Thursday night Katie went to the Emergency Room. Her leg is acting up again. They re wrapped it and sent her home.
Friday we saw a doctor. He re wrapped it and sent her home. "Go see a special foot doctor next week."
Friday night she was in terrible pain, despite the meds, so we took her into Primary Children (a leading hospital). All night. "Go see a special foot doctor next week."
Saturday night her stomach was killing her. Took her back to the local Emergency Room. They gave her an IV, waited for half a bag of fluids and then sent her home.
We slept Mother's Day.
Now, today, I'm sick with the flu. I'm taking some meds and going to sleep.
Monday, May 14, 2007
Wednesday, May 09, 2007
Novel update
I finished the rewrite of Chapter 2. It combines Chapter's 2,3 and 4, bringing the action and real story to Chapter 3 with the Mysterious Cabin.
I put the new Chapter 2 on AW and had it cut to pieces. I fixed the things others noticed and now I've sent it along with chapters 1, 3 and 4 (for story continuity) to four friends.
After I get their comments and make the desired changes, then I'll reprint and resume submissions.
I got another rejection, this one from Christopher Little's secretary. He's JKR and Darren Shan's agent.
That's OK. I feel somehow that he's not the right agent for me.
I put the new Chapter 2 on AW and had it cut to pieces. I fixed the things others noticed and now I've sent it along with chapters 1, 3 and 4 (for story continuity) to four friends.
After I get their comments and make the desired changes, then I'll reprint and resume submissions.
I got another rejection, this one from Christopher Little's secretary. He's JKR and Darren Shan's agent.
That's OK. I feel somehow that he's not the right agent for me.
Sunday, May 06, 2007
Spidey 3, I liked it. SPOILERS
Willard, don't read cause I'm spoiling it. Please forgive the misspelling.
Some people complain about the crying, some about Harry's death. Some compare it to the 90's Batman sequels. I'm sure a lot whine about the CGI.
I don't see that. I saw a great movie that was fun, resolved some plot lines effectively and at the same time was able to bring in new characters and give us time with each of them.
Last night I was caught up in the usual "new movie" euphoria and told Willard on the phone that it was the best of the three. On second thought, the first is still the best because it set the stage. This one, however, was still very fun.
Back in the 80's I read this great Marvel Two In One comic. The Thing and Sandman. In it they don't fight but instead just talk. Flint was sick of the villain bizz and the Thing talks him into giving it up. For the next several years Flint is a good guy. He was even an Avenger (for far to short a time). He gained some depth.
Then John Byrne came in and wrote Flint with the "I was just faking it" crap. Now he's a villain again. He's back to a 2D character with no strength of being.
In the movie we see that Flint has a sick daughter and that has been his motivation. In the end Spidey lets him leave after the two have a heart-to-heart. I liked that. I would hope that this turns him around in the comics, but I'm not really reading them much so I guess it wouldn't really matter to me. Would I like to see him in the sequels? Yes. Would I like to see him as a "villain"? I'd like to see another villain use Flint's daughter as a bargaining chip to get him to be part of a movie Sinister Six.
When I saw the Mummy (we're big fans here. Can't wait for next year's Mummy 3) I said "Now we're ready for Sandman". Last night as he pulled himself together I said "THIS is what I meant." The sand effects where perfect. I so want more!
I found myself going "Peter, you dope!" several times, which is what they wanted me to do. I think his relationship with Mary Jane resolved too quickly. He hit her, people! He should sit down and explain the costume to her. She's easily believe it because she loves him, deep down still trusts him and she knows Venom. Then she would understand why he did those things at her club. But then she'd chew him out about being a clueless moron and too into his press. Then things would be stronger in their relationship.
Personally, I wanted her to leave for California and for him to go it alone into the next film. Then they could fix things with Gwen and kill her (but they did the bridge thing in #1 so they would have to think of something different) or bring in the Black Cat (a must in the future). I'd want Mary Jane gone for #4 and 5 then come back in #6 to get married to Pete.
I think the black costume was introduced very well. I don't read Ultimates but I heard somewhere that a stray meteor was the explanation in those books. We couldn't have the Secret Wars so it works for the film. Conners talking Reed Richards part and explaining the symbiont's properties was well done. I'm glad Conners is getting so much screen time in these films. We HAVE to have Lizard in #4.
Venom was perfect. Topher Grace was perfect as Brock. I want more Venom and everyone knows the rule. If you don't see a body, he isn't dead. Yes, his time was too short. He needed an entire movie for his subplot, but when the symbiont / Brock / Venom was on screen, it was perfect.
