual writing mistakes. Things like passive words, telling instead of showing, following up on clues I left, etc, etc, well I ironed all that out.

There are five chaps of hand written mark ups fro0m Christy that still need applying. There are still more passive words that need to be searched out and changed into more telling.

Then it'll be "finished". This means submitting and resubmitting can begin in February. I'll start making noise again and getting her out there.

Yes, I'm pessimistic or realistic. In a year I'll probably still be just a dreamer. But I cant sit in a turkey coup and be satisfied when I know this story is an eagle and deserves to fly. So it'll be time to attack.

Meanwhile, I'll rework book 2. Ouch it's ugly. Sure, it's done, but it's ugly. Not fit for human eyes. Only Chris has seen the entire thing. Only Steven has seen sample chaps. It's wrong and needs serous edits. But that's going to be so fun. The stand alone revised ending to book 1 has allowed for a much better chapter 1 of book two. Heck, Usha gets to cameo!

Usha, for those who don't know, is the opposite. See, the idea of Annabelle was that she is the opposite of Claudia from Interview With A Vampire. Well, Usha is the opposite of Annabelle. But she's not Claudia.

OK, sorry. Got carried away. Anyway, I'm going to edit book 2 while subbing book 1. I'm also going to go deeper into world building my other novel. Yes, there ARE other novels that don't involve vampires.

So I'm excited. I can finally move forward!

Somebody's watching me!

Yup, I'm quoting Rockwell from his old 80's song.

I accidentally sent an email to one of my past beta readers and she replied back, saying "Hi"! Turns out she's been lurking. That's great! I do worry that some of my more grouchy moments have come forth too, but it's still wonderful that there are people out there.

Meanwhile, the author of Fablehaven started following me on Twitter. Yes, I finally was able to sit down and read his second book. But that doesn't mean I contacted him currently. This was a complete coincidence. I contacted him back in 07, asking questions about writing and he replied back with some great advice, but that's the only contact we've had.

Heck, there have been plenty of times in the last two years that I've wanted to speak with both Brandon Mull (said author) and Stephenie Meyers. As a fellow Mormon writing fantasy (and in Stephenie's case, vampires) I would kill for the chance to pick their brains on a number of topics only they could answer.

But my point is, that's two people (a prior beta and an author) whom contacted or followed me. Me! Sheesh. Makes me want to clean up my digital house a bit more.

It also raises a question. Since '06, after I thought I was finished with book 1, I started making a lot of noise online. I posted all over the place, trying to get Annabelle out there. If two people I contacted back then are still watching, who else is?

It's exciting.

*Sniff* The group is done

I'm sure going to miss them. We've all got various things going on and mutually agreed it was time to quit. But while it was going I learned so much. In fact, before I started it with Willard, before Sherry, Christy, Antonio or even Clare joined, I learned at the other group with Michelle, Kim and Kirk. All of the members of both critique groups have helped me beyond words.

I've thought, since day 1, who I would thank on a dedication page. In fact the rough draft had such a page and I keep everything.

So it's time to update it. I may never get published and die an old drafter who couldn't quite touch the sky, but if by some miracle I do get Ann out there and she makes it, it's due to many shoulders. Here are all the ones I can think of at the moment...

There is a special virtue in taking a curse and making it a blessing.

For the knowledge and help;
Jeff, Steven, Willard, Chris, Ian, Jay, Adam, Mike, Daniel, Mr. Peterson, Mr. Warner, Claudia, Night Author, Aprilynne, Danielle, Jason, Jesse, Michelle, Kim, Kirk, Liz (RIP), M’liss, Claire, Anna, Sherry, Antonio, Christy and two of Mr. Russon’s 6th grade classes.

For the heart and soul;
Janeen, Laura, Katelyn, Sara and David


----

Yep, this year of edits is done. I've got a couple things left (5 more chaps of hard copy mark ups, possible last scene from Roland's pov) then it's resubmit time. But did I catch everything?

Does it still talk down? Does the show outweigh the tell? Is the history stuff accurate? Are the characters interesting enough? Strong enough? Does it resolve things enough to be considered stand alone? Is the action paced enough? Are the redundant and passive words replaced with active words? And is it still stiff?

Sigh. Will it ever be right? Am I over-editing?

"They" all say they get sucked in. Will "they" still get sucked in? I see so many errors in so many published works, yet those books are popular. Their characters and entertain and inspire. Can mine? Will mine?

I've traded very short, brief emails with Brandon Mull and Daran Shan, but I wish I could just sit and chat with a published author about my fears. Ask them if they went through it. How did they survive? Did they ever find out if their editing was "too much" or "not enough" or did it ultimately even matter?

A part of me feels close. A part of me feels very far away.

Longs for more Golden Compass movies...

Just rewatched the movie on HBO. I have the special DVDs and my ears are always pealed for news on the sequels.

Last critique group it was suggested that I broaden my YA reading. I was told there was a world outside Harry Potter and Twilight. She said that because I always cite those books when comparing mine. I do that for familiarity. The truth is, I have read other books. I've read Darren Shan's Cirque Du Freak series, the Spiderwick Chronicles series(although that was practically a picture book), Watership Down, the Lord of the Rings trilogy, the Work and the Glory series, most of the Tinnishoes Among the Nephites series and I'm in the middle of the second Fablehaven book.

I've also read the His Dark Materials trilogy. I read all three of these before the movie came out. My daughter has read them, too and like me she loves them. I like Harry more, but I this the Dark Materials books better than the Twilight series. I like Lyra a lot better than Bella and just as much as I like Hermonie.

I enjoyed the movie and after rewatching it on HBO I did a web surf on the sequels. Still nothing. hisdarkmaterials.org is gone, Wikipedia and IMDB have nothing of real use in regard to new news on the sequels.

I long for them. I hunger. But alas, for so many different reasons, they are on hold. Dakota Blue Richards is getting older and before long it'll be too late.

Sigh.

You THINK it's a 70's education film.

Watch closely.