OK, Harry died. Yes, that sucks, but in a "good movie making me feel for the characters" suck. It was the best resolution to the Harry plot. Here's where the "no body" rule gets waved. Mary Jane mentioned he didn't even have a scar, so that Goblin serum have him slow healing abilities. He could crawl out of his grave for good or bad if they wanted to keep Franco on in the films. BUT the Spidey comics gave us Hobgoblin. We could just introduce both Ned Leads and that Macintire bad guy, put other mysteries in there then make the audience guess (maybe not even tell them in #4)as to who the Hobgoblin is.
It would be so easy. Sony pictures said there would be three more films. This is what I want to see...
In #4 we see mystery person find the Goblin stuff and steal it. Conners becomes Lizard. Maybe even just stay with only Lizard (bring in Black Cat and lose MJ for a bit, there's enough story for 1 film). Conners gets "cured" at the end of film.
In #5 we get Electro. Meanwhile in the background Hobby blackmails Sandman. We never saw a body so both Doc Ock and Venom are brought back and "cared for" by Hobby.
In #6 Hobby brings Doc Ock, Venom, Electro, Sandman and Lizard down on Spidey. Imagine the CGI. Yum!
OK, that's my thoughts. Yours?
Some people complain about the crying, some about Harry's death. Some compare it to the 90's Batman sequels. I'm sure a lot whine about the CGI.
I don't see that. I saw a great movie that was fun, resolved some plot lines effectively and at the same time was able to bring in new characters and give us time with each of them.
Last night I was caught up in the usual "new movie" euphoria and told Willard on the phone that it was the best of the three. On second thought, the first is still the best because it set the stage. This one, however, was still very fun.
Back in the 80's I read this great Marvel Two In One comic. The Thing and Sandman. In it they don't fight but instead just talk. Flint was sick of the villain bizz and the Thing talks him into giving it up. For the next several years Flint is a good guy. He was even an Avenger (for far to short a time). He gained some depth.
Then John Byrne came in and wrote Flint with the "I was just faking it" crap. Now he's a villain again. He's back to a 2D character with no strength of being.
In the movie we see that Flint has a sick daughter and that has been his motivation. In the end Spidey lets him leave after the two have a heart-to-heart. I liked that. I would hope that this turns him around in the comics, but I'm not really reading them much so I guess it wouldn't really matter to me. Would I like to see him in the sequels? Yes. Would I like to see him as a "villain"? I'd like to see another villain use Flint's daughter as a bargaining chip to get him to be part of a movie Sinister Six.
When I saw the Mummy (we're big fans here. Can't wait for next year's Mummy 3) I said "Now we're ready for Sandman". Last night as he pulled himself together I said "THIS is what I meant." The sand effects where perfect. I so want more!
I found myself going "Peter, you dope!" several times, which is what they wanted me to do. I think his relationship with Mary Jane resolved too quickly. He hit her, people! He should sit down and explain the costume to her. She's easily believe it because she loves him, deep down still trusts him and she knows Venom. Then she would understand why he did those things at her club. But then she'd chew him out about being a clueless moron and too into his press. Then things would be stronger in their relationship.
Personally, I wanted her to leave for California and for him to go it alone into the next film. Then they could fix things with Gwen and kill her (but they did the bridge thing in #1 so they would have to think of something different) or bring in the Black Cat (a must in the future). I'd want Mary Jane gone for #4 and 5 then come back in #6 to get married to Pete.
I think the black costume was introduced very well. I don't read Ultimates but I heard somewhere that a stray meteor was the explanation in those books. We couldn't have the Secret Wars so it works for the film. Conners talking Reed Richards part and explaining the symbiont's properties was well done. I'm glad Conners is getting so much screen time in these films. We HAVE to have Lizard in #4.
Venom was perfect. Topher Grace was perfect as Brock. I want more Venom and everyone knows the rule. If you don't see a body, he isn't dead. Yes, his time was too short. He needed an entire movie for his subplot, but when the symbiont / Brock / Venom was on screen, it was perfect.
OK, Harry died. Yes, that sucks, but in a "good movie making me feel for the characters" suck. It was the best resolution to the Harry plot. Here's where the "no body" rule gets waved. Mary Jane mentioned he didn't even have a scar, so that Goblin serum have him slow healing abilities. He could crawl out of his grave for good or bad if they wanted to keep Franco on in the films. BUT the Spidey comics gave us Hobgoblin. We could just introduce both Ned Leads and that Macintire bad guy, put other mysteries in there then make the audience guess (maybe not even tell them in #4)as to who the Hobgoblin is.
It would be so easy. Sony pictures said there would be three more films. This is what I want to see...
In #4 we see mystery person find the Goblin stuff and steal it. Conners becomes Lizard. Maybe even just stay with only Lizard (bring in Black Cat and lose MJ for a bit, there's enough story for 1 film). Conners gets "cured" at the end of film.
In #5 we get Electro. Meanwhile in the background Hobby blackmails Sandman. We never saw a body so both Doc Ock and Venom are brought back and "cared for" by Hobby.
In #6 Hobby brings Doc Ock, Venom, Electro, Sandman and Lizard down on Spidey. Imagine the CGI. Yum!
OK, that's my thoughts. Yours?
Saturday, May 05, 2007
I'm a Marvel...and I'm a DC.
Willard showed me this great "I'm a Mac, I'm I PC" satire. Take a look.
Friday, May 04, 2007
Spidey 3 tonight!
We're going for David's birthday! Can't wait! I'll post more later.
EDIT
It was postponed till Sat night.
EDIT
It was postponed till Sat night.
Revised Chapter 2
It came to me out of nowhere a few nights ago. I figured out how to take the following...
Chapter 2, intro to the setting and two major characters plus intro to three other characters
Chapter 3, intro to three more characters plus the mystery of the town.
Chapter 4, more info on main character
I discovered how to take these three boring chapters that do a lot of telling and merge them into one chapter. I hope I'm showing more than telling.
Anyway, this means stuff starts really happening in chapter 3. I put the new chapter 2 on AW for review.
Gulp!
Chapter 2, intro to the setting and two major characters plus intro to three other characters
Chapter 3, intro to three more characters plus the mystery of the town.
Chapter 4, more info on main character
I discovered how to take these three boring chapters that do a lot of telling and merge them into one chapter. I hope I'm showing more than telling.
Anyway, this means stuff starts really happening in chapter 3. I put the new chapter 2 on AW for review.
Gulp!
Thursday, May 03, 2007
A real Super Hero?
A real super hero? Here's the news article.
In some ways I think he might me nuts, but on the other hand at least he's doing something.
Here's his Myspace site.
There seems to be a whole lot of them.
In some ways I think he might me nuts, but on the other hand at least he's doing something.
Here's his Myspace site.
There seems to be a whole lot of them.
Wednesday, May 02, 2007
I'm Visionary!
Adam created a quiz with his characters. I would do the same except I'm pretty busy.
| Which member of Visionary's cast are you? Your Result: Visionary You are most like Visionary: A little slow on the uptake, but a good guy and not at all fake. You might not have the flashy powers, skills or wardrobe of your peers, but you have friends, family, and the respect of.... | |
| Hallie | |
| Magweed and Griffin | |
| Kerry | |
| Fleabot | |
| Quoth | |
| Mary Prankstar | |
| Roni Y. Avis | |
| Which member of Visionary's cast are you? Take More Quizzes | |
Tuesday, May 01, 2007
Monday, April 30, 2007
Rejection
Remember that request for a partial? Well I got the form rejection letter today.
Guess I need to get back in the game.
Maybe I should rewrite chapter 2-4 like I planned. Or maybe I'll just send some more queries out.
In the rejection she says she could not connect with Annabelle or Roland.
What still frustrates me is kids can connect with them, but agents are blocking/ denying them the chance.
Ah well.
UPDATE
This just occurred to me. She wanted "50 or so pages" and I emailed her, requesting I send 66 pages (cuase page 50 is in the middle of a chapter. She never replied. I bet I left a sour taste in her mouth, so to speak.
This is more reason to rewrite chapter 2 so that it covers info from chapters 2,3,4 and 5. Then chapter three will be the Mysterious Cabin. Things get better paced there.
Why did Rowling get to do two boring first chapters? I'm talking about back when she first tried.
I know, I'm whining, but I just want a chance.
Guess I need to get back in the game.
Maybe I should rewrite chapter 2-4 like I planned. Or maybe I'll just send some more queries out.
In the rejection she says she could not connect with Annabelle or Roland.
What still frustrates me is kids can connect with them, but agents are blocking/ denying them the chance.
Ah well.
UPDATE
This just occurred to me. She wanted "50 or so pages" and I emailed her, requesting I send 66 pages (cuase page 50 is in the middle of a chapter. She never replied. I bet I left a sour taste in her mouth, so to speak.
This is more reason to rewrite chapter 2 so that it covers info from chapters 2,3,4 and 5. Then chapter three will be the Mysterious Cabin. Things get better paced there.
Why did Rowling get to do two boring first chapters? I'm talking about back when she first tried.
I know, I'm whining, but I just want a chance.
Sunday, April 29, 2007
Whoohoo! I'm original!
I did it for both Annabelle and Roland.
Annabelle got 18,102
Roland got 108,615.
Foresight got 0
Yes! Original!
As for "Jack Roberts", my pen name...
Annabelle got 18,102
Roland got 108,615.
Foresight got 0
Yes! Original!
As for "Jack Roberts", my pen name...
Thursday, April 26, 2007
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
Shame they don't have Annabelle...
 | You scored as Dracula. You are the smooth sexy cool Dracula. Patient and lustful. If you were any cooler youd be ice. Great style with a way of seducing those around you. And three brides who wouldn't want to be him.
Whose your Vampire personality? (images) created with QuizFarm.com |
The guy who did the quiz could learn how to spell.
I'm a wizard, Harry!
You scored as Wizard. You are a wizard. Through reading books and leanring the histoy of the mistakes in the world, you figure out a way to revamp them and figure out the answer on your own. You search for the unknown and thus is why you know how to use sparkly magic thingies!
What D&D class are you? created with QuizFarm.com |
My Hook review on Fangs, Fur and Fey is up...
It wasn't good. I don't care about the contest because the prize was for pages to be sent to Rachael Vater, and she's already rejected my book twice.
I entered to get feed back and that's just what I got. One of the published authors who frequent the site judged my hook on whether it could grab him or her. Some things held it back.
I really do appreciate the chance so don't think I'm whining. I'm just concerned because . . . well take a look.
Hook 61
What happens when you take two happy, optimistic kids, and turn them into vampires? Ten year old Annabelle loves animals and has a strong desire to learn. She would much rather read her favorite books than explore. Her brother Roland is twelve and thinks reading is boring. He’d be happier exploring. It is the late 1600s and their family had just moved from England to the New World . Annabelle and Roland’s lives are shattered when the evil vampire Dominic kills their parents and leaves the children to die. His wife does not agree with his actions but has always been too afraid to rebel. Seeing the children’s plight, she acts on impulse and rescues them the only way she knows how, by transforming them into what she is and teaching them how to become children of the night.
Annabelle and Roland learn how to turn into bats and wolves. They struggle to control their cravings while mastering their vampiric abilities. Annabelle and her brother befriend the Mohegan Indians, free a witch from the Salem jail, hide from a ruthless vampire hunter and struggle to keep their existence as vampires a secret in their colonial town. They grow from inexperienced young children to confident teenagers while facing Dominic’s wicked servants. Each vampire, witch and werewolf that tries to kill them is tougher than the last until finally, after years of apprehension mixed with fear, they confront the master vampire who slaughtered their parents. Future uncertain, the teen vampires must try and stop Dominic before he destroys everything they hold dear.
Notes—My first thought to your opening question was “Happy vampires?” This could be fun, though—you’ve put young adult vampires into a time we don’t read too much about. I was a little concerned Dominic turned the kids at such a young age, and wondered if it couldn't’t have happened to them when they older? Older kids might be better able to survive/blend in—just a thought. As for the description of the two kids—can you dig a little deeper than simply giving them the opposite interests? Also, their interests don’t come into play in your synopsis—perhaps they do in the text, but since you make a point of telling me Annabelle likes to read, I thought that might come up later on.
I also wondered about the available books in this time—not light reading for a ten year old. As for the rest, it seems episodic—attack after attack—each stronger than the last. Why is Dominic sending creatures to kill them? And I don’t get a sense of what they “hold dear”. Are their friends in peril? Again, my first thoughts were that this could be fun—the setting is unique, but I need to see a story arc.
---
OK, me again. I noticed that she/he didn't see that it was Eliza who turned the kids. At first I thought I didn't clarify that well, but there it is in the first paragraph.
I'm concerned though. She/he mentions that the kids should be older. Aprilynne said the same thing. Do I loose the happy little bats and children learning to be young vamps? The kids at the school loved those things. I really believe in my gut it should stay that way.
Also, in my query/hook I mentioned the ageing of the children at the middle of the book. The guys at Absolute Write told me that detracted from the hook. Now I see where it would help. It's a major part of the book, watching these young kids change into teens overnight. It relates with the same growing pain problems pre-teens go through all over the world. I want to mention it but how?
In the book I cover how Annabelle could have gotten a hold of books
during those days. Her father was a bookbinder. Maybe I should mention that?
Episodic. That's what Adam said after reading the book. Maybe it is. Maybe it wont sell because of that. How can I fix this? Should I throw the book away and rewrite?
Here's what someone else said in the responses...
lnhammer on April 25th, 2007 12:10 am (UTC)
I'm very intrigued by #61, but with reservations. It's that each opponent is tougher than the last thing -- like a sorting algorithm of evil. Rather than training them up, why wasn't a tough enough minion sent to take care of things first time through? It makes the plot sound very by-the-numbers.
Ouch! Very true.
Man, it feels like I almost have it. It's like my goal is just outside of my reach.
This, combined with my fear for Janeen's present physical health and mental welfare, has made my mood deeply concerned and very unrested.
I entered to get feed back and that's just what I got. One of the published authors who frequent the site judged my hook on whether it could grab him or her. Some things held it back.
I really do appreciate the chance so don't think I'm whining. I'm just concerned because . . . well take a look.
Hook 61
What happens when you take two happy, optimistic kids, and turn them into vampires? Ten year old Annabelle loves animals and has a strong desire to learn. She would much rather read her favorite books than explore. Her brother Roland is twelve and thinks reading is boring. He’d be happier exploring. It is the late 1600s and their family had just moved from England to the New World . Annabelle and Roland’s lives are shattered when the evil vampire Dominic kills their parents and leaves the children to die. His wife does not agree with his actions but has always been too afraid to rebel. Seeing the children’s plight, she acts on impulse and rescues them the only way she knows how, by transforming them into what she is and teaching them how to become children of the night.
Annabelle and Roland learn how to turn into bats and wolves. They struggle to control their cravings while mastering their vampiric abilities. Annabelle and her brother befriend the Mohegan Indians, free a witch from the Salem jail, hide from a ruthless vampire hunter and struggle to keep their existence as vampires a secret in their colonial town. They grow from inexperienced young children to confident teenagers while facing Dominic’s wicked servants. Each vampire, witch and werewolf that tries to kill them is tougher than the last until finally, after years of apprehension mixed with fear, they confront the master vampire who slaughtered their parents. Future uncertain, the teen vampires must try and stop Dominic before he destroys everything they hold dear.
Notes—My first thought to your opening question was “Happy vampires?” This could be fun, though—you’ve put young adult vampires into a time we don’t read too much about. I was a little concerned Dominic turned the kids at such a young age, and wondered if it couldn't’t have happened to them when they older? Older kids might be better able to survive/blend in—just a thought. As for the description of the two kids—can you dig a little deeper than simply giving them the opposite interests? Also, their interests don’t come into play in your synopsis—perhaps they do in the text, but since you make a point of telling me Annabelle likes to read, I thought that might come up later on.
I also wondered about the available books in this time—not light reading for a ten year old. As for the rest, it seems episodic—attack after attack—each stronger than the last. Why is Dominic sending creatures to kill them? And I don’t get a sense of what they “hold dear”. Are their friends in peril? Again, my first thoughts were that this could be fun—the setting is unique, but I need to see a story arc.
---
OK, me again. I noticed that she/he didn't see that it was Eliza who turned the kids. At first I thought I didn't clarify that well, but there it is in the first paragraph.
I'm concerned though. She/he mentions that the kids should be older. Aprilynne said the same thing. Do I loose the happy little bats and children learning to be young vamps? The kids at the school loved those things. I really believe in my gut it should stay that way.
Also, in my query/hook I mentioned the ageing of the children at the middle of the book. The guys at Absolute Write told me that detracted from the hook. Now I see where it would help. It's a major part of the book, watching these young kids change into teens overnight. It relates with the same growing pain problems pre-teens go through all over the world. I want to mention it but how?
In the book I cover how Annabelle could have gotten a hold of books
during those days. Her father was a bookbinder. Maybe I should mention that?
Episodic. That's what Adam said after reading the book. Maybe it is. Maybe it wont sell because of that. How can I fix this? Should I throw the book away and rewrite?
Here's what someone else said in the responses...
lnhammer on April 25th, 2007 12:10 am (UTC)
I'm very intrigued by #61, but with reservations. It's that each opponent is tougher than the last thing -- like a sorting algorithm of evil. Rather than training them up, why wasn't a tough enough minion sent to take care of things first time through? It makes the plot sound very by-the-numbers.
Ouch! Very true.
Man, it feels like I almost have it. It's like my goal is just outside of my reach.
This, combined with my fear for Janeen's present physical health and mental welfare, has made my mood deeply concerned and very unrested.
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